Showing posts from May, 2011
I'm on a date with Libby so I will keep this short. Samuel's been in pain a lot the past two days. It kind of makes life intense and stressful. You tend to lose patience really quickly because you're so frustrated you can't do anything... and you're helpless... and the healthy kids have needs too :)

Libby has a wiggly tooth. One of her front teeth. She's excited and looking forward to a visit from the tooth fairy.

Samuel keeps saying that "The bad guys are punching my tummy."

I've been thinking about writing about contentment... post will come eventually on that. So right now I should get back to my little girl and enjoying her!

Birthday Blues

My birthday is in almost a week. I don't know why but I'm kind of dreading it. Somehow it seems to sneak up on me but this year it feels even more so. I'm a planner and I get really anxious about dates. That's goofy huh? What do I mean?

I'm the kind of girl that likes to celebrate her anniversary on the actual date of her anniversary and valentines on valentines day. So my birthday is kind of the same thing... it's like I have to do everything I've ever wanted to do on my actual birthday. It's quite exhausting actually... and also embarrasing to confess.

Now truth be told I have gotten better. I need to give myself a little credit. I've learned to relax and unwind and spread out the joy and fun for more than just a day. I'm good about waiting til the week-ends or a better time to celebrate if the "real" day doesn't work.

I guess part of it is it's kind of like a coupon that you can only use for one day. It's the "I can …
Do you have life figured out? I don't.

It's crazy how complex and simple, hard and easy, weird and normal it is. So full of sin and redemption. Full of joy and pain.

Right now I'm exhausted and rambling. rambling. rambling. Maybe it's because it's after midnight. Maybe it's the dark chocolate reeses cup kicking in. Maybe it's because I have spent the past few hours philosophizing with my husband. And maybe it's the perfect time to write.

There are no inhibitions.... no bars held. Wait is that even the right expression? I don't know. That's the dangerous thing my Mom used to tell me... She'd say midnight is like having two alcoholic beverages and every hour after was like having an additional drink. She's right. She is talking about how you lose your guard and because you're tired you share more than you should. That's not good. I don't want to share more than I should... but I do want to share honestly.

So here goes. Honestly...…
In a recent e-mail to a dear friend I wrote the following...

"I feel guilty. I feel like I should be happy but I'm not. I'm sad. I'm so grateful for everyone showing up Saturday. For the generous hearts of those around us. For the multitude of people who served. I am very thankful. But right now my heart is sad. I feel a little overwhelmed and lonely. I know God is near me. I know I have friends who love me and a husband who is precious and crazy about me and children that are wild but very dear.... and yet, I am reminded that I need to be filled with God's love. Only He can truly satisfy the needs and desires of my heart.

And even if my house is clean and the dishes are done and the laundry is done. And even if the car is working, clean, and full of gas. And even if my children, are clean, fed, and well-behaved. And even if my husband is romantic and passionate and serving me. And even if I were to own the house I live in and have the right furniture and cutlery a…


Overwhelmed. Overwhelmed & grateful.

We were so blessed this Saturday by the outpouring of love, generosity and support at Samuel's Barbecue Benefit.

It was wonderful to see so many faces we know and also to meet people for the first time who have been praying for us and loving on us without having even met us. So many people volunteered to serve.

The food was delicious, the music was fun and lively, the kids had a ball. Between their faces getting painted, running from bounce house to bounce house, eating cake and then more cake, and dancing up a storm, I don't think we could have made a better day happen.

The joy and excitement on their faces was beautiful to behold.

Team Napier went out in style. We each wore a different color shirt expressing who we were on the front along with our relation to Samuel.... but also expressing "Team Napier" on the back.

Did I take a picture? Not a one. I was having too much fun. BUT for those of you who did take pictures please pass…

Barbie & Ken: The Break-Up and Getting Back Together.

Okay, so apparently there was this dumb thing where Barbie and Ken broke up... and I remember thinking, that is just so wrong. They wanted Barbie to be "single & independent" blah, blah, blah. Silly I know, here's the info. below.

