Thursday, January 31, 2008

Overwhelmed by Love...


What precious gift is this when we reach the end of ourselves, when we come to the place where we can fight no more and instead fall into the loving arms of our Saviour. How kind and good and gracious is our Lord the One who not only saves us from our sins and redeems our souls but came to give us life abundantly... and to transform us from ourselves into something more beautiful, the image of Himself, a more accurate reflection of Him.

Yesterday after a nice nap Mike and the kids and I went out. We went to Babies R'Us so I could get a maternity support belt (which is truly fabulous!) and also to get a gift for a pregnant friend's baby shower. We also went to Target and started our baby registry. What a fun thing. It got me so excited about having these little boys. I was excited at the thought of bathing them and dressing them and playing with them. It made me feel like this is really real... my pregnancy that is... that there will be little people who will come from this endeavor. A friend of mine in PA wants to throw me a shower... and a friend from Va as well. I feel so blessed and loved. I don't care about presents or gifts (although they are nice, wonderful, and thoughtful things)... I am just excited that people care about me and about the little ones coming and that they are rejoicing with me! We didn't do much because the kids were getting cranky but we did have the fun of picking out some sparkly hello kitty shoes for Libby. They are more like glorified sandals but safer and sturdier than the plastic heels she had been stomping around in and eventually broke.

We left and went to Barnes and Noble where the kids played with trains and where I read Libby 4 books on ballerinas (just a wee bit obsessed). We had the luxury of picking up some pizza for home afterwards... Uno's Pizza. I love their pizza. The mozzarella is fantastic and I love the fresh tomatoes they use... delish!

So it was a great night! It was just the night that lasted forever. I was up to 3 in the morning! between a coffee frappuccino and a lot on my mind I was up for quite some time! But I did have fun looking at baby stuff on line, determining what I need to talk to the doctor about next week, and making plans.

But today was amazing. A woman from Bible Study had offered to bring a meal and help me pack for a couple hours this morning. Judy came arriving with bags of groceries... a dinner of beef pot-pies, cooked carrots, and more... and strawberries and fudgy brownies for dessert... can we say yum?! She helped me pack for over 2 hours and then proceeded to do my dishes, clean my kitchen floor and pick-up. It was a kiss from Heaven. She insisted on me relaxing and so I didn't do much... but it was just amazing to see so much love and care put into action. She also brought over a baby carrier seat for us to have! It's a Graco, which is the same brand we already have and have used for Libby and Samuel which means it will be compatible for the stroller we registered for at Target. And yeah! We don't have to buy another car seat! We have car seats for both of them!

Judy offered more help in the future before she left and some baby items she's not using! What a blessing from the Lord. God is so kind to me.

I have been thinking of things recently to be THANKFUL for:

-a quick time in the hospital with fantastic staff
-Sonya watching Samuel for me while I was in the hospital
-Libby's teacher taking care of her at school and after school while I was in the hospital
-a car seat for one of the twins!
-dinner I don't have to cook tonight
- 2 friends who want to both throw me baby showers
-a loving supportive husband who is caring for me and looking after me
- one funny almost 2 year old with dinosaur jammies on and wild hair who keeps smiling at me
- one 3 year old (who tells people she's 4) who dresses up like a princess and twirls around and dances in her new shoes
-paying for car insurance
-Mike's Pay Day is today
- I'm having a coffee with my friend Tosha this afternoon- Decaf perhaps :) Ok, let's do half caffeinated :)
-Brownies for dessert (and yes I tried one to make sure they were the good kind.... they are)
- An article is being published tomorrow... it's abut falling in love with Jesus... again.
-Mike and I are going on a marriage retreat Valentine's Day week-end!
-Samuel's birthday is on the 16th of Feb... my little 2 year old monkey!
- My maternity support belt- really helps ease the burden of my growing belly.. helps with back pain too!
- I haven't gained any weight this pregnancy. I'm still 5 pounds under my starting weight.
- Most of MY books are packed (not Mike's), and some of the kitchen misc. stuff
-Twinnings English Breakfast Tea
- good books to read
- I've gotten started on a baby blanket for my cousin's daughter
- My Bible Study Women- I have been so blessed and encouraged by them and by studying God's Word with them.
-My laptop which helps me communicate to the world out there.
-That Samuel usually takes 2 naps a day
-That I have a warm coat that miraculously still fits


there is so much more I could go on about but it's time for Libby to come home from school. I feel so blessed by God's provision, for His help in my time of need, for friends who care, and for almost strangers who are willing to serve and love in such practical ways. More importantly, that no matter what happens to me, I know that my greatest need has already been met. I have been redeemed from myself. I have been given a new life and a new heart... and a place with God. I thank God for days like this where I can feel happy and rejoice in what He has done... and even when the days are hard and tough and riddled with frustration, pain or confusion, that I can know that it is well with my soul!

Blessings Friends. I'm leaving you with a hymn that I had to sing as a solo when I was in the 6th grade. although it makes me laugh to think of me singing it then I still sing it to this day and rejoice in the truth of these words:

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.

2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed his own blood for my soul.
(Refrain)

3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
(Refrain)

4. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
even so, it is well with my soul.
(Refrain)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The big "D"...


I made a commitment when I first started this blog that I would be real. that I would be honest. So at the risk of being very VULNERABLE I'm going to share what's going on.

I am struggling. some of you might say, "no kidding". On top of a UTI, I also have another infection... the kind that deals with baking bread... you know what I mean. I also have been feeling crappy. very crappy. very frustrated, tired, anxious, overwhelmed, and tearful.

I think I have been driving Mike crazy because I've been very withdrawn, distant, and closed. I feel like my head is in a fog and that I'm shutting down. We had a good talk tonight. I think I was actually able to explain my feelings not only to him but to myself. He was saying something to the affect of trying to understand me and wanting to know what the real issue was, the bottom line.

So I said it. I dropped the "D" bomb.

"I think I'm depressed."

