Tuesday, December 26, 2006
One of my favorite traditions during Christmas is baking cookies with my grandmother. My grandmother does the hard part and makes the dough ahead of time and I come over and roll out the dough and use the cookie cutters. Trees, stars,angels, gingerbread men, etc. It's wonderful. This was Samuel's first year, so it was fun to have him around although he slept most of the time.
Libby was asleep for the most part as well. When she was awake she helped me frost a cookie or two but she was more interested in having a tea party. She poured the "tea" all by herself and sipped daintily from the cup. What fun!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Okay, I'm being silly. I have been hesitant to post anything because I love adding pictures to my stories. I'm getting obsessed with pictures. This post doesn't require a picture so here I go. I just enrolled for classes with the Global College of Natural Medicine. I am working towards their Nutritional Consultant Program. I have 12 months to complete the program. Wow. I'm a student again. How fun and scary. I look forward to learning more about nutrition and preventitive medicine. I kind of wanted to have my act together before I started, you know practice what you preach sort of thing... oh well, I'm just jumping in and learning and applying as I go. So here I jump.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
This is Samuel and his friend Rhys. Wouldn't it be nice to be young again. To be spread on a big blanket and be left to play with toys and talk to friends. I so enjoy the rich friendships in my life. They're intense and satisfying full of deep flavor like a good cup of coffee or a great piece of chocolate. Oh happy day... let's go lie on a blanket, stare at the ceiling and talk.
Thanks be to God who gives us clean water. To remove slimy Lucky Charms from under chins, and gooey fingers covered in yogurt. Samuel screams during bath time. But Libby loves it. She loves to play with her foam letters and her rubby ducky. She loves saying her letters. She loves being wrapped in a big fluffy towel. Just a small part of a long day.
We all have funny idols. Okay, maybe we don't think they're funny. There are a lot of things that consume us... that try to take our attention and passion from God. For some it's t.v., or leisure. Maybe it's music or movies or having to be right. For my two year old daughter it's band-aids. She's addicted. She is hooked on her strawberry shortcake bandaids. It all started with "mommy" getting an "owie" on her finger. All of a sudden (magically) Libby had an owie on her finger too. Well, bandaid to the rescue. It's been downhill from there. She wants them on her arms, her fingers, and hands. Mike was going CRAZY and finally said, "Libby's idol is bandaids!" I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my seat. It sounds ridiculous. I wonder if that's what we look like to God. We yell for our "bandaids", when he offers the real deal. So don't sell out friends. Cling to Jesus. Turn to Him to meet your needs.
One of my favorite traditions during Christmas is baking cookies with my grandmother. My grandmother does the hard part and makes the dough ahead of time and I come over and roll out the dough and use the cookie cutters. Trees, stars,angels, gingerbread men, etc. It's wonderful. This was Samuel's first year, so it was fun to have him around although he slept most of the time. Libby was asleep for the most part as well. When she was awake she helped me frost a cookie or two but she was more interested in having a tea party. She poured the "tea" all by herself and sipped daintily from the cup. What fun!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tomorrow is the 7th. My sister's birthday. She would have been 24. I feel so low. Sometimes I'm afraid the next breath won't come like it will just stay stuck in my chest. But I keep breathing. I know I will see her again... someday. Sometimes heaven feels so far away. Like I'll never get there. I know that it will be here before I know it. Until then I just keep living, breathing one painful breath at a time. I miss seeing her face. her smile. Hearing her laugh. Listening to her strum her guitar. I can still hear her voice in my head telling me what to do. And they say older sisters are bossy?! younger sisters are much worse. So tomorrow what will I do? I keep trying to find something that will give tomorrow meaning. Often I find myself desiring to binge eat or watch meaningless movies or go shopping, anything to distract me from the pain, anything that will keep me from getting comfort from the only one who can give it. God is the only one who can heal my wounds. He is the only one who knows me truly. My heart inside and out. I hope I can turn to Him instead of the artificial idols that I set up. I wish I had friends with me. I feel alone. Mike has his first exam tomorrow. it's weird being in a new city without people I know. Oh well, those from back home, please think of me and pray for me if you think of it. Your call is appreciated.