Showing posts from 2013

Good intentions: Apply Inside.

Yesterday was a day full of good intentions.

My kids were all dressed in their Christmas best. My hubby was working it in his awesome jacket and tie. I was dressed in purple sequined bling tank overlayed with a light weight, tasteful black top. Heck, I even wore make-up.

We were going to do it. We were going to be there on time. We were going to church.

And then we weren't. I had this horrible emotional break-down. Kids were going beserk. I hadn't eaten breakfast. And things just sort of spiraled from there.

Mike tried to give me a break and told me to meet him after church. But then I couldn't get the vehicle I was driving to turn off properly and he had to come rescue me. And so no one was at the service.

And this has been life. Trying so hard to do what we set out to do and missing completely.

I'm the one with the "brilliant" idea the day before to take our family out to Norfolk and hit our favorite spot, the book exchange, on top of the necessary errands …

Boy Surprises

Yesterday, Peter was crying and clutching his butt. I looked down his diaper to see what the problem was. Pink princess ice pack. Ian had arranged this surprise in Peter's diaper.  I never thought I would hear myself saying, "Don't put icepacks on your brother's butt!"

Putting Out Fires...

It's 1 p.m and I still haven't gotten around to eating today. What with packing lunches and stuffing my kids with breakfast and lunch it felt like I must have surely eaten something. Nope. Just a double pack of emergen-c.

Last night Peter finally learned how to turn on the stove. There was a cardboard pizza box on the stove and it caught on fire. The downstairs filled with smoke and my grandmother told the kids to quickly go upstairs and get Papa. He went down. I was napping but woke up quickly with bile burning my throat from the smoke.

Mike opened the windows and aired out the house. The cardboard box went outside in the rain. I cleaned up the burners.

It was as I was telling my Mom this morning, "that I felt as though I'm constantly putting out fires..." that I realized the irony of it and started laughing.

This morning Ian brokea framed picture when trying to retrieve his backpack. Glass all over the floor. Michael went to school with 2 mismatched shoes (an ov…

Missing her.

My husband told me something I needed to hear. I didn't need to try to hold on so hard. I'm trying so hard to not forget. He told me to not worry that I would never be able to forget someone so important and altering to my life. My life without her. I don't have to try so hard.

There is a part of me that clings and desperately won't let go of my sister. Her memory. I'm afraid of losing her. I'm afraid of forgetting.

Mike told me that I'm not responsible for maintaining her existence. My memory isn't what keeps her alive. Her life is with Christ. The Lord sustains her being. She continues on. Not dead. But alive with Christ. In His perfect presence. Free of all sin, sadness, pain, sickness, hatred, and all the devastating affects of sin.

I don't need to be afraid of people forgetting or not remembering.

Tomorrow would have been my sister, Libby Anne's, 31st birthday. I can't believe it. The last birthday I celebrated with her was her 21st. I h…

How to Sanitize with Sick Kiddos...

I know you've been hearing me talk a lot about Melaleuca. I've been using their products for over 2 months now and I love them. They're safe and effective. No harsh chemicals or toxins. Good for the environment and save me money!

One of the things I've learned with having kids with special needs (cancer, cerebral palsy, asthma) is that I have to try and keep things disinfected to the best of my ability. In comes my new product from Melaleuca Sol-U-Guard Botanical! I love how Melaleuca concentrates their formulas allowing you to create the mixture at home. I can make several bottles and not have to pay the cost of water added to the cleaner like you do with so many other cleaning products!

Getting run-down? Boost your immune system!

I have always been a fan of emergen-c. It's always a boost when I'm feeling run down, beginning to get sick or just surrounded by sick kiddos. Can't wait to place my next order with Melaleuca. They have  Activate-C which is more than just vitamin C!

As Melaleuca states on its website :

Activate is a natural blend of the ingredients you need most to help boost your immunity. This powerful supplement includes: Vitamin C— long linked to boosting immunity, this nutrient stimulates the production and function of white blood cells, and protects them from oxidation*Zinc— a mineral crucial to white blood cell development* powered by Oligo for maximum absorption and antioxidant protectionVitamin E (alpha-tocopherol)—powerful antioxidant that increases antibody formationAstragalus—one of the most extensively researched ancient Chinese herbs that helps strengthen the immune system and acts as an immunostimulant*Aronia melanocarpa (black chokeberry)—powerful antioxidant that helps regu…

What's in Your Vitamin?

