Showing posts from November, 2007

Pictures I love.

This picture was taken earlier in August when we were at the zoo. I love when Samuel lays his head on Mike's shoulder. It's a sweet sight for me. My two precious men.

When It's Hard to Breathe.

Lately I've been finding it hard to breathe. Pregnancy issues... no. Moving related... no. It's grief. I feel like it's swallowing me whole. Everynight for the past week or so I have dreamt about my sister. And there's always a wedding. Someone's wedding. It changes everynight. So sometimes I literally have to stop and take deep breaths. I cried a lot today. I cried over what could have been and what I have lost. I cried over my brother-in-law. I cried for my family. I cried that I am once again having a child that my sister won't meet, hug or snuggle on this side of earth. My throat is sore from all the supressed tears.

Her birthday is next Friday. She would have been 25.

The pain is so deep. I don't think someone could ever understand until they've tasted death. Until it happens to you it doesn't make sense. Sometimes I wonder if this is how it feels for normal people at the end of their life. You start to experience the loss …

Good News.

Okay people, I really should have posted this on Saturday or at least yesterday but things have been busy. We found a new place. It's a 2 bedroom appartment with very limited storage and small living space but so perfect for minimizing and downsizing. It's the right price and the perfect location. I can walk Libby to church which is where school/bible study/church are. I will be looking for some creative storage ideas. One of the great things is that we're renting month to month so when we feel like it's time to move... we can move.

My friend Sonya was over all day helping me pack. She has two kids and needless to say our kids played from 8:30 a.m. till 7 p.m tonight while we packed, packed, and packed. And this saint is coming over tomorrow. She has been such a blessing to me. She provided me a meal for dinner tonight.

Anyway, I want to make sure you all get my new address so please e-mail me and I will send it to you. I'm having issues with my e-mail …

Birthday Blues.

Everytime I see this picture I crack up. This was Libby on her birthday. I think she had too much birthday or something. She was a colorful cutie all day. She even said good-bye to her passy that day. We tied balloons to her passy and she let it go. Anyway, just wanted to share a picture of her day in October.

First Haircut.

Samuel got his haircut. His curls are all gone. My dad cut his hair for me. I think his new cut looks great. I need to get a better picture of it soon.


My little ladybugs have the sweetest smiles. I dressed up Libby and Samuel for Halloween as ladybugs. They didn't go trick-or-treating but were just dressed up for the day. We ended up hanging out on our bed eating popcorn and watching Dumbo.

The Day before Thanksgiving.

I am sitting down to type with my son trying to attack me with a piece of bridge that goes to a train set. Libby is exhausted from having waken up way too early for the past several days is attempting a nap but is failing miserably. And I am sitting here in a t-shirt and sweat pants and a pounding headache and thinking, "Oh no, Thanksgiving is tomorrrow." I told myself this year that I would insist on NOT making pies. I mean heck, I was already making the full-on dinner right? Well, there was nothing frozen to buy except for mince pie- yeck. So instead I am making my brother his pumpkin pie, and deep dish apple pie, and I did find a pecan pie to purchase in addition to a cheesecake. And how many of us are there eating this dinner... 6 adults. Yeah, lots of pie. It's a good thing I invited my friend and her husband and two children over for coffee and dessert.

My parents and my brother and his girlfriend and driving up today. The list is mounting in my head of …

rainbow tears.

"Mommy, there is a rainbow in my eye." (Libby after crying. Tears on her face.)


God's faithfulness is so evident in my life when I look back to where I was almost 2 years ago. This was when I was in pre-term labor (January 2006) and when Samuel was born February 16, 2006. We have come such a long way. Samuel is a healthy thriving boy in comparison to the little preemie who was intibated and couldn't be touched for many days. Broke our hearts for a while not being able to to touch or hold him. Let me show a comparion picture so you can see how far we've come. We have been so blessed. Our son is alive. He has made it thus far. Sometimes I need to remind myself of the ways God has been faithful in the past so that the present concerns and worries won't seem so large and that I can remember that I have a Father who knows my needs and cares for me. How blessed I am!

See the difference.

See what I mean! He's come a long way. Here he's eating brownie batter. Mmmm... yum! This was taken a couple months ago.

Condemnation: The motherload of bricks.

There is a mouse running all around my floor. He keep stopping and looking up at me as if to say, "What?" Maybe the next place won't have mice. I wouldn't mind them if they would just keep their mouths off my food that's stored away. I mean come on, there's like a billion crumbs from the kids they could eat off, right?

It's a funny thing but I think in general you can see if I'm doing well or not by how often I post on my blog. I haven't been posting lately... Hmmm, but I do think this has been an extra-ordinarily crazy time. With Libby being sick and the Napiers being here packing is the only thing that's been getting done. Faf (my mom-in-law) cooked almost every meal and did all the dishes. I am wondering if Heaven will be like that sometimes. Good food, no work. Don't get me wrong- I love to cook, it's just nice having a break.

Lately, I've been dealing with a lot of guilt and condemnation. I've forgotten to call, e…

A few minutes.

We went to Va this past week-end for my cousin, Anne's wedding. It was a wonderful week-end and pretty relaxing for me because I got to run around doing the fun "wedding" stuff like going to a Bridal brunch and getting my nails done, etc. The wedding itself was beautiful and amazing. We drove home on Monday just in time for Libby's ballet performance. (which was SO cute). That night she began throwing up and had a fever. She had to stay home from school the next day and today she threw up again although the fever is almost gone.

My in-laws drove up with us (caravan-style) on Monday and we have been enjoying some time with them. They have been a huge help with packing and helping me with the kids. The kids are climbing all over the furniture and the computer. Well, very short update but it's better than me not having posted at all. Somedays you just got to take what you can get.

Still looking for a home. 15 more days and we'll be outta here. The grac…

Being an adventure girl.

So today I seriously had this thought of just up and leaving and taking the kids to Va. I wasn't mad at Mike nor upset with him in anyway. I was just tired of the stress. tired of being overwhelmed and well, just tired. So I had this idea that when he would go out tonight I would just pack the car and leave and be on the road to Va. Then I stopped and thought about it. Well, he wouldn't have a car then and how would he get to class tomorrow? And an acquaintance is coming over tomorrow to help me pack. Libby has ballet and school. And wouldn't that have been a bit dramatic. Mike calling me saying, "Hon, where are you?" "Oh, I'm in Maryland on my way to Va." Okay, so I didn't end up leaving. The truth is it was more that I wanted to run away. I felt like the child who had a little backpack ready but was sitting on the curb outside her house. Yeah, I'm really running away now.

See sometimes life is an adventure and I feel like I…

Too cute!

I just loved this picture so I thought I would put it up for you to see.

tiny dancer



Libby loves shoes, especially mine. She loves to slip her feet and shuffle around the house wearing my shoes. Of course they're too big but I guess that's part of the fun. Thought you might enjoy too!