There it was said. It has been spoken. As much as I love my husband and my children and my children on the way I think I am really depressed. I am very overwhelmed about moving, about trying to juggle 2 toddlers, by my pregnancy, about mentally trying to wrap my head around having 2 more children at the same time, about staying in this 2 bedroom apartment, about sharing a car, about being unable to clean or vacuum or do laundry or do anything really. I'm depressed about my sister's death and have been dwelling on the fact that it was her husband's birthday today... and being sad because I don't know him anymore. Sad that she's not alive to celebrate with him. Sad that Sam is not alive to hug or kiss or make cookies and valentines with Libby. My Libby who probably wouldn't have even been named Libby had my sister been alive.

I don't feel like the sky is falling. I feel like the walls are caving in and that my brain is in a funk I can't escape out of.

I think my head is going to explode from all the emotions and hormones and stress. I don't want to be in the hospital again. I don't want Samuel to be in the hospital. I don't want to have to take him to see a G.I. specialist (Gastro-Intestinal). I don't want to deal with it all.

It doesn't help that I can't exercise and that I can't get out much. It doesn't help to have tons of crazy hormones in my body.

So now comes the time where I know I'm supposed to say something good and positive. I know it's there somewhere. I can still say God is good and He is faithful. I can also say that He knows I'm hurting... and He's not afraid of it.

don't worry though. I'm not jumping out the window or doing anything crazy. Just expressing what's inside. Knowing that this too will pass. Knowing that nothing is too "big or small" for God.

I bought a friend whose husband has terminal cancer a book. It's really a wonderful book. It's called, "My Beautiful Broken Shell: Words of Hope to Refresh the Soul" by Carol Hamblet Adams. In the book a woman compares herself to a shell she has found on the beach. A shell she wants to discard because of its imperfections and its brokenness but she keeps it because she sees herself in it. here are some quotes from the book...

"But then I stop... go back... and pick up the broken shell. I realize that this shell is me with my broken heart.... This shell had to fight so hard to keep from being totally crushed by the pounding surf... just as I have had to. yet this shell is still out on the beautiful sandy shore... just as I am. Thank you Lord that I haven't been completely crushed by the heaviness in my heart... by the pounding of the surf."

" If our world were only filled with perfect shells, we would miss some of life's most important lessons along the way. We would never learn from adversity... from pain... from sorrow. Thank you Lord for all that I learn from my brokenness... for the courage it takes to live with my pain... and for the strength it takes to remain on the shore."

"Broken shells mean lots of tears... lots of pain... lots of struggle... but they are also valuable for teaching faith, courage, and strength. Broken shells inspire others and demonstrate the will to go on in a way that no perfect shell could ever do. Broken shells are shells that have been tested... and tried... and hurt... yet they don't quit. they continue to be. Thank you Lord, for the great strength it takes to simply be.. even when I hurt so deeply that there seems to be nothing left of me."

"As I look at my beautiful broken shell, I see that it has nothing to hide. It doesn't pretend to be perfect or whole... its brokenness is clear for everyone to see. Lord, may I be strong enough to show my pain and brokenness like this shell. May I give myself permission to hurt...to cry...to be human. May I have the courage to risk sharing my feelings with others so that I may receive support and encouragement along the way."

Anyway, it's a beautiful book that encourages and speaks to my heart and will hopefully speak to my friend when I see her tomorrow at Bible Study. It also has painted illustration of the ocean and beach- very soothing.


So I'm depressed, but I'm NOT despairing.

2 Corinthians 4:7-10 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. "

Monday, January 28, 2008

All is well.


All is well. We're home now. The hospital was a WONDERFUL experience. I could not have had a kinder nurse and a mid-wife from my practice was there. I felt so cared for. They were glad I came in and encouraged me to come in or call at anytime with questions or concerns. My body is mildly contracting which is not comfortable but they are NOT progressive contractions. I am not dilated or effaced. My cervix is firm, closed and shut! Praise God.

They were able to detect both babies heartbeats on the monitor and we had fun watching them on ultrasound just kicking and hanging out. They were moving so much it even got the nurse and mid-wife laughing.

There are a couple things that could be triggering the contractions. Endo-muscular skeletal stuff. The babies could be destroying my pelvic area (causing pain)... or a urinary tract infection (UTI). Did anyone know that a UTI can trigger contractions? I sure didn't... but I'm taking them a little more seriously now. They recommended a pregnancy belt to help support the weight of my growing womb. They also said I might need chiropractic care (and physical therapy).

Yet, all is well. So I guess truly we can be anxious for nothing :)

Thank you for your prayers and care. I am so grateful the boys are well and I am too. I'm at home enjoying a cup of tea. Samuel has his 6 month therapy evaluation in about 5 minutes. Thank the Lord for the simple and mundane things...

Blessings.

Jennifer

Be anxious for nothing.

I just wanted everyone to know that I'm on the way to the hospital. I need to find out what's going on with my body. I've been having some abdominal pain since Sat. night and MILD but persistent contractions. We're hoping it's not significant and that they will send me home but I don't know what's going to happen right now. We'll be in labor and delivery E.R. at Chestnut Hill hospital up here in PA. Please pray for me if you think of it. I also need to prepare to get the kids places.

I am just trying to remind myself to be anxious for nothing right now.

Hope to write soon and say all is well. sorry we couldn't call.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

He lights my fire...


this morning was a bit more eventful than I expected. We woke up (normal) and were enjoying the day. We decided to skip the earlier church service and go to the later one... so I went back to bed. Samuel and I were both napping when all of a sudden in my dream I hear this weird noise. But it's part of the dream... and then I realize, no, this is a real sound. I woke up and the alarm is going off and the lights are flashing.

My darling husband was making breakfast for me. Instead of the griddle he was using the pan to make "eggs in the nest" and things got a little smoky. Thankfully I had enough time to throw on clothes and gather the kids to me BEFORE the firemen showed up. UP they came, several of them. They opened a couple more windows and I talked with them and explained what had happened. Libby was really excited about the fire-men. she was all dressed up in a princess costume and they were really sweet and kind to her. I was very thankful that Libby had a field trip earlier this year and so knew not to be frightened of firemen. Samuel wanted to hold the ax of one of the fire-men so he helped Samuel "hold" it.

