Showing posts from 2016


Thankful to see how God is using us for something bigger than ourselves. Thankful that He is taking our story and transforming it from death, illness, loss and suffering to one that reflects the beauty of God. Redemption is at work. The process is happening. When I look at these two pictures of Samuel I can't help but be amazed that God has not left us where we were... that He is taking us through life and through the struggles and creating in us a strength and compassion that allows us to love and serve others. We were made for more... Another C.S. Lewis quote I love comes to mind:  "If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”

Life with Boys

I never knew this life would be so full of wonder, and noise and confusion and loud. I never how much I would be tumbled upon and above and under. swinging of arms and legs. ninja chops. Ducking blows. Hanging on my arms around my elbows.

I never knew how my heart would be so full. Of tender whispers. And deafening yells. Cries of indignation. and joy. Noises of all kinds. Burps... and "bottom burps" and all sorts of disgusting noises that I can't put into words. Shouts of triumph. Laughter over flatulence. Silly jokes. Boisterous cacophony.

Wiping tears. Wiping bottoms. Scraped knees. Paper cuts. Splinters. First Aid kit... in the car, at home, in my purse. Doctor's office. X-ray. Splint. Referral to specialist.

Eyes eager to please. Flash of anger. Spark of Curiosity.  Quick obedience or reluctant dragging of feet.

In my washing machine and dryer I find rocks, and pebbles. Sand. Legos.
On the floor is dirt and dust and cereal along with a plethora of pieces of ran…

Peter- 6 years!

Six years ago I gave birth to my 5th baby. Samuel, age 4, was getting treatment for cancer at the neighboring children's hospital. The twins were 2 and Libby had just turned 6. I was technically on "bedrest" due to prior early term labor issues.

Peter was ushered on to the scene November 7th and brought tremendous joy. In the midst of deep trial and heartache hear came this lump of love. It was a reminder of God's tremendous love for us... and a cause for hope.

I am so thankful to God for each child that I have been given. And I'm thankful that His timing is perfect. That He knows what we need for each moment. And He knew that Peter was needed for such a time as this.

I still remember nursing Peter on the bed and holding a puke bucket for Samuel to throw up in. I was holding new life in my arms and sitting next to a child who was incredibly sick, for all purposes dying.

I still marvel at the miracles God has done in Samuel. I'm amazed that he is alive and th…

The Heavens Declare the Glory of God

“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.” (Psalm 19:1-4)

“Ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” (Job 12:7-10)
“Praise the Lord from the heavens, praise him in the heights above. Praise him, all his angels, praise him, all his heavenly hosts. Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars. Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for he commanded and they were created. He set them…

Beware the white whale...

"'Whosoever of ye raises me a white-headed whale with a wrinkled brow and a crooked jaw; whosoever of ye raises me that white-headed whale, with three holes punctured in his starboard fluke- look you, whosoever of ye raises me that same white whale, he shall have this gold ounce, my boys!'" ~ Moby Dick

Lyrics of my Life.

Settle down. Gather round children. Come to the table and color as we listen to words spoken aloud. Words that transport us to another place, another space, another time. And as they calm, poking the play-doh with toothpicks and making impressions with loose change; here a nickel, there a penny, the words saturate in their brains, the images coming to life. Each one's head filled with a different picture. 
I gather and sigh and breathe.  I pick up my skein and knitting needles and lose myself in the story. Greek and Roman gods. Mythology from a time long past. From a culture whose echoes reverberate into the present. 
The dishes sit in the sink. The laundry complains. It's mountainous avalanche threatening to cascade. But the muffins were delicious and the butter melted on them while they were still warm. 
The sticky faces and dirty hands abscond out the back door until this evenings bath calls to them. Serenading them sweetly with the promises of bubbles and splashing and pre…

Cancer and our friend Coleson

I had the honor and privilege of attending camp at Joni and Friends this summer in North Carolina. It was an amazing time that was a tremendous respite and refreshment for our family. One of the highlights for us was getting to know our short term missionaries who served as one-on-one assistants for Michael and Samuel. What was so special is that they are brothers! And in fact their Mom and other brother was at camp.

Cade and Coleson spent so much time with Michael and Samuel. I was so amazed to see these boys so selflessly give of themselves. And not only did they care for the kids that had special needs but they played and helped us with all of our fabulous 5.

One of the things that struck me was the special bond I could see between Cade and Coleson. You see  as a young child Coleson was diagnosed with Diamond Blackfan Anemia (“DBA”). DBA is a rare inherited bone marrow failure syndrome, characterized by a failure of the bone marrow (the center of the bone where blood cells are made…

Change and Transformation

I have been loving this new season of my life: traveling all over the country, engaging in training, growing mentally and physically stronger and gaining new perspective on life.