Are you taking one a day or centrum? Do you miss taking your vitamins because you can't tell a difference when you're not taking them? It's because you're body isn't equipped to absorb the nutrients. Centrum or one a day absorb less than 10%.  Even one of my favorite brands, Shaklee only absorbs 23%! With my vitamins at Melaleuca my body is absorbing 85% of the nutrients. That's nutrition that I can feel! Why? Because it's using Oligo. (O-lee-go)

I mentioned in my past post that I am currently taking Melaleuca'sVitality 4 essentials for women which contains four patented or proprietary formulas for

1.)Energy and well-being 2.)Bone Health 3.)Antioxidant Protection- 4.)Digestive Health
This is what that is included: 30 AM & 30 PM packets with the following: You want to know more?
vitality multivitamin and mineral-24 essential nutrients to enhance well-being, with patented Oligo technology, scientifically proven to deliver maximum mineral absorption and an…

Why I love Melaleuca...

Recently I found a new way to shop. It’s through a wellness company called Melaleuca (Mell-ah-Luke-ah)It saves me time and money, and offers products that are safer and healthier for my family. I have found cleaning supplies that are free of harsh and toxic chemicals at a fraction of the price.
E.G. One bottle of concentrated MelaPower tub & tile for$5.60 makes 6 spray bottles of cleaner.
But it’s not just cleaning supplies, I LOVE their vitamins. They give me real energy. Maybe that’s because my body absorbs 85% of the vitamin (compared to less than 10% with a Centrum or 1 a day). I don’t feel buzzed or jittery just awake and able to function. Last month everyone got sick and I didn’t. Hm, maybe it’s because I was taking the vitamins? 
This month Mike started on them as well. He’s taking the men’s Vitality 4.
If you're wondering, hey, why are you sick now??? It's because I went 2 weeks without my vitamins. I'm telling you- they make a difference! What's funny is Mike&…

Strep throat anyone?

So, Ian has strep throat and I believe I do as well. Michael and Samuels asthmas has flared and they seem to have strep throat as well. Peter has an ear infection. Another round of antibiotics for all. Craziness.

Waited an hour and a half at Target for prescriptions that would never get through the system. Took the boys home. Literally it was 3 hours later before they had received the scripts!

Thankfully I  had made a huge batch of broth from our turkey this past Thanksgiving. Soup is simmering in the crockpot and cornbread is baking in the oven.

Feel lousy but thankful God is still with me in the midst of this. Feeling like I'm in the trenches today.

Please pray for Michael

In the past few days Michael has had an increased difficulty with breathing. His asthma has kicked into hyperdrive. We've been vigilant about giving him his inhaler and keeping an eye on him. I realized it's been a while since we've had this bad of an asthma flare up. Hoping to keep things under control and keep him out of the hospital. Please pray for his lungs to strengthen and the wheeze to dissipate. Our plan is to go to church as normal. Hoping he will continue to improve!

A letter on Thanksgiving to my Daughter

I don’t often like to include my personal notes/letters in my blog. But when I wrote this letter this morning I felt Holy Spirit inspired. It made me wonder if the truths of what were written would bless someone else. I hope that person might be you. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Asking God to richly bless you in unexpected ways. So thankful for our Savior today and always.

“My Dear Libby,
Happy Thanksgiving! I am so thankful for you! I missed you so much when I was in CA. It is my hope that someday we will all go as a family and explore the west coast together! There are many beautiful places to explore.
I know that you think having 5 kids is crazy and some days it is a bit wild but I wouldn’t give up having the five of you for ANY THING!
I hope to grow as a Mommy in loving you and your brothers better. I am still learning how to be a parent. I don’t have it all figured out but God is faithful! He loves you perfectly. He never messes up. He is NOT angry or disappointed with you! He…


Took Samuel to the doctors today. The amoxicillin didn't kick whatever he'd been fighting. He has bronchitis and so now he's on zithromax. Keeping him home again tomorrow to rest!
In the mean time I need to come up with a solution to a travel glitch. My phone ended up in the washing machine and is ruined. And I'm traveling across country. Yeesh. I know this matter will be resolved. Trusting God with all the big and little details of this trip. 
Already made spaghetti meat sauce and cooked up a batch of ground beef for Tacos. trying to leave things well attended on this end. Broke down and got lunchables for the kids for Friday, Monday and Tuesday. 
Ian complained of his ankle hurting. Hoping it's not serious. If so back to the doctors again in the morning!