Needless to say I told Mike to take me out to breakfast instead of trying to make it himself. And just so you know he usually makes a mean "egg in the nest".

Man, he knows how to light my fire... :)

Friday, January 25, 2008

Perfectionism.... why it's bad.


Dear friends,

In case you're still getting to know me and haven't discovered this awful tendency of mine... I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist. Does this mean I have an orderly home? no. Does this mean I have the perfect figure? no. Does this mean I have the best trained children? no. What it means is simply this... my heart CRAVES control. I want things to be perfect. I want to be the best I can be. Sometimes I feel like a G.I. Joe- Be all that you can be... But God in His mercy does not allow me to have things the way I want them. Why, you might ask? Because, if I did, I wouldn't need Him. Well, of course I would still need Him, but I wouldn't know it.

In watching my daughter Libby I so often see my own heart. She is extremely tender and sensitive and aware of when she messes up. I have to be careful in my tone of voice and how how I say what I say to her. If she knocks something over I need to be careful to not over re-act because she takes it into her heart. She gets upset when she doesn't do something right the first time.

At school yesterday they learned a really cool way to put their coats on. They lie their coats on the floor upside down, the hood closest to their feet. they put their arms in and "flip" the coat over them and it's on. It's really cute. Well, when she tried it today she did it backwards and freaked out and started crying and ran into my room to hide.

yesterday she accidentally knocked her brother over. When I asked her to come back and apologize she was freaking out. I told her I knew it was an accident but I wanted her to help her brother up and hug him and tell him she's sorry for bumping him.

this is so me, in miniature. Upset when I didn't do what i wanted to do or when I accidentally do what I don't want to do. Why didn't I send out any Christmas cards this year?! Why isn't my home in perfect condition with a place for everything, and everything in its place? Why didn't I write them a letter or a thank you card? Why didn't I call so and so? And these are things that don't even have to be done... just stuff I'd like to do. But what about when I make a real mistake.... or worse, what about when I sin? I love what Paul has to say about doing what I don't want to do Romans 7: 15-25 lays it out like this:

15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.




I tend to cling to my failures and imperfections instead of clinging to God's victories in my life and the grace He is extending to me. He's not waiting around to try and beat me up and say, "ha ha, you're so dumb. You messed up again." or even "ooops, look who fell?" Instead He's waiting with open arms to help me up and encourage me. Would I ever make fun of my son when he was unable to walk? No! I would encourage Him and hold my hands out to him. If he fell I would pick him up and give him kisses and tell him what a good try it was.

I really had my life planned out. I was going to get my Bachelor degree. I was going to have a career and maybe even own my own home. I was going to get married at 27 and have my first baby at 29. Boy, did I have some plans. But my life is not my own. God in His loving kindness had different plans for me. Like getting married at 23 and having my first baby at 24...and my second baby at 25. And now two more children probably when I'm still 27. Um, God I was planning on being married at 27, not having four kids.

But what a beautiful and wonderful thing that I wouldn't change.

God has given me some things I never thought I would bear. I never imagined losing Libby & Sam (my sister and nephew). I never imagined having a sick child who had special needs.

He also given me things I didn't know how much I would need... a wonderful husband and precious children, earlier than I thought I would have. I don't have my Bachelor's degree but I have experienced 4 years of college and I had the opportunities to travel to Australia, East Timor, China, Sweden, France, England, Denmark. I also am thankful that He doesn't allow me to boast in my accomplishments that I would have seen as important. I wanted a degree so that I had something to boast in. Don't get me wrong, I am all for college education. Heck, I am helping my husband get his master's. I am just saying for me it's something that at the time I'm glad He stripped me of. I think at some point I will finish my Bachelor's.

My faithful God has stripped me of my sufficiency. He has taken away my ability to do things in my own strength. He has made me desperate for Him. I had found in a journal an entry I had written before my sister died asking God to do whatever it takes to make me dependent on Him. To strip me of the things I would cling to and the accomplishments I could call my own. He has done that. He has broken me so that He can use me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says that, "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

What I am not saying is that God had to do "bad things" so that I would see my need for Him. He didn't take my sister's life so that I would be dependent on Him. He is using those bad things and making good come from them. do you see the difference? My God is not evil. Yes, evil things happen, but they are not from Him. He does allow things though that at times I don't understand. He has been showing me again and again that my definition of good can not be based on what I think of as goodness. He is goodness.

I am tempted to place a certain amount of trust if I see a certain result. God I will say you are good, IF you keep my children healthy and alive. God I will say you are good, IF these babies don't come pre-term. No, He is good in spite of whatever happens. the conditions I want to place on Him are ridiculous. They reveal my willingness to trust Him when things are "good" or "easy" but not when the challenges come. Then I want to turn from Him. God how can you be good when this or that bad thing happens? But He is good.

I feel like I've mentioned these verses a million times throughout my blog but I love them and will repeat them now because I feel like ten is my life verse. It starts with what I have already stated 2 Corinthians 12:9 but its verse 10 I'm wanting to state for myself:

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

(notice though he says content with, not thrilled about, but content with.)

During Women's Bible Study on Wednesday I was struggling with something the speaker said because it spoke to me so personally. She was talking about Scripture Alone, Grace Alone, and Faith Alone. She was saying how easy it was for the Sanhedrin (Pharisees & I believe Sadducees) to want to add tradition and rules to Scripture. They were making up things that God didn't even intend for them to be law. She was saying how God is after their hearts.

