transforming

I'm tempted to give up at times. But I'm not going to. Life is challenging. It has unique difficulties and roadblocks. And there are times when you need to genuinely stop and rest. But I'm trying to learn to pray and know the difference on when I need to press forward and when I just need to say no, this isn't it the time to stop. Running into a wall over and over again is not helpful. But learning to go over the wall or around the wall is.

I'm tempted to push snooze when I need to wake up. I want to give in to a temporary satisfaction instead of longer lasting pleasure. Asking God to help me to trust Him and move forward in my health. To change my eating, my diet, my exercise... MY HABITS!

This transformation has been happening for a long time. Many things internally have had to be re-aligned and fixed before I could take this step to move forward. Emotional and spiritual things had to be discovered and healed before I could do this.

I'm moving past issues that have held me back. With God's help I'm working on my PTSD, anxiety and depression issues. With God's help I'm growing stronger and healthier.

I'm choosing to be kind to myself, and not only to others.

I'm learning to stand up for myself and give my opinion when the time is appropriate instead of fearing others thoughts of me.

I'm not apologizing for the things that I don't need to be sorry about.

I'm not going to shape your opinion of me, I will allow you to make your own decision about me.... which means I'm not going to say, "I know this is so weird but..." or "I have a dumb question...." Instead I will ask, "May I share this with you?" "Excuse me...." etc.

Lookout world... this girl is becoming a butterfly.