California... here I come...

The joy of solitude is not something i often get to experience. My life is often Loud, Noisy, Abrupt, Interrupting, Chaotic, Messy, Sticky, Inconvenient, and full, full, full of needs.  I love my life. I really do. But it's kind of crazy sometimes. Sometimes I get worn out. I get tired. I am stretched and feel like it  can't fit anything more in.

But I'm about to have some time to myself. Real time. Not just a few hours or an afternoon. Not even a whole week-end or a long week-end. But a deliciously long time. It's the longest I've been apart from my family... pretty much that I can ever think of.

I leave Thursday afternoon and fly to L.A. I'm taking a trip with one of my dearest people in the world, Kelsey, and we are going to explore Northern California. I am so excited, tickled, ecstatic, giddy. This is such a gift. An unexpected, unplanned, unprepared for gift.

I fly back Tuesday via San Francisco. I won't get in til after midnight so technically Wed. a…

Why I'm never bored...

Last week had been full of days of disaster. From broken glass (4 items broken in under a 24 hour period, including at porcelain penguin at Target) to spilled Kefir (an entire yogurt bottle) dumped all over the counter and the floor... and then sprinkled with a box of Rice Krispies.

Peter is coming into his own element.

Today I made up a new container of cinnamon sugar. this is a favorite for my kids and my Grandmother. They love cinnamon toatst and I also add it to their unsweetened applesauce. So I made up a new batch and was proud of myself.

I had a meeting at my dining room table with someone who helps oversee Michael's medical care and during that time Peter dumped out 2/3 of my cinnamon sugar bottle all over the kitchen floor and into the mat.

yes, this just keeps happening.

From candy littering the floor with tootsie pops opened, licked, and left on the floor everywhere to stickers, coloring all over items on toys and books, from pencils, crayons & markers . To chocolat…

3 year olds, tantrum riots, citizen of the month, and what not to bring into school...

Today has been crazy.
It's Peter's 3rd birthday.
And my little world decided to implode on me.

I woke up horribly. I had a dream that I was shot in the chest and I could feel the life ebbing out of me. I was trying to tell my husband I was dying and that I love him. It was so intense. I felt I haven't been able to shake this dream off.

I woke up with a start and had overslept big time and had 15 minutes to get ready and get in the car and take the boys to Libby's citizen of the month award ceremony. We got there with time to spare but it was raining and the boys kept jumping in puddles and Peter kept running away from me.

I had planned to take the kids out after the ceremony for breakfast. Mike had work so I knew he wouldn't be there to help me. I was hoping my in-laws would but they aren't well so they weren't there. My Mom came but had to leave right after to help with my Grandmother (her Mom). So I had 4 kids solo and decided instead of breakfasting at a…

The View Behind...

One of my favorite parts of my day is taking the twins to the bus. They have a tradition on most days of getting out of the car and playing at the end of the driveway. I let them play behind the car so that they are not near the road. They think they're playing without me interfering. What they fail to notice is that I can see everything going on just by looking at my side mirror. Yes, I'm keeping tabs. They love the rocks and sticks and leaves and any other outdoor piece of nature they can get their hands on. Their poor teachers probably wonder why they're grubby every day. It's because I let them play before they go to school... which means sometimes they have dirt on their pants, shirts and faces!

Don't follow your Heart... VOTE.

I was trapped in the dentist chair. Fortunately there was a tv directly in front of me. Unfortunately, it was a bombardment of smear campaign ads. Each politician smearing their opponent, painting themselves to be the good guy and their opponent, the devil. I was overcome with disgust at the barrage of emotional plays that were being made. It wasn't facts. It was just angles portrayed in certain lights. Things taken out of context.

