Showing posts from June, 2013

A much needed respite.

Sometimes lovely things happen when you least expect it. Like when my husband recognized I was going bananas and realized that he needed to whisk me away THAT day instead of waiting til the week-end. We left in the evening last night and stayed at our favorite bed and breakfast, The Packhouse Inn in Edenton, NC. We enjoyed a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage, homestyle potatoes and toast with cups of coffee and fresh squeezed OJ.

The first thing I did when we arrived was take a long soothing bath. I read a mystery and enjoyed a brand new sugar scrub.

We fell asleep just after midnight and I awoke naturally in the morning to the sun streaming through the skylight and the warm glow from the yellow walls. I felt so much better. An uninterrupted night of sleep. No children coming in at one or two or three in the morning. No demands at 5 or 6 a.m. Yawn. Pure bliss.

After breakfast we sauntered over to our favorite coffee shop that used to be a book store too! Oh no, where did …

all a jumble.

I have been having mania at night lately. I'm unable to sleep because I'm too full of energy. I wish I could bottle up the energy and go to bed and then drink it up in the morning when I need it. I wake up drained and tired. I'm not having caffeine late in the day. I'm not doing anything unusual but I'm just up. I want to fix the world or at least my house or my bedroom or just me.

I'm agitated. Emotionally strung-out. Burnt out and exhausted. Maintaining the house and trying to keep things fun for the kids. We've been bowling. We've made home-made ice-cream. Banana chocolate chip muffins. We've played fun games and built forts and had movies and popcorn. We've had grilled cheese on rainy days and cocoa and s'mores. We've played with play dough and colored. They've gotten thoroughly hosed down outside and then they threw sand at each other. Eeek. We've so many fun things ahead of us as well. zoo. botanical gardens. more bowling ;…

Duck & Monkey

Rainy days have meant umbrellas, rain boots and of course good ol' rain jackets. The twins are wearing some of my favorite ones which unfortunately they are growing out of and won't be able to wear again.

Last Day of School Pics

Thursday was the last day of school! Wahoo. Summer here we come.

Donating Hair

I started donating my hair years ago... well, before Samuel ever had cancer.

It was something my sister had done and it made me feel connected with her. How wonderful to give something that would bless a child. I had thought I would wait until her birthday (dec. 7th) to donate my hair but when I sat in the hairdresser's chair I felt the time had come. I had the 10 inches of hair. So I went for it. I said cut it off and then do what you will with my hair! I think being back in the cancer clinic was enough for me to let go of my hair...

So, I found myself once again donating my hair to Locks of Love. So excited that once again I'm able to make two tails to donate instead of one.

irish dance

Libby's Dance recital was Saturday. She was beautiful. She did a great job performing Irish Dance! Here she is at rehearsal.

"I'm Persevering!"

Samuel was citizen of the month this past week. He was chosen for perseverance! I thought that was perfect given his CT scan this week! Samuel has kept going in spite of so many different life threatening issues over the course of his life. So grateful for this miracle boy of mine!

Don't you wan to just eat him up?


Long day at the hospital yesterday but we got great news. Samuel's scan was "clear". No cancer growing. So thankful.

CT Scans & the Significance of Saving Turtles.

Samuel has a CT scan. We leave in just ten minutes to make sure we make it to the Children's Hospital in a hour. My sleep hasn't been very good lately so don't be surprised to see me correlating my son's upcoming cancer check with saving turtles.

Turtles have always been significant for me growing up. My Dad taught me to love turtles with a fierce protective passion.

Recently I accidentally hit a turtle. I heard the crunch under the wheel. I had been driving on a curved road and I didn't realize until too late what was approaching. I felt sick. There's something for me that felt inhumane killing that turtle. Of course it was an accident but it hurt me in a way that it wouldn't have hurt if it was something I cared less about... say an opossum.

