Monday, June 03, 2013

Third of a Century.

As my dear brother-in-law reminded me I'm turning a third of a century (33). Today is  my birthday. Hello June 3rd.

I always get a little rattled about my birthday. There's this element of wondering if people will remember... not really the date or my birthday but just me in general. Have people forgotten I'm here? Do they really care? It's very silly and horribly self-absorbed... but it's a confession of my heart. I want people to acknowledge me or just remember me.

And on this day I often feel like I have to take every moment and every advantage I can. I better suck it dry. This is all I get for 365 days... this one birthday I better make the most of it. Truly ridiculous, right? I  mean, there's birthday "week" and "month" after all. (wink)

But seriously, it's like the "7th"'s* in my life. I feel like I have a grace card for the day and I better punch it up before it expires. You have twenty-four hours of "anything goes" because it's such-and-such day. On your birthday you can pull the "Oh, I'm sorry officer. It's my birthday." Okay, maybe not to the officer. But maybe to the person you were sharp with or the excuse to eat another piece of chocolate... etc.

I get super emotional reflecting on my life thus far and this weird sentimental urge to make the most of every moment now. I recognize that my life is passing by and I want to make it count. I want every thing to point to God. I want Him to be glorified in my life. I want to enjoy my kids and my husband and bless my family and my friends.

My heart has been breaking. I was crying hard earlier this evening. I was reflecting on the fact that my friend has lost her son  and that I have the joy of celebrating with my kids today. How could I ask or want anything more than that? I have been given so much. I have a husband who loves me and kids that are precious and ALIVE.

So this wrestling... for wanting to make the most of it all and rejoicing in everything I have.

And a special day awaits me... Keeping kids home from school. Breakfast with my family and Mom and Dad Napier at IHOP. Dollar Movie with the kids. And then strawberry picking. Strawberry shortcake for dessert. And dinner with my husband (sans les infants- without kids!)

I am blessed. I am rich. I am loved by God. And even if no one else "acknowledges" me I am content in knowing that I am God's child. He created me. He was there at my birth and He will be there at my last breath. What a blessing to know that I am His.







*The 7ths refer to impt. dates for me. December 7th- my sister's birthday. March 7th-her death date.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Jennifer - I somehow in all these years managed to not know that June 3rd was your birthday. So this is late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you had a great time doing all your fun things and that you were blessed. With love from all of us xxx