Wednesday, May 20, 2015

When Fantasy Becomes Reality.

My fantasies have changed over the years. What used to grip me no longer does. What used to sound humdrum boring or simply of course that will happen has become illusive and slips through my fingers. I miss the days of youth of countless hours of reading books and playing at the ocean, of traveling the world, of sitting with a friend and talking without the distraction of littles to pull us away from our thoughts and leave us with fragmented conversations.

So now when I go to the beach with my children and don't live in a state of anxiety it's a complete haven for me.

And when I get the opportunity to see one of my dearest friends who i haven't been able to see for 7 years it's like a taste of Heaven.

So when I heard that my Swedish friend, who yes, lives in Sweden was coming to New York City I about had a heart attack. All I could think, was how can I make that happen? How can I see my friend?

So I took a bus that left at 11 p.m. and arrived at 5:30 a.m. and ended up in NYC in Times Square. And at first I was nervous and felt a little lost and then she called me and we kept talking on the phone until we saw each other and then we ran and gave the biggest hugs!

Could it be? Was it just a dream? Did our fantasies become reality? A chance to sit over Starbucks and look each other in the eye and tell of heartache and joy and pain and wonder of mothering, of loss and grief, of working hard, of watching the world in all it's beauty and brokenness.

I took a nap at her flat in N.J. that overlooked the gorgeous NYC skyline. We wandered Hell's Kitchen in N.Y.C. and enjoyed the offerings that the Food Festival held. We met up with her husband and their friends to take in the Met. And finished at an Italian Trattoria that's food was so delicious it literally melted in my mouth and yes, I closed my eyes from the pleasure.

I even had a good night's sleep and a shower before I headed for the bus.

And the moment that showed our friendship was 15 minutes after I boarded the bus, there is my dear friend in all her blue eyed, blonde haired, sunshine smile glory boarding the bus to bring me a Starbucks Chai that she got for me!

Me & Sara


It was a whirlwind. It was wonderful. Even the slight mishaps and mis-direction that we faced was a pleasure because we faced them together. We talked. We laughed. I cried. Gifts exchanged. Big embraces. And the feeling of acceptance that comes in and settles on me like a soft, warm blanket on a stormy night. The friendship that is sustained even despite the thousands and thousands of miles that separate us. The lapse in communication that follows busy lives of mothering and working and struggling and serving. And yet we pick up where left off. And the gap recedes. And the connection continues. And the ties that bind us are stronger than ever.

And this Swedish sister I would give my life for gladly. Whose children I love because they are wondrous extensions of her. Whose husband I pray for blessing and for their marriage to be strengthened and for their knowledge of God's love for them to be increased.

Thank you Sara for the gift of reminding me that the person I am is still here. That I am more than just a Mom. That I am Jennifer, in all my strengths and weaknesses. Thank you for treating me to a 24 hours of a magical time. A bubble we escaped into where I had to keep grabbing your hand and touching your face to accept that you weren't a mirage or a product of my wishful thinking.

I love you friend. I admire your strength. Your boldness. Your tenacity. Your perseverance. I admire your love. Your courage. And I'm thankful to be your friend. To be bound in sisterhood that isn't separated by the oceans between us.

And I long for the day for our children to meet and to play. And to live, even if it's just a few days, side by side. To cook and clean and laugh and to shake our heads over our children's antics.

Thank you for making a dream come true. To see you again. face to face. I'm on your team girl. You wonderful piece of Sunshine. And I love you so much!

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