Showing posts from July, 2015

Sleep wherever...

Somedays I tucker them out so much they can't make it til bedtime...

The tears in the night

Up in the night with the crying child whose ear is hurting. I'm looking up natural remedies frantically and frustrated that I'm not sleeping. Another night of little sleep.

And I snap. I'm angry about the wailing... partly because it's annoying and disturbing and mostly because I feel helpless to do anything. And as I'm gathering hydrogen peroxide and white vinegar I get further exacerbated by the bugs I find everywhere and I begin to grumble.

And I have to stop myself and ask Jesus for help. Help me comfort my hurting child. Help me to be selfLESS.

And now the natural remedy coupled with ibuprofen has finally
soothed the swimmers ear. My child sleeps quiet beside me. Arms encroaching my space. Head sharing my pillow.

And I am thankful that God is not like me. He doesn't tire. He's not impatient. He knows and understands me perfectly and isn't frustrated with my limitations and weaknesses.

In fact He sings over us and delights in us. And so as I seek to…

The Gift of Rest, My Need to Get Unplugged & Resist the Lies

I have had some of the most restful days this past week that I've had in a long, long time. I've been able to sleep, exercise, eat, play and go to Barnes and Noble whenever I've wanted. I have been "kid-free".

This is not my daily life. This is not normal at all. But I have enjoyed the ability to unwind and breathe deep and stretch as needed.

My life is full. Full of 5 beautiful, crazy kids. Full of cleaning and meal making and laundry doing. Full of joy and work and the occasional heartbreak that comes from living in a fallen, broken world.

I have found that in my unwinding... I need to be unplugging more. I'm finding myself in this quiet time, drawn to a screen like a moth to a light. And there are so many screens to choose from... my laptop, ipad, cell phone.

If I'm not careful I can fool myself into thinking I've been productive when I've just let myself wander down the rabbit hole.

If I'm not careful I can buy into the lie that my reality…

I must keep moving...



I'm tempted to give up at times. But I'm not going to. Life is challenging. It has unique difficulties and roadblocks. And there are times when you need to genuinely stop and rest. But I'm trying to learn to pray and know the difference on when I need to press forward and when I just need to say no, this isn't it the time to stop. Running into a wall over and over again is not helpful. But learning to go over the wall or around the wall is.

I'm tempted to push snooze when I need to wake up. I want to give in to a temporary satisfaction instead of longer lasting pleasure. Asking God to help me to trust Him and move forward in my health. To change my eating, my diet, my exercise... MY HABITS!

This transformation has been happening for a long time. Many things internally have had to be re-aligned and fixed before I could take this step to move forward. Emotional and spiritual things had to be discovered and healed before I could do this.

I'm moving past issues that…

Changing Your Life

"Changing your life is like climbing a mountain, you can't see the great view from the top but you know it's coming..." Jennifer Napier

On the days he hates me.

He hit me once and then again. He ran to his brother and popped him on the head. I pulled him away and held his hand. "Noooo!" He wailed. He went rigid. His eyes staring at me with scorn. His little body tight. His frustration mounting. And then he said the words that pierce my heart, "I hate you."

And it's really hard in that moment to gain perspective and clarity. It's hard to see his inability to control his environment and world. His desire for control in whatever way he can grasp it overrides any kind of behavior or attempt at kindness.

And my heart seizes in my chest and I tell myself to breathe. To exhale. "Son, I love you. You may not hit me. You may not hit others..." and he instantly starts whacking at himself. Trying to hit himself. Trying to punish himself. I put down the things in my hands and I say to him, "And you may not hit yourself. Squeeze me. Squeeze me hard." I wrap my arms around him and give him firm pressure. He&…


per·se·vere ˌpərsəˈvir/ verb gerund or present participle: persevering continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success. "his family persevered with his treatment" synonyms:persistcontinue, carry on, go on, keep on, keep going, struggle on,hammer away, be persistent, be determined, see/follow something through, keep at it, press on/ahead, not take no for an answer, be tenacious, stand one's ground, stand fast/firm, hold on, go the distance,stay the course, plod on, stop at nothing, leave no stone unturned;

Long days.

Littles finally truly asleep.

After reports of a bloody nose, who is getting out of bed, who has to go potty, who needs water, who is scared, and who banged their head against the wooden bunkbed.

Putting out "fires" day and night it feels like. I have such a deep appreciation for the single moms in this world and for moms who are home while their husbands deploy. This "single parenting"…

Bye-Bye Caterpillar, Hello Butterfly...

Hi friends. It's time. Time for me to transform. Time for me to slough all the extra weight that has been slowing me down... that was bound to me through trauma and stress and grief and loss and heartache. It's time to say good-by to the caterpillar and hello to the butterfly.

There's a New Girl in Town and her name is Jennifer. She will still smile and laugh. She will still enjoy life. But she's embracing health in a whole new way.

(I don't know why I was speaking about myself in the 3rd person, but that's okay.)

I'm moving more: walking, strength training. I'm not fearing the sweat but embracing allowing the toxins to leave my body.

I'm hydrating by drinking water.... a lot... with lemon, with mint, with cucumber, sometimes infused with strawberries and I might even get a little wild and throw in some apples.

I'm eating my fruits and veggies... At least 31 a day. 

I'm resting and sleeping when needed. 

I'm seeking healthy ways to release s…