He is after my heart. He isn't worried about if my house is perfect or if my to-do list is done. He is more concerned about my heart. He isn't worried if I did fun crafts with my kids or if I made gourmet meals or if the laundry is done. He isn't worried about my appearance. He is after my heart. He knows that it is in my heart is where the true things lie... Out of the heart the mouth speaks... and Jesus says that what defiles us. It comes from the heart. So true. It's easier for me to want to make up laws and rules and things that I think God desires instead of examining and dealing with my heart. I want to work on my appearance so I will eat right or exercise... but God knows when I'm turning to food for comfort or using it for nourishment. He knows when my house is clean so that I can boast in myself.

He also knows that my son is screaming that I should fetch him from his nap instead of concluding this lovely little post. So, um, think on that for a bit... all you perfectionists out there :)

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Relaxation.




How to have the perfect bath.

1.) Epsom Salts


2.) Aveeno stress relief foaming bath

3.) Candles


4.) Music


5.) Pumice Stone and Nail Brush



6.) Sleeping Children


7.) A good book.


8.) Chocolate.




Baths have been one of the true comforts this pregnancy. there is nothing like submerging in the bubbles and reading a good book till I feel drowsy. Such a calming thing. I love the Aveeno Stress Relief Foaming Bath product. It has lavender, chamomile, and ylang-ylang. So relaxing.

Lately though, I haven't been very relaxed. I've been tired and cranky and chasing toddlers and saying the word "NO" at least a hundred times a day. Samuel is climbing on top of everything. I have to watch him like a hawk. He's napping at the moment so I think I might attempt a nap myself if Libby will let me.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

born 2 be wild!


How many boys do you see in this picture?

I see 3!

We found out today that we have some more little men on the way. Actually our first view of them was that they were punching each other. Through the course of the ultrasound we saw waving, tap-dancing, Baby A patting Baby B on the head, and them trying to entangle their legs. Baby A definitely wants all the attention and will squish his little brother to get it! Yes, boys, this means a lot more testosterone... and probably some boys who are going to eat us out of house and home when they're teens! My mom used to threaten me that I would have a lot of boys, especially when I was unkind to my brother Christopher. Looks like it's happening :)

I am excited and very overwhelmed. Samuel has been into EVERYTHING lately and so I'm kind of scared at the prospect of having two more boys... can we say double trouble?! Well, I guess Libby will be copying me soon with putting her hands on her hips and shouting, "BOYS!" She already goes around saying that she is a "little mommy". In her world Samuel is the "papa" and baby bear is "SaNuel" as she calls him and dolly is "Libby girl". Looks like she'll soon be bossing around her tribe. I can see it now :)

Well, Mike asked me during the ultrasound if we were going to have more (he knows I want Libby to have a sister)... I just grinned and said, "Yep!" But we're planning on waiting a while.

So our house will be a little crazy but fun. I mean if my in-laws raised 3 wonderful men so can we, right? And those boys turned out to be amazing and wonderful gentlemen... and the oldest is totally hot! (I'm talking about my honey!)

Now, if only we can come up with names for these boys... we have a lot of thinking to do!

By the way, we're taking name suggestions. Do you have any?

Monday, January 21, 2008

Kickin' it.


I love feeling the babies move. It has been many weeks of feeling fluttery type movement but it's only been recently I've been feeling good kicks. I love rubbing my tummy and feeling them respond. They are so precious to me.

Tomorrow is the big day- I am so excited to find out the twin's genders. Mike is taking the whole afternoon off to be with me. I am looking forward to some time alone with him.

Can I just brag on my husband a little... He is the BEST! I don't know what I would do without his patient love and care for me. Mike is great at caring for the kids. He gets up with them at night. He gets up in the morning and gets them breakfast. He is quick to help me change diapers, get them dressed, get us to church (or wherever we're going). He's wonderful about carrying groceries into the apartment. He's fantastic at doing dishes and picking up. He does the laundry. He makes meals. He is super man. I am so in love with him. He is my best friend with benefits :)

A lot of people look at us like when we're crazy when we're out as a family. They can tell the kids are young and I'm pregnant. I don't think I'm crazy because Mike is such a wonderful father and a husband. He is a team player and I don't feel like I'm facing this alone.

I'm not really excited about being apart at the end of my pregnancy, BUT I am grateful that he is willing to travel back on the week-ends. He really lays down his life for me and the kids. Okay, I'm crying just typing this. I just want Mike to know he's the best, because he is.

I am so excited about what our life will be like with 2 additions. Excited. Overwhelmed. And at times seriously freaked out. Yet, I know God has given me someone who will wonderfully stand by me and support me and not just hold my hand but get involved.

I've been in love with this man over 5 years and it just keeps getting better and sweeter. There is no one else in the world I would rather be with.

I am so thankful to God for the good gifts in my life. The blessing of an amazing husband, my dear children and now these two new little lives. Whenever I see babies I get all crazy and achy inside and can't believe i will have two new little ones joining us in several months. I can't wait to hold them and kiss them and call them by name. I can't wait for Libby and Samuel to enjoy being an older sibling.

I'm 20 weeks pregnant today. Yay. I'm half way there.

The Things They Say...


Yesterday, while Libby was working on being potty-trained. she said some funny stuff. She asks for the "paper toilet" when she's all done. She was excited when she put some of her peeps in the potty. she looked up at me and said, "Mommy, I twinkled!"

At home group we take turns rotating who watches the kids (there are a lot of kids in our group). During my shift one of the boys who is no more than 5 or 6 asked me where my babies were. I pointed to my tummy and told him they were still in there. He looked aghast, "Did you eat them?" I couldn't help but laugh.

Our original plan for the day was to go to the zoo... but seeing as it "feels" like it's 6 degrees out we're passing on that and taking the kids to the mall to ride the carousel... Libby is so excited! She can't wait to go to "Pennsylvania" (that's what she thinks the mall is called.

Oh the things they say...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Post-poning.


Okay, this is really, really, really ridiculous. I am avoiding the one thing I am supposed to be doing right now... which is working on an article that is due, um, tomorrow. What am I doing instead you might ask? Well, let me tell you. Checking every blog known to mankind and following people's links to links to links. Checking my e-mail... just in case. Coming up with other things that I "need" to do. Thinking about making a root beer float and soaking in the tub. The kids are in bed. Mike is out having some time to himself. There are no true distractions and here I sit posting on my blog because well, I'm post-poning.

