Saturday, November 20, 2010

Samuel was supposed to come home today... and of course, he's not. He will (supposedly) come home tomorrow. This might not seem like a big deal but it can be so hard and disappointing when you're counting on something and it doesn't happen... and you repeat that process OVER and OVER again.

Mike was really discouraged. So I packed up the kids and we all went to them. I think it was good for everybody's hearts.

I've had a really hard time watching Samuel deteriorate. I feel like I'm looking at a cancer patient and not my son. His face is bloated. His head is bald. He's losing his eyebrows and eyelashes. It literally sickens me. But then we'll have a moment where he will lean towards me and say, "I love you Mama." And I remember that it is Samuel. A changed Samuel. But still my boy.

Trying to manage the chaos. But I am blessed. I have had a lot of support and help even when Mike has been gone. I feel a lot better than I have been. I'm tired...of course :) BUT I am not in pain and feel more myself.

Peter has caught up with his weight! He gained 7 oz. in 7 days. The doctor is thrilled and I don't need to bring Peter back until his 2 months appointment.

I had all these deep and profound things to write and post about... but when it comes time to actually have a moment... it all slips away. So, there's a little update for now.

1 comment:

Ashleigh said...

Oh, Jennifer, this post made me tear up. Can't imagine having to do that as a Mommy. Praying for strength for you all.