Libby was able to purchase this set of dolls. We had some credit and this was her choice. She wanted me to take pictures of them.

Entertainment weekly said the following this past Valentine's Day. I don't really care about them but they explain the break-up, etc.

One of America’s most epic romances is back on: Mattel is announcing today (Feb. 14, 2011) that, after shocking the world with their break-up in 2004 and rekindling their love on the set of last year’s blockbuster Toy Story 3, Barbie and Ken have decided to give love another chance after seven years apart. The pair’s plastic love is red-hot once again, just in time for the most romantic of holidays, Valentine’s Day. Yesterday, Barbie hinted that something might be in the works…

Being Together.

Hanging out in the hospital is something we do as a family. It can be a little crazy logistically at times but we love being together as much as we can. This is from our last 5 day stay back in March. It makes me smile to see their little faces... they were watching a movie.

Team Samuel/Team Napier...

The kids are at school... well, they're on their way to school. The washer and dryer are humming with their second loads of laundry. Peter's in a diaper playing on the bed. And me? I just finished the most delicious whole-wheat scones. (Thank you Jessica!) I don't understand how they could be "healthy" and taste THAT good! :)

I got less than 4 hours of sleep last night. I'm trying to put my mind on auto pilot because I'm clearly not thinking too clearly. Um, wow, case in point. I bought t-shirts to embellish for Samuel's Benefit on Saturday. I want people to know who Samuel is and his family. His shirt will say, "Hi, I'm Samuel" and his siblings will say "Hi, I'm Libby (Samuel's sister)" etc. What I'm trying to figure out is what I write on the back "Team Napier" or "Team Samuel"? This Benefit is for Samuel but I know the rest of us are his support team and we're a family.... so maybe I'll…

Don't Forget!

Samuel's Benefit

Saturday, May 14th from 12-6 p.m.

Hickory Ruritan Club
2752 S. Battlefield Blvd
Chesapeake, VA 23322

You can purchase tickets at the door or through our friend who is heading up this event Debbie Billips at

You can also contact her if you want to bake something for the bake sale or donate to the silent auction.

We hope to see you there. This will be a fun event... I can't wait to take pics of the kids. There will be face painting, bounce house, music, a firetruck, bake sale and silent auction.

I'm excited for Samuel to see how many people love and care about him!
I'm a fan of Jon Acuff (Stuff Christians Like). One of his recent blog posts struck a huge chord with me.

It's entitled "Miserable God." Read the full post here.

This post resonates with me deeply. I am so caught up in the midst of trial and suffering that sometimes I think it's the only way God works. I forget that He is a good Loving God who is also joyful... and desires good things for me... I mean, come on, how can I forget his plans are good for me with verses like Jeremiah 29:11.

This is what got to me specifically:

"Why can’t I teach you in the midst of joy? In what better way could I reveal the heart of who I am, goodness, then in the midst of something good? You believe I can only teach you in the midst of great hardship and hurt. But failure is not my only laboratory. Does not a father learn something profound about my miraculous goodness when he holds his newborn baby for the first time after delivery? Does not a bride not see my glory when she walks…
So, here I am eating banana nut cheerios. They're really good. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the last time i posted and think of what needs updating on. I'm covered in some kind of bug bite.... fleas, mosquito, chigger, spider? I don't know. But they itch and hurt like mad.

Yesterday I was at the clinic with Samuel and he was watching movie previews. One came on with this band... kids singing and drumming, etc. Samuel turns to me and says, "Mom, I wish I could be a rocket star." I loved it. Today he told me while jumping up and down on me that he wants to be a cowboy.

Samuel's been having a lot of headaches recently. In fact he asked me to get a cloth and get it wet and put it on his head to help his "Heck-aches" as he calls them. Poor babe.

Ian has been telling everyone that he has a big head. I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. He has then proceeded to tell me, my Mom, and our friend Kelli, that we have big heads. So if he tells yo…