Showing posts from February, 2013

Coke, it's what's for breakfast.

Okay, so it turns out that the "knots in my stomach" are more than that. I think I have a tummy bug. Just had to cancel root canal. Last week they had to cancel on me because the dentist's wife was in labor :)

This week it's my turn to cancel. Yippee.

We found out Monday that Samuel has strep. His long-term test came back positive. The short-term one was negative. So he stayed home yesterday so his antibiotics could kick in for 24 hours.

I don't think I have strep. Just a little bug of some sort.

Just as Lib walked out the door this morning she complained that her throat hurt. I was going to whisk her back in so we could go to doctors later but she said, "just a little. If it hurts later I will stay home tomorrow."

Great. I hope I'm not infecting other kids in her class. hoping she's just tired.


My stomach is horrible right now. I'm drinking Coke to settle it. I know it's 9 in the morning but Coke is the one thing that really help…

Root Canals and other reasons to trust God...

I have a root canal this morning. I am not looking forward to it. It's not the experience of it as much as the anticipation. My stomach is in knots and I just have been feeling "off" the past couple of days anyway. It doesn't make a pretty picture.

I am lying in bed (temporarily). I've already been up. Mike got the kids dressed and I helped with breakfast preparations and packing lunches. Medicine dispersed. Notes to teachers written. Kids out the door. I cleaned the kitchen. Unloading dishes and then loading. Wiping down counters and spills and crumbs. Pushing chairs back in. Straightening odds and ends. I even cleaned out the coffee pot twice. with hot water and vinegar. So I'm lying in bed now and I don't want to get up.

I don't want to face the day. I don't want to get numb and hear drills. I don't want to move a muscle. I'm tired and achey and sad.

March is coming upon me like a sad procession. Like a bleak tolling of bells. Not the j…

Samuel at 7

Taken on his actual 7th birthday.

A thousand posts.

This is my 1,000th post. It's amazing to see where my journey on this blog has taken me. When I first started blogging it was 2006. Now it's 2013. When I first started I had two children. Now I have five. Then I was living in PA while my husband was just starting his Master's degree. Now we're waiting to hear back about the Ph.D. program at UVA. 
A week ago was Samuel's CT scan. It was the first time Mike wasn't present. He had work and I encouraged him to do what was needed... work. I know it took an emotional toll on him to not be there. But I didn't go alone with Samuel. I had Libby come with us. 
It was fun to pick them up at school and drive down to the Children's Hospital together. And after our time of scans and seeing the oncologist I treated them to chips and pretzels. They cracked me up when they wanted to pose with their treats. The first is sweet and the second picture Libby's hamming it up with her "warrior princess" yell whi…

Sweet & Serious

I am so thankful for my kids. I love their individual personalities. I love the way they talk and express themselves. It's interesting to see how their birth order affects them as well. Libby is a tried and true first born. & Peter is very much a last born. I think this child of mine is very secure. he knows he is loved by his parents and by his siblings.  He shadows Michael and loves to follow him everywhere. He repeats everything that Ian say. Peter adores his big sister. He plays with Samuel or watches what Samuel is doing. It's been very fun lately to see him come into his own with language. When he talks sometimes it's his own made up language but every now and then he bursts into a full sentence. This has been fun and very amusing. At times we have to ask ourselves, "Did Peter just say that?" His favorite thing is to ask where people are...
Peter: "Where's Michael?" Me: "He's at school."
Peter: "Where's Ian?" Me:…

To Thine Own Self Be True

Do you ever compare?

Sometimes it is beneficial to see what someone else is doing. It can give you a new outlook or a fresh perspective on a different way and maybe even a better or more efficient way of going about doing something. It can allow you to try something you never would have. Push you past your comfort zone.

But, I find that often what starts off as a positive experience quickly descends into me beating myself up for not doing something the way someone else does it. I see my "failings" and "shortcomings" and quickly begin berating myself.

This can happen from wandering out and about in the real world... in a store or mall or hanging out at a party. But this danger also is even more potent in the world of "unreality"... the world online. Whether it be facebook posts or blogs or tweets or pinterest the temptation to compare yourself to someone else is very likely.