 But it works a lot of the time.

I find it interesting that there is still such a dominant message in this day of age that encourages us to follow our hearts. To listen to our hearts and go with whatever we FEEL. Ads like these are trying to make us feel a certain way and encourage us to act on those feelings, but, so often, our hearts can be deceived.

The idea of doing what feels good = doing the right thing is often a very wrong idea.

This can play out in many ways in our lives.
with justifying sin.
Well, it's okay, they really love each other, it …

Out of this world Party

Libby had been planning for almost a year on the kind of party she wanted for her 9th birthday. She has a huge love of science, specifically that of the solar system. I took NO pics on the day. Too busy orchestrating and getting things done. We made fun little acorn crafts and "ghost" lollipops. And the house was decorated pretty "out of this world" with planets and stars and streamers abounding. Fortunately, I have some great friends who take pics for me. Thanks Keri!

9 years old today.

Libby is 9 today. It's hard to believe how fast the years have gone. They have slipped by in a couple blinks. I remember it felt like yesterday that I was just holding her. Her dark intense eyes staring at me taking everything in. And she was just an hour old.

She's still taking everything in. She's smart, observant, thoughtful, kind, gentle, sweet and artistic. I love her so much and am so proud of the young lady God is shaping her into.

She's been through so much. Has had to face so much at a young age. Having brothers with special needs and laying down her life for them. Giving hugs and kisses and shedding tears. I love my daughter. She's my favorite girl in the whole wide world. I am so honored that God would let me be her Mommy. I am blessed because Libby Anne Hope is in my life. The girl that brought so much joy and so much hope!

Clear Scan.

We are thanking God that there is no cancer growing in Samuel's body. We had a long day of iv's, x-rays, CT scan, EKG and an echo. So tired. But thankful.

CT Scan and EKG tomorrow.

Tomorrow is october 22nd. Samuel and I as well as Mike and Libby are traveling to the Children's Hospital at o'dark hundred for Samuel's 4 month check up. CT scan coupled with EKG. Hoping to hear that there is no change.

tomorrow marks 2 years out. 2 years of no cancer growing. I am praying and hoping and expecting good things but there is still dread and anxiety in me. My stomach is in a knot and I have a headache. I know it's the stress talking.

Trying to be kind to myself today. This is when my self-critic comes out strong. I want to beat myself up for not being perfect or responding perfectly. I'm mad for PMSing and feeling crappy. I'm mad that I don't feel ecstatic about cleaning and organizing. Or eating well. Or whatever. Shut up self. Be nice to yourself. You wouldn't treat your friends like that!

Either I want to try to do everything and be as productive as possible so that I'm too distracted to think about what's coming or I go into shu…

Adventures with Cousin

"A Chick-a- lay" We go. Peter loves Chick-a-lay (chick-fil-a). I think one of the things that he loves more though is his cousin Madison. So when my Mom and I had the opportunity last week to take them to Chick-fil-A it was a double happy whammie for Peter. No pictures at the restaurant. This is the only time they were contained (carseats) long enough to get a picture!

Crockpot Mis-Adventures...

Some days are just simply a "crack up". No matter how hard I try to get things done. Things can just go against me. Last week I was using a rotissserie chicken in the crockpot to make broth for homemade chicken noodle soup. All of a sudden I heard a loud CRACK and pop and turned to see my broth spilling out of the crockpot and onto the counter and floor. The bottom of the pot came clean off! Crazy.

I was also making cookies and I reached to move the oatmeal and the lid popped off and spilled everywhere. Yep, it was just one of those days.

Mornings with Peter

I just have to say that I love Peter in his bedazzling outfits. he loves to wear his sister's backpack and thinks it's his magic ticket to board the bus. So when we take the twins to the bus on the backpack goes.  Oh yeah, we're styling... This was yesterday, in addition to the fashionable "editing" of Ian...

Clothes Redesigned...

Thank you Ian for deciding that Peter's shirt needed some re-vamping. I had no idea what you were capable of with scissors. Never underestimate a 5 year old with scissors. At least it wasn't a haircut....