Truth is I have writer's block. Can I whip up a meaningful article? I don't know. I actually wrote it already but it's really, really bad and needs some serious help and well, I don't know how to help it. I'm wondering if I should scrap the whole thing and write something from the heart. Ashleigh, if you're reading this.. I am sorry. I'm really pathetic at the moment I know :)

Well, maybe a soak in the tub will provide some necessary inspiration... and some ice-cream...

It's Time to Announce...


Okay, most of you are aware of this but we're finally saying what's going on....

We're (kids and I) moving during Mike's spring break down to VA. His spring break is from the 15-24th of March. So some time during the week we're heading out. Mike will be traveling back on the week-ends and his school term ends May 15th. After he finishes this semester he has two more classes in the fall and he will commute back up to Philly for a couple days each week. Obviously if the twins come before he's finished with this semester this will also change things.

It wasn't until we found out that we're having twins that we realized that there might be a need to move back to VA. I will be in a place where I will need some serious help considering that I will be on bed-rest, might have potential hospitalization, chance of C-section, etc. With two toddlers it's hard to rest, so having family and friends and people from the church around us will be a huge blessing during this time.

My heart is filled with a lot of different emotions. Excited to move back and yet a little apprehensive. Way excited about having a bigger home. Some friends of ours are renting out a 3 bedroom HOUSE to us! I am very excited to be in a place with more space and I find the home charming :) I am also sad to be leaving our friends from PA behind. I have come to love some people up here and have been so thankful for their support, encouragement, and friendship I have received. I am looking forward to re-establishing friendships back in VA.

So, I have to pack up here and unpack there. Our insurance needs to be switched. There's a lot to do. Please be praying for us... and if you're interested in helping out- please let me know! I will take ALL the help I can get!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

New Look.


A new day. A new look. I thought it was time to update my blog a little. I've been throwing up again but I think it might be more pregnancy related than sick related. Libby and I have been hanging out on the bed while Samuel naps. Here's a picture for you. Unfortunately, I can't remember the last time I washed my hair...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Tulips for Libby.


My day was okay today. I had Bible Study and the kids did well and both really enjoyed themselves. After lunch we all took a nap and I woke before the other two giving me sometime to eat a snack and think. The kids and I went out and ran some errands and then came the first trigger.

We walked into the grocery store and Libby pointed out the flowers and there they were....tulips. I took a quick breath in. It's that time of year again. When the tulips come out in the store it's the first sign to me that I'm getting closer to March.

Later as we were driving past a cemetery Libby asked one of her most frequently asked questions, "What are those?" I told her they were gravestones. I couldn't say any more about or explain what they were. Thankfully she didn't ask she just repeated, "Gravestones." A tear leaked out.

We went to Trader Joe's and their tulips were $4.99 and I couldn't resist. I picked up some beautiful white tulips and smiled.

I had made a deal with myself about a month ago. Everytime I want to buy flowers for my sister I will buy them for myself or for someone else. She's not enjoying them at her grave site...she's in Heaven with Jesus. I think she would want others to enjoy them, in fact I know she would.

So today I bought some tulips for Libby.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Snow.


The snow is falling so beautifully. Large, thick snowflakes. Tiny delicate ones. They keep floating or flying by the window. covering the ground with innocent white powder and landing on the tree branches coating them with winter beauty. I am loving it. I'm sitting in bed watching the snow and about to have some hot cocoa...

I'm praying it snows all day and night and that maybe Mike won't have work tomorrow and we can take the kids out in the snow and then snuggle in our big bed and watch a movie as a family.

Right now the world seems enchanting.

And then it happened..........

A friend called so I left Samuel on the bed watching cars to grab the phone. She was bringing dinner tonight. And as I'm on the phone I hear a loud CRASH!!!!!!!!!!

Samuel had knocked over my bedside table. The hot chocolate went flying. The coke went flying. The water went flying. It crashed into my bedroom door and was all over the carpet, my container of earplugs, the Maalox bottle. He broke my watch. Etc. You get the picture.

I was a wee bit frustrated. Okay, a lot bit frustrated. I was cleaning it up when I went into the living room and found Samuel with an empty container in his hand. He had opened pico de gallo (salsa) and had it all over the floor. There were 5 containers of it. He had gotten to number two. I started cleaning that up. Libby starts crying. She had fallen asleep during Cars (the movie) and was just waking up and freaking out.

Well, a side note, a friend of mine had sent me a Trader Joe's gift card and I had decided to treat myself to something special. I had bought myself a little box of chocolates. I have never bought myself a box of chocolates before and this was something of a luxury. So back to the story.

I'm holding Libby and hearing a plastic sound on the floor. Well, Samuel did have a plastic box in his hand and I assumed that was it. NO! He had gotten into my chocolates... they were all over the floor and ground into the carpet. As if this wasn't enough as I'm cleaning that up. I hear a splash. He had gotten into the toilet. He was dunking one of his toys in the toilet.

Needless to say I was in tears by the time Mike got home. What a day.

It stopped snowing a while ago and I think the enchantment broke then.

I wish it would snow again.

This day.


Sniffly. Sniffle. Sniffle.

I ab a colb. Translation: I have a cold.
Bobby is sick. Translation: Mommy is sick.

I'm sitting in bed drinking orange juice. I've cleaned up throw up twice today. Just as Libby was putting on her jacket to go to school and her ride called to say she was on her way Libby told me. "Mommy, my cough-er's comin'" This means she is about to throw up. I grab a bowl.

Today I feel a mite bit cursed. Last night I was feeling a little too happy. Our bedroom is in order. Meaning the bedroom. Meaning the closet in our bedroom and our dressers and our bookshelves. And under the bed. Everything. It looks great.

