How He Loves Us.

The wind has been furious. It's been viciously shaking the trees and pounding my window throughout the night. I was able to sleep through it comfortably until the power went off around 3. Then our white noise didn't work and there wasn't airflow and the kids started howling wondering what was happening and where their night lights went.

A couple dayg ago I dumped two huge water containers that I had prepared in November for hurricane weather. I was going to use it for flushing the toilets if the electricity went off. I thought all was well so after 3 months down the drain the water went. This wasn't super clean water it was tainted with remains of leftover aloe juice, etc.

We have a well that uses a pump... so right now, no water. No flushing the toilets. Etc. Hopefully it won't be too long without power.

I'm so thankful that I had recently been purchasing candles. I would find these amazing deals for beautiful fragrant candles for $2. One was found at Barnes & Noble and another two found at a thrift store. So thankfully I had plenty to burn this morning as we got our children ready in the dark.

They keep asking why the power is off and if that means the tv will be off and why won't the lights turn on? They don't understand all that we use electricity for. I tell them don't flush the toilet. Don't wash your hands. Here use hand sanitizer. don't open the fridge. No you can't have toast. No you can't have oatmeal. No, Mommy can't make coffee. No smoothies either.

My kids have been wary of the dark. They don't like it. They're a bit fearful. They travel in pairs on the stairs and take turns going to the bathroom together so it's not so scary. They're off to school now where I'm hoping that they'll have electricity.

I don't like not having power but really I see myself quite blessed. This could have occurred last week-end with the snow and the freezing cold. The temperature is mild outside right now... like a spring day. I have a window slightly opened so i can feel the fresh wind blow against me now and again.

Yesterday, as I lay on my bed stroking one of my son's heads I realized how utterly blessed I am. My children are alive. I live in a home. I am more than comfortable. We have two working cars. Mike has had work the past two months. And I was trying to savor the moment. Just breathe in my child and enjoy the moment, the fleeting moment of my child being small.

I kind of was in a daze of wonder as I realized how miraculous my children are. There sits a part of me and a part of my beloved, created by God, knit in my womb. I marvel.

I don't know if I've been able to marvel appropriately. I was pregnant with my firstborn when my sister passed and I think grief overshadowed so much of the joy and miraculous of pregnancy, of newborns, of children.

I realize there is a lot I was never able to appreciate fully because I wasn't able to fully think or engage. So, I'm thankful now. Thankful that I was able to conceive and bear 5 little miracles.

And though most of my days are a whirlwind of exhaustion, correction and encouragement, changing diapers and comforting those with scraped knees and paper cuts.. I wouldn't trade it.

It's early morning and I hear the birds call and I have the luxury of being able to go back to sleep for a few more hours.

David Crowder's song, "How He loves" is playing in my mind so i will leave you with the lyrics. and might I recommend if you've never heard it go listen to it. It's amazing and encouraging and one of my favorite songs.

"How He Loves"
(originally by John Mark McMillan)

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about the way...

He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us...
Oh, how He loves us...
Oh, how He loves us.