Friday, June 19, 2015

Imperfection




“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.” 


Thursday, June 18, 2015

Vulnerability


Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.



Friday, June 05, 2015

Ministry: Where I Am & Where I'm Going...

I was sitting in Panera at a typical monthly meeting, listening to the core team in my church plant discuss the usual.

But then something happened.

I'm not sure what exactly.

I felt this tingle in my spine as my pastor and my brother-in-law started discussing their most recent trip to Uganda. And I had a vision of rocking African babies and serving. It was big. Bigger than I can express at the moment.

It kind of hit me like a bolt of lightning. I could feel the energy and excitement tingle in my toes and fingertips.

Am I crazy? Is this crazy? I've never had a heart for Africa? I've never had a desire to go that continent, with the small exception of visiting the pyramids in Egypt.

I kind of pictured my missionary days as being over ever since I've married and settled down and had 5 kids.

But a seed was planted. A small little seed of hope was dug into my heart. And it's been watered and the sun has shone on this seed and now I have a little plantling of faith growing.

If the Lord wills. If He provides. If I continue to save.....
                           ...My hope, my goal, my vision is to be in Uganda. My plan is to go with my church on a missions trip this January. We're talking in less than 6 months.

My purpose is to go and serve and to love and help.

Sanyu Babies Home is my destination.

My goal at the orphanage and babies home is to help support the staff by helping in their round the clock care of children. Feeding babies in the night. Rocking. Diapering. Loving. If I can and it's helpful I'd also like to assist in the construction and repair projects that are needed.

A lot of my habits are built around making this trip happen. When I exercise and do cardio and strength training it's so that I'm more equipped and more able to serve in Uganda. When I'm tutoring any financial compensation I receive is going towards my Uganda trip. I'm even contemplating giving up my Starbucks coffee habit (um, addiction) in exchange for filling up my Africa jar. Oh dear Lord, you must be moving me!

Praying for creative ways to work and earn money for this trip. I'm so excited to see what the Lord has.

I'm thankful that I can minister and serve where ever I am. Whether it's cleaning my bathroom or teaching my children. Whether it's providing someone with a meal or encouraging a new Mom. God is equipping me to love and serve where I am. Whether in my home or on the other side of the world.

This is a bold and brave step for me. To leave my husband and my fabulous 5 littles and journey around the globe. But I want this. I can taste it. January 2-10... starting my New Year in a new continent for me. Seeing God's bigness in the little and the mundane and in the face of each child. Serving in simple ways. It's not glorious or earth shattering but being faithful step by step.

If this is the path the Lord has me, and I believe it is, I want to walk it, in faith.

So I train. I grow stronger. I choose healthier foods. I need a strong body and a strong mind. I need to plan and prepare. I want to commit to memorizing His Word. I want to pray, pray, pray.

Missions at home. Missions overseas. Missions where ever God has me. That's where I'm going.

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

The day before my birthday, Birthday Blues, A poem.

Birthday Blues, Birthday Blues.

Shake them off but they stick like glue.

Wrestle them down into a tiny box

Put on the lid, sit on the top

But they Spring forward like a jack in the box.


Some moments time passes achingly slow

with more diapers to change, more noses to blow

And other moments it slips through my hands

like trying to catch water from my shower or hold grains of sand.


My story is still being written, it's not done, it's not the end

But I struggle to see the passing time as a friend.

He's written all my days, and hey I'm still alive

This isn't the end. I'm just turning 35.


Sorry I get like this,  philosophical and so crazy contemplative

It's just a by-product of being overly numerative.

Breathe, take a breath, and then exhale

Tomorrow is just like any other day, yes, I will prevail.


So I take all these feelings and emotions and I give them to God

And say I surrender, please help me to turn off

My brain that won't stop thinking and processing

That tells me how much I'm failing and all I'm doing wrong

Please help me to trust in the work of your Son.


More like Him, less like me,

Every year your changing me,

Into Your Likeness I want to be

more like you, less like me.


So tomorrow might suck, my husband is out of town

The kids might freak out and have total melt downs

Or perhaps it might be a rosy day that has unexpected good

With lots of little surprises and some very tasty food.



But I'm resting in the fact that it's okay either way

Whether it's awesome and amazing or a really horrible day.

I am held by One who knows and loves me and created the stars

So I can trust Him with my birthday, with my thoughts, with my heart.


And I know that in Him, I am free of myself,

Of the selfish, and the petty, of the obsession with me

And tomorrow I can choose how I respond

With joy or with anger, I can choose to be happy

With whatever I'm given, it's more than I need

It's better than I deserve, I have been set FREE!