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Showing posts from December, 2018

Finding Rest in a Restless World

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In the still small quiet hours of the morning, when no one is awake but me and I’m left with myself and my thoughts, I wonder.
I wonder what I should be doing. Tackling the house? Working out extra early? Soaking in the tub? Sneak out and get coffee at Starbucks… it is after 5 after all.
The key is SHOULD. That word that makes me feel guilty at every turn. There’s always a hundred different things I COULD be doing. And it’s hard for me to choose in any given moment what the priority is.
I’m training for the Shamrock half marathon. Working out 5 days a week. 3 days of High Intensity Interval Training. 2 days of walk/running.
But on a Sunday the one day of rest… what should I do? What rests my soul? What refreshes my spirit? What renews my energy? What recovers my body?
So I look to the Lord. The giver of all good gifts. Psalm 127:2 (NIV) states, “In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.
The striving in me needs to shut down and…

Missing her still...

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December 7th would have been my sister's 36th birthday. So hard to believe it's almost been 15 years since I saw her last.

This song is an oldie but a goodie. Resonates with my heart today...

Over the Rhine ~ Latter Days

What a beautiful piece of heartache
This has all turned out to be
Lord knows we've learned the hard way
All about healthy apathy I use these words pretty loosely
There's so much more to life than words There is a me you would not recognize, dear
Call it the shadow of myself
And if the music starts before I get there
Dance without me, you dance so gracefully
I really think I'll be okay
They've taken a toll, these latter days Nothing like sleeping on a bed of nails
Nothing much here but our broken dream
Oh, but baby, if all else fails
Nothing is ever quite what it seems And I'm dying inside to leave you
With more than just cliches There is a me you would not recognize, dear
Call it the shadow of myself
And if the music starts before I get there
Dance without me, y…

Which Way is Up

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Have you ever had that moment in the ocean where a wave causes you to take a tumble and you can't figure out which way to the surface? That's where I've been lately. Desperately trying to find my way to to the top so I can break out of the water to grab some air.

I was talking to my Mom on the phone the other day and I said to her casually in the course of conversation... "Which way is Up?"

In this funk, this depression that has come over me, I've struggled to do daily life. Dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. It all takes a Herculean effort for me to do these very basic tasks.

And that's okay.

And I'm finally realizing that.

This year we were struck with an emotional blow that still leaves us winded and gasping for air. I'm heartbroken. And yet...

And yet there is a God who is bigger than every struggle, bigger than my depression, bigger than the hole in my aching heart.

Sometimes it is so clear to see this invisible love tethering me gently to Himse…