This year I have been to Missouri, flown to LA and driven to Phoenix, seen the Grand Canyon, gone to the ocean numerous times, experienced almost two weeks in Nashville, trips taking me to North Carolina and the western part of VA, and a special time in the mountains of N.C. at camp with my family and I just got back a couple weeks ago from my travels to Florida. 
The word God gave me at the beginning of this year has been abundance! To look at our circumstances you would think it would be anything but... and yet this truly has been a year of exceeding abundance for me. I have seen God provide time and time again. He makes a way when there was no way.  
Our circumstances would have you think that we lack options and choices but the new vision God has given me allows me to see these situations as opportunities…


I love my life.

It's at times intense, overwhelming, and challenging, but never boring but I love it. It's full but I love what I do. I love being a mom to 5 brilliant, bright, beautiful and bold babes! I love teaching them at home. I love getting to meet new people. I love growing healthier. I love learning new things. I love writing. And I'm loving my home-based business!

It's been a long time I feel like I could say I love my life. It's been hard for a long time... and in many ways that hardness hasn't changed. We still deal with special needs. We still are managing trying finances, we still live in a house where there are too many bugs, a broken dishwasher, a half working dryer, a leak in Libby's ceiling and the car is in the auto shop... We still have brokenness and disagreements. I still face grief every day with the loss of my sister and nephew.... with the loss of what my life would have been. Mike travels for work and is gone a lot and then there…

A Happy, Healthy Birthday Wish!

I love that as a community we can work together to help change lives. Instead of looking the other way and dismissing people's needs we can accomplish so much more by linking arms and blessing those around us.

I know what it is to be in need. Walking through the loss of my sister and nephew,  Samuel's cancer, Michael's special needs. I know what it is to struggle financially and to struggle with my health. Juice Plus+ has been a tool that has produced so much change in my life and the life of my family.

I want to help gift my friend, Cheryl, who has been having chronic and serious medical and health issues for over a decade.

I'm eager to help her by jumpstarting her with nutrition! Would you be willing to give $5 or $10 to help her have a healthy and happy Birthday?! You can make a donation below.


I'm having a FB
party to give people the opportunity to learn more about JuicePlus+ and what concentrated fruits and vegetables can do you for your immune syste…

Fighting Sugar Dragons and the Demon Called Cancer.

I started this morning on a sugar binge... chocolate chip cookie dough and sweet tea! What the hell was wrong with me?! I've been eating great. I've lost 28 pounds. I have all this momentum and today I start by self-destructing... It took me a few minutes of praying and asking God what is going on with me????

And then I realized. I was jumping into old habits. Emotional intensity leads to sugar bingeing for me. I was eating my emotions and stress. I couldn't let go of the tension so I thought I could eat my way through it. I stopped.

I drank a glass of water and flooded my body with the nutrients of over 30 fruits and vegetables. I made myself a Complete Smoothie and I paused to thank God for opening my eyes and stopping my destructive patterns.

Yesterday was an intense day for me. Samuel had been complaining of pain for the past 4 days. In his hip socket area and in his groin. Way too close to where his primary cancer site was. Monday Mike took him in for a lump on his fo…

What's Still Broken...

You can clean your room and organize so that everything is in it's place. You can work hard and be productive, meeting goals that you've set. You can eat well and be disciplined and lose weight and trim up... and it feels great.

But it doesn't fix the brokenness of this world.

I want it to be all better now. I want my heart to no longer hurt and ache because of my shortcomings and failings and my sins and the effects of others sins. I want things to be good now.

But even when you do the best you can. Even when you've righted as much as you can. Even when you've reconciled. Things will not be as they ought to be. And as much as you work to satisfy your longings, goals, desires, it will never TRULY satisfy.

Only Jesus. Give me Jesus.

He's the Only ONE! The only one who can satisfy. The only who can meet my needs. And He's what my heart longs for. I long to be with him on the other side. Here I know in part. Then I will see in full.

We are all waiting for the …

Protection. Provision. Prosperity.

New Year's Eve the suburban was shaking and stuttering. It felt like the front left wheel was about to come off. Mike was gone on a business trip and I had five kids in the car just having purchased Libby's ballet ensemble. We were on our way to my parents to wish my Dad a happy birthday when we decided we couldn't make it that far.

Pulling into a Fireston station, I went in and quickly asked for help.

They were kind enough to squeeze us in when we shouldn't have been able to be seen and were caring about the safety of the kids in our vehicle.

2 bars of the suspension were broken. The manager showed me how the tire could completely wobble and shake on the car. We needed at least 2 bald tires replaced.

And yet God provided for our almost $1,000 repairs. And the guy threw an extra tire (on the house) because there was still one tire that he didn't feel good about and he wanted to be sure we were safe.

At this point it's well after 3:30 p.m. and my kids hadn't…