I thought today would be great. But it's been lousy. It teaches me that I tend to place my hope in certain things and not in God. Like I thought if my room was clean everything would be okay. My life would be perfect. The truth is that whatever it is we think is enough...it's not. We finally lose that weight. We finally get the new house or new car or great job. So we think we will be happy and life will be great. But its' not and we're not. Why? Because God is the only source of contentment. He is the One who is more than enough. And if I am putting my hope in something else, it won't be enough. It never is. So rejoice over those "finally" things but recognize... its happiness won't last. You'll want more. The great thing about God is He is enough and we want more... but it's a good thing... because He truly satisfies. He is lasting. He fulfills.

So now that I'm done preaching (primarily to myself)... I"m going to put on Veggie Tales and blow my nose....and maybe try and pray or something beneficial.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Large as a Barge!


I had to do this. I needed you all to see a picture of why I'm so tired and feeling so LARGE!!!! Okay, I'm 19 weeks today. I went to my dear friend and editor's blog (Ashleigh) and saw her cute pregnancy pic and thought. Ha, if I was only half that cute! Instead I want to show you why I'm feeling MONDO!

I know there's two in there but good grief, right!

Keep on running.


I think if you were to look up perserverance in the dictionary it would say something about one being persistent in caring for and cleaning up your kids after they get sick. Libby threw up all over our bed this morning...again. Needless to say the washing machine has been our best friend as of late.

Actually Perservance according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary means: the action or condition or an instance of persevering : steadfastness.

The Bible talks about perservance in this way.

Galatians 6:9 says, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

2 Thessalonians 3:13 says, "As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good."

I know Winston Churchill was talking about something else when he said, "Never, ever give up!" But right now I'm taking those words as encouragement for the moment.

But I do feel weary. Right about now I'd like to be transported to an island and just sit in the sun or should I say sleep in the sun. The troubles don't melt away that easy though. this is life. This is part of the daily grind. I am thankful for the encouaragment I have received from those around me via phone, e-mail, etc. God has blessed me richly in giving me people that care.

My caregroup leader brought us soup and orange juice last night. His wife Lise is coming over for 2 hours today and in her words be my personal "slave". The question is where to start...laundry? Kitchen? Bedroom? Some packing? Questions to ponder.

At times I've felt like life is more than I can bear. I know it's not true but I needed to be reminded again this morning.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, " No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

So enduring and perservering. That's where I'm at.

Hebrews 12: 1-3 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."

Sunday, January 13, 2008

More bugs.


Last night at 3 a.m. Libby walked into the room saying, "I swallowed" which meant she threw up. She preceeded to throw up four more times over the next several hours. Mike got up and started washing her pajamas, her bedding, our bedding, etc. She and I got into the bathtub (she didn't want to be in it alone) and I washed her hair.

Today she threw up some more. I let Libby & Mike take a nap and Samuel and I went out to do errands this afternoon. Our last errand was in the grocery store. I picked up the last item and then it happened. Samuel threw up all over himself, the cart, and the food in the cart. After much cleaning up (including buying paper towels we didn't need except for that moment) we came home... I walked in to find Libby having just finished throwing up on the carpet.

Needless to say I've been a bit queasy. Mike is under the weather. Tomorrow he has work from 8- 6. I just feel close to my wit's end.

The cutest thing that happened though is when I prayed for Libby I asked Jesus to heal her of her stomach bug. Later on when she's throwing up in the bowl she looks up at me and says, "Mommy. Where's the bug?" Well, it made me laugh.

Pray for us. We've really had a rough go of it lately!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Our wee little adventure.


Well, I guess doing "nothing" doesn't work well in our house :)

Libby and I went out this morning and gave the boys a rest. We went to Starbucks & then to Target for sippy cups. It was a great morning. We came back to get Mike and Samuel and were off to Chick-fil-A...well, we could only make it through the drive-thru, eat in the car, and get into the movie theater to reserve seats...good thing we did...it ended up getting full quick.

I prayed through the previews that there would be nothing too scary and the movie commenced. 20 minutes later we had to leave. Samuel wanted to climb around on the stairs, not stay in our laps and Libby was begging to go home. It wasn't that the movie was bad but I think it was loud and not very "Veggie Tale-ish"...a little more mature than a 3 year old and almost 2 year old could handle.

So we got our money back and headed to ColdStone to celebrate our family day. Libby and I got in line and Mike and Samuel snatched a table. Samuel then proceeded to throw up everything he's had in the past week all over the floor, chair, and himself. We didn't stay long. Just long enough to clean up and order some ice-cream to go for libby and I to share.

So I guess there's no since of trying to do something "normal" yet. Even a movie turns into an adventure for us. Mike's washing Samuel clothes and I'm getting ready for some friends that are coming over for dinner. Maybe I should get out of my black shirt with throw-up on the sleeve...I think it's a little too modern :)

We Don't Do Anything!


Today is a very special day in our household. We are taking the kids to see their first movie in the theaters. We are seeing the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything (Veggie Tales movie). They are so excited and Libby has been dragging around a magazine that has the ad for the movie in it. She doesn't get the concept though that we have to wait and see it in the theater.

We had decided for Samuel's birthday (which isn't until Feb. 16th) to see this movie but realized that they decided to release the movie earlier than expected. The tickets are purchased already and I am eagerly waiting to see what they're going to think. Did I mention we're also having lunch at Chick-fil-A. This is going to be a super-fun family day.

After being sick and Samuel being sick and Libby having a fever last week-end and Mike being a little under the weather I think this will be a fun respite.

Hope your Saturday has some joy in it.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The Bug.


Yesterday I woke up vomiting. This is a horrible thing. I had spent the night restless and nauseous but could make myself fall back asleep before I threw up. I was horribly and violently ill yesterday. The kind of ill that even getting to watch movies or reading a book isn't even pleasurable- that bad. Mike stayed home from work to care for the kids and his extremely DEMANDING wife. He really is the best. Patient. Quick to serve. He even bought me some Hostess Chocolate Cupcakes to coax my body into wellness...not that I can eat one yet, but it was a really sweet thought. He and Libby went out and bought soup, gingerale, saltine crackers, etc. Libby came in as I was hovering over the toilet with some red roses "for MAMA!" They're in my bedroom.

