Showing posts from November, 2010
I hate cancer. I really do. That is one thing I can safely say that I truly hate. I hate knowing that it's in my son's body. I hate being helpless to defeat it. I feel crippled and weak. I can't do anything except watch, wait, and pray. Samuel throws up so much.... all the time. It hurts to watch. It sickens one to hear it. How do you function normally around it? It becomes a part of the new normal. I'm sure it would overwhelm people the first time... and maybe subsequent times but when it's your day in/day out reality.... well, you just learn to live with it.

I hate that he has to get shots every night. They burn him. The shot isn't so bad... it's the injection itself... it burns going in.

His eyelashes are almost completely gone. It looks semi-comical to see a random grouping of long eyelashes. Samuel had eyelashes women would weep over. Gorgeous, long black thick eyelashes. They are now almost non-existent. His eyebrows are fading out as well.

My Dad recent…

Slideshow of Peter

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Samuel's home. He went to the clinic today and all looks well. We'll all be together for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Mike finished taking Samuel to CHKD... dropped Samuel off at our friends and picked up Michael. Michael has an appt. with the neurologist today.
Peter's been doing great. Growing well. Eating and sleeping well for the most part. Looking forward to enjoying holiday time. It's so fun with small children. I love it!
Hoping to get our Christmas tree this week-end. I've decided to put special ornaments on the tree on my sister's birthday (Dec. 7th). I usually get our tree on her birthday but this way we can enjoy our tree longer.... and it takes the stress off on the 7th.... it allows me to be or do whatever I want that day.
It almost feels like a comedy routine the way the house gets clean and then becomes so dirty so fast. I've organized and cleaned my room multiple times but it always is a process. I know all you moms out there know what I'm talki…
This is a very special blanket. It was my dad's baby blanket. I love that all my children have been wrapped in their grandpa's blanket.


This was Libby's special Oxford Onesie from a dear friend's mom who was living in England at the time. It's a favorite.
Mommy's Little Pumpkin.
One little, two little, three little turtles.
Ian loves Peter so much.

Sweet Boy.
Libby is in love with her baby brother....she even said that she's glad he's not a girl!
Samuel was supposed to come home today... and of course, he's not. He will (supposedly) come home tomorrow. This might not seem like a big deal but it can be so hard and disappointing when you're counting on something and it doesn't happen... and you repeat that process OVER and OVER again.
Mike was really discouraged. So I packed up the kids and we all went to them. I think it was good for everybody's hearts.
I've had a really hard time watching Samuel deteriorate. I feel like I'm looking at a cancer patient and not my son. His face is bloated. His head is bald. He's losing his eyebrows and eyelashes. It literally sickens me. But then we'll have a moment where he will lean towards me and say, "I love you Mama." And I remember that it is Samuel. A changed Samuel. But still my boy.
Trying to manage the chaos. But I am blessed. I have had a lot of support and help even when Mike has been gone. I feel a lot better than I have been. I'm tired...…
Mini post. Sbux closes in 5 min. No internet at home. Long story short. Doing well. Peter's doing great. Easy baby all in all. Very sweet. Great eater.
Samuels' been sick. His coloring is awful. Throwing up all the time. Supposed to have 5 day stay starting tomorrow at CHKD. Heart is breaking. Hate seeing him this way.
Please be praying for all of us. It is kind of crazy around here :)

Going Home!

Hey, we're going home today. All of us. Magically we've been able to wean him off his IV,his blood sugars have stabilized. He's had his pictures today. He will get circumcised and then we'll go home. They've already written the discharge orders. I'm so excited. I can't wait to be home and for us to be all together! Happy Day! Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers!


Today was a day of ups and downs. I'm very tired. My pain has significantly increased. I feel irritable, moody, and emotional. I think my hormones are out of whack coupled with having surgery and the effects of anesthesia. Peter is still having blood sugar issues.
The hospital blessed us with a celebration meal at lunch. A delicious cheeseburger and fries and a piece of coconut cake- it was quite good. I was definitely happy that I got to see and hold Peter today. I actually was able to nurse him twice. Once at 5 and then again at 8. I am going to see him in an hour for his next feed. I'm so happy he's learning how to nurse. In addition, his heart murmur has disappeared. Yay!
I just wish Peter was in the room with me. It's really painful and uncomfortable walking all the way to the special care nursery. It's also a reminder of all my past experiences there with Samuel and then with the twins. I want to be thankful and rejoice knowing that this too will pass. This isn…
Dear Friends and Family,

Well last night they said they would send me home in the morning but after talking a while with the doctor in the a.m. she felt it would be best to go ahead and do a c-section. It was a wait to make sure all the morphine had worn off. They then put the monitors back on. I was contracting every 3 minutes and intensely... yet still no change in my cervix.

So... we went ahead with the section. It was a total success and I felt fine! Praise God!

Peter Joel arrived at 2:41 p.m. today on November 7th. He is 19.8 inches long and 9 lbs, 4 oz. He's absolutely beautiful.

I have yet to hold him because he needed to go to the special care nursery. His blood sugar level is low and he has a heart murmur. I'm not concerned but am excited to be able to hold him soon (I hope).

He has gorgeous dark hair, chubby cheeks, and a beautiful round face. he looks like a doll!

Resting now. Only got 3 hours of sleep last night. Hoping to catch up before I start caring for our new littl…
Once again I find myself trying to sleep in a hospital. Surprise, surprise.

Having intense contractions again starting at 6 last night. I also felt like I was starting to leak fluid.

Went to the hospital to get checked out. Of course they saw my intense contractions but I am only 2-3 cm dilated and 60% effaced. Thankfully they offered me the option of pain management. So now I’m in bed writing. And I’m on morphine. What relief. The pain of these contractions is so real despite their lack of productivity.

I was again in the hospital last week from Monday to Tuesday. I had a good nurse and doctor and they validated the reality of my contractions. They even tried to let me “progress” on my own. I walked, squatted, did knee lifts, etc. to try to stimulate the contractions to become productive for two hours. Nothing.

Here’s the thing they can’t “help me along” by giving me potossin etc. It needs to happen naturally… and they won’t offer me a c-section until I’m 39 weeks. So for now I’m schedu…

The Waiting Game.

In case you've been wondering what's going on or where I've been I have two words: No Internet. Not having access to internet when you're on "bedrest" really stinks. So, enough said I will try to update you.

Samuel and I are still playing flip-flop hospital visits with Mike. Poor guy.

I'm having a lot of contractions but nothing productive... yet :)

I'm 37 weeks (as of yesterday). It's great to be full-term. Last Monday I had an ultrasound appointment. The technician had a really clear view and "accurate" measurements. It looks like Peter was 8 lbs, 13 oz. So, surprise, surprise... a big baby boy. We'll see how accurate it is when he's born.

I'll be honest... trying to attempt a VBAC doesn't sound like a great option to me if he's over 10 pounds. So, I'm thinking this week or forget it... I'll go c-section. I don't want my uterus to rupture... I don't want a broken pelvic bone. I don't want a baby st…