Twice recentlyI have caught myself comparing myself to my friends.

While enjoying …

Control... or the lack thereof

Today is Samuel's CT scan. I've been falling apart all week so I'm kind of glad that the day itself is here. In less than 12 hours I will know if all is as it has been or if the thing that still gives me nightmares has returned (cancer). I have no reason to think anything has changed. Samuel is doing well. Energy high. Happy. Full of life and joy and lots of smile and laughters.

It's the knowledge that things aren't in our favor. That the scale points in the bad direction (cancer returning). So there's this wrestling that happens. I know that God is big enough and powerful enough to  keep Samuel from cancer and to completely heal his body. But I also know that I don't control the will of God... and I do believe that God loves Samuel more than I do and has his best in mind... but that doesn't necessarily equal what I think it should.

I'm not sure if I'm coherent. I slept less than 3 hours last night and have this stabbing pain shooting through th…

Happy Birthday Adventure Girl!

Let me preface- I totally stole this picture from Alexis Williams. (Sorry Alexis. But I can't help it. You're too beautiful and seeing it has 3 of my kids in it... well, I didn't think you'd mind.)

Happy Birthday beautiful girl. Wait, I guess I can't call you a girl anymore. 18. I guess that kind of makes you a legal adult doesn't it? But you'll always be a little girl in my mind :)

So grateful for you and the gift you are to me and my family. Things may change over time but you will always be family! Nothing and no one can ever take your place.

God gave me such a wonderful Adventure Girl for a Friend! Mwah!

Have a great time in Maryland and I look forward to celebrating with you when you get home!

Almost 7.


Tomorrow Samuel Augustine will be 7. I can't believe it's been that long... and I can't believe it's ONLY been that long. It seems like an age ago when I gave birth and asked Mike after I heard my newborn cry, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"It's a boy!" was his reply.

After 5 weeks of contractions I gave birth to a 6 lb. 3 oz. boy. He was only 30 weeks gestation... translation = 10 weeks early. I didn't know all the complications that would follow. Samuel had to stay in the NICU hospital for 5 weeks. Intubated on and off. He came home on oxygen and stayed on oxygen and an apnea monitor for 6 months.

Hospitalized ten times by his second birthday you think it wouldn't have been so surprising to learn his diagnosis of cancer at age 4. But it was a huge shock. He had been pretty "stable" from about 2 to 4 that we thought we were in the "clear" so to speak.

But Samuel is a survivor. But more than just surviving. He is joyful…

My funny little Valentines.


Celebrate Love

I am caught in a trap. I must find the most amazing card ever that will completely and perfectly express my love and devotion to my husband. I went to Wal-Mart and Target and Hall-Mark and even the grocery store to find the best sentiment. It must be right. Everything must be the exact symbol of love and romance and passion. And then my husband reminds me... "Babe, you know they just want you to buy stuff." Aaaagh. He's right!!!!

Commercialism. We see it so often with approaching holidays. But what's scary is that we often forget it's there... we fall into the trap... Today is Valentine's Day. February 14th. The day of romance and love. But here's the thing... it's really a way for marketing/advertisers to get you to buy a certain product and spend money.

Am I against romance? Absolutely not. I LOVE ROMANCE. Am I anti-love? Heaven forbid. I believe love should be CELEBRATED! But I also believe love should be valued, honored, and respected.

I don'…

An Unlikely Friend...

Sometimes you meet people because you have too. That's how it started.

Mike was best man in his friend's wedding and so I went with.

This was before we were married.

I met the bride to be. She had gorgeous red curly hair and beautiful pale skind and a lovely smattering of freckles and I felt strange and shy being a tag-a-long. But before I knew it... before the wedding reception was over that week-end I thought.... I could like this girl. I mean really like her. Maybe it was that her family got together and danced around wearing crazy Grouch Marx glasses... you know the ones with the furry eyebrow & mustache combo...

Something special has happened over the years... this woman who I did not know became precious to me. Our encounters are limited as we live in different cities, hours apart... but my heart has been knit to hers. And I hope I'm not being too over the top, dramatic and I hope I don't scare her... no suzy, i'm not a stalker... but I really love you.


His plans...


let go