Well, today I don't feel like death warmed over but my tummy is very, very raw and I still feel a bit crappy.

Psalms 63: 5-8 says,
"My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me."

Thankfully He is truly in control of all these things. Whether sick or well I can sing for joy. Samuel's been throwing up since last night...we think he caught the bug. Hopefully we'll all be back on the mend soon.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Survival Mode.


Dear friends,

In case you're wondering why I haven't commented on your blog... I have been reading your blogs but have no energy to comment...or maybe it's that I have nothing whitty to say. And if you don't have anything whitty to say, then don't say anything at all.


Several people as of late have spoken to me (& Mike) about survival mode. They say this is the mode we're in and that it's going to increase with the twins. I understand that things are going to be tough. I understand that I might have weeks (or months) where I cry at least once a day. But does that mean I can't have joy too? Does this mean I am destined to depression, blues and anxiety?


I keep coming to the Scripture: Romans 8:31-39


31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


How does this play out in my life? How do I not give into condemnation? How do I control the few things I actually can- like my attitude and perspective? How do I jut let go and laugh? Because frankly my dears, if this was happening to someone else it could be pretty dang funny! Maybe all the irony, maybe all the drama, or maybe because sometimes my life can sound so unreal.


I'm reading several books I'm enjoying right now: Till We Have Faces (C.S. Lewis)- always a favorite, The Orient Express by Graham Greene, The Wal-Mart Effect, The Good News About Injustice, The Omnivore's Dilemna, Deceptively Delicious, The You Manual: Staying Young, and some other good books that I can't remember off the top of my head...and yes I'm into them all. I'm waiting for some books from Amazon that are a kind of must read for me. Twinspiration and the Multiples Manual. I'm really excited to better prepare for the twins.


I'm fighting a lot of fear right now. I've been worried that the twins will die or something will seriously go wrong. I worry about pre-term labor and bed-rest. I worry about having preemies. I worry about going into labor without Mike. I worry about C-sections and such. And you know what? This worrying doesn't do me ANY good! I know it too. It's one of those things I feel like I daily have to give to the Lord. "Cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you" kind of thing (1 Peter 5:7). But it's hard because somehow I feel like I have more control if I hold onto these fears and worry. I know the Lord said worrying doesn't add one extra hour to my life... so why am I doing this?


Well, the kids are awake and I must get them ready and walk Libby to school...don't worry it takes less than 20 minutes to walk there :)


Hope that you are more than conquerors today... and if you are, can you spread your secret?


Clinging to Jesus!

Monday, January 07, 2008

No exercise for you!


The verdict is in. The doctor said no, absolutely no exercise. Not even light walking for 20 minutes or pre-natal pilates. It was one of those questions I wanted to ask about. So I did. Which is good. I just thought I would have a little longer to exercise. Earlier I thought it was somewhat crazy...now I'm not so sure!


I am EXHAUSTED like all of a sudden every bit of energy has been evaropated from my body. I just want to lay in bed and have someone take care of me, and um, I'm only 18 weeks pregnant. In this moment I am tempted to fear and wonder how the heck am I going to make it... right now I can't look at next month or even next week or even tomorrow... I'm literally thinking okay, I cna make it through this moment. And in less than 45 minutes Mike should be home- Praise Jesus. I think my pregnancy has all of a sudden hit me with renewed force- the twins must be on a growth spurt or something...I am nauseous and weak and BLAH. I don't think I could get the kids out of the house right now if our lives depended on it... okay maybe then.


My friend Sonya had to literally drive me and the kids home today. She watched the kids for me while I was at the OBGYN and when I got back, I couldn't even drive! Is this normal? Is this because I forgot to take my pre-natals today or am I just in a whole new level of pregnant phase.


It's a work-out just for me to get up the stairs by myself... add two kids and a diaper bag and I feel like I am in a triathalon.


I better go, Libby is freaking out and Samuel is instigating trouble. I hope to God I'm in bed soon. When did being pregnant get so hard?

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Quick trip.


Yesterday we went to Fairfax to see my friend Kelsey. Mike had picked up some friends early that morning from the airport and then came back to the house. We all got ready, stopped at Starbucks for some caffeine and headed off on our 3 hour tour.


it was a great day. Mike was really gracious to let me have some one-on-one time with Kels. I just enjoyed getting to hang out with my friend and hear what's going on with her and play catch-up.


The trip back it started raining but thankfully the traffic wasn't too bad. Mike and I witnessed a horrific accident that happened right in front of us. A really fast car all of a sudden seemed to cross all 4 lanes of traffic and spin out of control. I have no idea how no other car was hit. It was very sobering to watch and I must confess my adrenaline was pumping and I had a hard time relaxing after that. I hate car accidents. It always brings up my sister. The thought even occurred to me that if we were that car I would probably have lost the babies (in my womb)... if not worse. Some things can seem so random to me. I know God is sovereign but I don't know why things happen or don't happen at different times. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that we are safe, I just don't know what kept that from being us.


Today Libby woke up with a fever so we didn't go to church. Mike picked up pizza and we watched Roman Holiday (Audrey Hepburn/Gregory Peck) in bed. It's been a really chill day. I went out tonight and had some time with God... some time to think and reflect and pray. I also worked on an article for Ungrind. It's been a good day.


I'm tired so I'm going to turn in. I have an OBGYN appt. in the morning and I'm excited because Mike is going with me! The ultrasound appointment is on the 22nd...still 2 weeks away. Looking forward to a new day.

Friday, January 04, 2008

"F"- From Failure to Faithfulness.