I remember being a small girl and driving with my Dad on a country road. He would pull the car over to the side and get out and help turtles cross the road. Here's the key. You have to take them to where they were…

Death, Life & Happy Pills

The plan was for me to go the dentist's yesterday. My Mom came in my room in the morning and I heard it in her voice before I even saw her face. "Jennifer?!" The anxiety, pain and grief in her voice alone told me... someone has died. Then I saw her face and it was complete confirmation. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her hair disheveled. Eyes red.

One of my Mom's dearest friends passed away. 

I spent the day with my Mom. She had a doctors appointment and then we had lunch. I loved hearing her stories about Marie. We also bought the last minute things needed for my grandmother's arrival.

Roger and Marie have been family friends of ours for a long time. I remember Roger coaching Libby's (my sister) soccer team. Marie has always been a beautiful woman. Gorgeous dark hair, glowing skin and a lovely smile. She and my mom bonded over nutrition and health tips. They both love exercising and healthy eating and living.

One of my first memories of them was going over to …

Surgery Thursday & other life events

Michael saw Dr. Kuhn yesterday and she concurred that he does indeed need surgery. He's been set up for this Thursday (the 6h). It should be quick and he will be outpatient. Praying that he recovers and heals quickly! Been a crazy time of him having pain. I feel terrible for the delayed reaction on this but it's hard to know how much has been psychological pain; he talks about wanting his g-tube back all the time, and the physical pain.

Libby turned in her science project today. Phew. What a relief. 6 pages to fill out and a diorama on top of it all (Cheetah's environment/habitat). Field day for twins on Friday and Ian's end-of-year party. Next week is 3 end of school year parties.a

Samuel was nominated citizen of the month but we have yet to receive the info and I think the award ceremony is Thursday... same day as Michael's surgery.

Dentist again for me tomorrow. Dentist for Samuel Friday.

I need to pick up medical supplies for Michael today and my medicine at Ta…

Girl Friends!

This past Saturday after Irish Dance I had the joy and pleasure of being with my new friend Keri and her daughter. Libby and Aileen had too much fun. We went yardsaling and then enjoyed a coffee/tea break at Cafe Moka. The girls were making up stories and singing funny songs. We took Aileen home with us and carried the good afternoon into the evening.

I am so blessed when Libby gets to have a playdate and girl time with a friend!The Lord provides her "sister" time when she needs it!

Third of a Century.

As my dear brother-in-law reminded me I'm turning a third of a century (33). Today is  my birthday. Hello June 3rd.

I always get a little rattled about my birthday. There's this element of wondering if people will remember... not really the date or my birthday but just me in general. Have people forgotten I'm here? Do they really care? It's very silly and horribly self-absorbed... but it's a confession of my heart. I want people to acknowledge me or just remember me.

And on this day I often feel like I have to take every moment and every advantage I can. I better suck it dry. This is all I get for 365 days... this one birthday I better make the most of it. Truly ridiculous, right? I  mean, there's birthday "week" and "month" after all. (wink)

But seriously, it's like the "7th"'s* in my life. I feel like I have a grace card for the day and I better punch it up before it expires. You have twenty-four hours of "anything g…

Losing Max.

I told her to name him Max.

       My sister and I were giggling and drinking Starbucks. We were discussing good potential boy names. I told her... "just think about it. Max Griswold. What a great, strong German name!" I didn't know this until after she died but she wrote on her baby calendar, "Auntie Jennifer calls you Max." And in my heart Samson Wells Griswold is still Max to me. He and my sister Libby went home to Jesus on March 7th, 2004.

 June 2, 2011 another Max was born. Max Alexander Ganzel. A Max that I desperately wanted to be an "Aunt" to. And although my dear friend Joy cradled her son's little body in her arms, Max was already in the presence of the Lord.

I've lost two Max's.

I don't know know what it is to lose a child. I have come very close to seeing my children slip from this world to the next... but thankfully they are still here. I have lost a nephew and a sister. And I've lost precious Max Alexander. I don't…