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Showing posts from May, 2015

Counting Sheep and Still No Winks

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It's almost 3 a.m. and I can't sleep.

I've tossed and turned for hours.

Just like I did last night.

I even avoided watching my recent tv show on netflix addiction.

So, what have I done....

I've found out a few friends are pregnant. Thank you FB

i got a great recipe for glazed lemon zucchini bread. Thank you friend's post.

I read some articles.

I drank some water.

I admired some photos.

And time slips by and my eyes closing doesn't lend to dreaming. this is rough because I need to get up in a few hours and start my day. And we have practicum in the morning (Conference for Classical Conversations). And I got so little sleep last night... and the night before. In fact for the past several weeks. And I told myself I would go to bed by 9!

And now my thoughts tend to alternate between heavy and deep and loopy and weird.

And I pray... I pray for the Moms up with their newborns... awake in the wee small hours of the night. I think of what time it is in Sweden and how m…

Two of My Heroes...

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Face Painting

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Beach Days with My Beach Babes

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When I'm Awfully Low...

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Some day, when I'm awfully low When the world is cold I will feel a glow just thinking of you And the way you look tonight
Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm And your cheeks so soft                                         There is nothing for me but to love you And the way you look tonight
With each word your tenderness grows Tearin' my fear apart And that laugh..wrinkles your nose Touches my foolish heart
Lovely ... Never, never change Keep that breathless charm Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you Just the way you look tonight

Ditch the Cleaning. Love the Kids.

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I have the sticky floors and happy kids...

When Fantasy Becomes Reality.

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My fantasies have changed over the years. What used to grip me no longer does. What used to sound humdrum boring or simply of course that will happen has become illusive and slips through my fingers. I miss the days of youth of countless hours of reading books and playing at the ocean, of traveling the world, of sitting with a friend and talking without the distraction of littles to pull us away from our thoughts and leave us with fragmented conversations.

So now when I go to the beach with my children and don't live in a state of anxiety it's a complete haven for me.

And when I get the opportunity to see one of my dearest friends who i haven't been able to see for 7 years it's like a taste of Heaven.

So when I heard that my Swedish friend, who yes, lives in Sweden was coming to New York City I about had a heart attack. All I could think, was how can I make that happen? How can I see my friend?

So I took a bus that left at 11 p.m. and arrived at 5:30 a.m. and ended up …

Mudfights and the Aftermath.

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Exhausted by the natives at times. Good thing they're cute!


Before:




After:




Mornings, Motherhood, and the things I hold on to.

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I've been waking up every morning before six. Before the alarm clock goes off. Before one of my children creep into bed with me and start patting my head or asking me if they can have cookies for breakfast or other such nonsense.

I've been exercising 3 days a week. It's been exciting. And on these "off" days where I'm not exercising I'm awake and thinking and allowing myself to become overwhelmed and anxious.

I'm an overthinker. I take things way down the road... way past what the day actually presents. If I look at my future too far out I get scared. I get overwhelmed and fearful and I feel condemned and sad and depressed and blank. But if I tell myself I can get through this moment. That I'm okay right now. Right here in the present, then I tend to be able to hold on until I can gain a hold on reality.

I'm juggling the needs of a large household: laundry, dishes, meals, etc. I'm holding people I care about that are hurting close to my he…