There are some days where I feel like a big, fat failure. This would be one of those days. I feel I've been so impatient and angry...and I don't even know why. Even the smallest irritations have become large grievances in my mind. I felt I could hardly even handle today. I just wanted to turn in my "mommy badge" and lay on the bed and sleep. I wanted to quit. It's hard to be reminded in these moments that there is grace for this. Instead of grace I just want a baby-sitter. I laugh when I think that there are two more coming.

It didn't end like a bad day though. I cleaned the house for several hours. The kitchen is clean and the living room is manageable and the kids room is practically perfect. Samuel had therapy. Mike and I took the kids to IHOP. We received a gift card for Christmas and it was fun to get to talk with Mike and the kids enjoyed eating and were peaceful. We had a quick Target run and then headed home. Samuel had thrown up in the car so Mike's down in the basement doing a load of laundry. The kids are in bed and I get to have time with Mike.

So I guess all is not lost. I have been feeling so much sinus pressure and feeling lousy and have been on the brink of tears almost all day. But there's always tomorrow. Mike and I would take turns singing a high-pitched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer song that the Doe (is it Clara?) sings, "There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true..." We would cock our head back and forth in that claymation sort of way. Well, at least it makes me laugh.

The Lord is faithful to remind me that His mercies are new every morning. Lamentations 3: 22-26 says,

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.

So even for failures like me there is mercy. His faithfulness overshadows my failure. Thank the Lord.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

The Face Scratcher.


Samuel got me today. He got me good. Those tiny nails are so sharp! He clawed completely across my face and got the corner of my eye. Blah. What a day. It's bitter cold and I do NOT want to have to go out again. I took Mike to work and came home and fed the kids and got them dressed and dropped Libby off at school. Tiger boy leapt into action...he was so angry that I made him leave Libby's class... not that I really blame him. She has a toy castle in there and a train table and so many fun things to play with. That's where he got me.

Well, I'm practicing resting by eating popcorn and reading in bed... Dang, I just burnt my popcorn...Oh well, at least I have another hour and a half to rest and there's more popcorn to cook, this time without burning it :) Should I come up with a cool story of what happened... anybody got one?

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Heat & Reheat...blah, blah, blah


This morning was peaceful. I awoke to my husband attending the kids before he headed out to work. He bought me an extra precious hour of rest- thank you Mike! I spent an hour and a half chatting with my dear friend Kelsey. She was supposed to be visiting this week but is taking care of her grandmother who has been having serious health problems. I am glad Kelsey is choosing to serve but must confess my disappointment that I don't get to have her around. She's a joy to be with.

Anyway, about this morning. I was on the phone with Kelsey and managed to make myself a cup of tea. This tea, this one cup, has been heated and reheated throughout the day. I start doing dishes and it gets cold so I reheat. I am reading Libby from her favorite children's Bible, reheat again. I get Samuel up and feed him... reheat. Oh this poor cup of tea that longed to be drunk in one sitting has faced multiple rooms and tasks and the microwave again and again. But why you might ask do I relish this? I have been without a microwave for a while and just got it from VA to PA. It is a luxury to be able heat and reheat.

So while still on the phone with Kelsey Libby informs me that Samuel is "standing up". I go casually to check out the scene. Samuel is up in the window sill! He managed to climb up into the wagon onto Libby's eating chair and put himself on the window sill ledge... it's a wide ledge because it covers the radiator... but still! What a monkey!

In recounting the story to Mike he tells me about when he was a child of 4 and the frisbee went on the roof and he went up and got it....Oh my goodness... He's doing it now as I type! Samuel climbed on a box, to get onto a chair, to get on the table! I'm going to have to watch him! He's acting like his father! Did I mention Mike had a broken arm as a young child.... scary!

Well, also while I was talking to Kelsey I learned a new habit of mine... well, it's actually an old habit but it's something I wasn't aware of saying so much. Libby took the phone to talk to Kelsey and in a manner of minutes had tried to describe the past month to her barely stopping for breath... and then she said it, "blah, blah, blah" I had to laugh... I do say that. I just didn't realized how often. Oops.

I had to cancel with my OBGYN this morning. the brakes in the car were having some kind of trouble. We got home safely but Mike didn't want to risk me going out... not to mention I could have gotten trapped in a car with two toddlers and no other way to get home if the brakes acted up... that would be scary too! So the car is in the shop... hopefully it will come back soon so we can get groceries. I really should take a picture of my fridge... other than condiments it has some eggs, cheese, and well, that's about it! Maybe we'll go for a family walk and get some groceries later... when Mike's home to help me.

Our neighbor came over with a beautiful snowman mug and in the mug is a blooming paper white (narcissus bulb)... these are my favorite bulbs. I mean yes, I love tulips for my sister's sake but paper whites are my personal favorite. They're lovely to watch bloom.

Samuel and Libby did great on the trip home yesterday and traffic was a breeze. What a blessing. We got in around 9:30 and then proceeded to put the kids to bed and unpack a little. The house is covered in bags of clean clothes and Christmas presents. I've been practicing resting which is my latest assignment from Mike. It's been great, except the house looks, um, trashed a bit. The problem is when you have small children just because I leave things a certain way doesn't mean they stay that way. So when I do nothing things get worse... because the kids do a LOT... it's just not very helpful! I am amazed at how much I need to clean up already... well, the joy of training kids.

Well, everyone is fed and dressed. I know what I'm making for dinner. Thai curry chicken and cous-cous. Oh, and I will probably get to see Kels afterall. She's in Fairfax with her grandparents and we plan to drive down on Saturday to visit her and to see our friend Bob & Suzy's new baby if they're around. It's looking like a busy season for us.... a lot of trips and traveling. We hope to go down at the end of the month and bring a lot of excess stuff to VA. And in Feb. Mike and I will be going to marriage retreat over Valentine's Day week-end! I am pumped! The retreat is in Williamsburg and I look forward to some down time with him... it will probably be the last "away" time before the twins come.

Well, Samuel is pulling out all the Bounce dryer sheets, one-by-one. I better go hop to it. Just a filler on my day, and well, you know, blah, blah, blah. Did I mention I just finished my tea?