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Showing posts from December, 2010
Peter's up. He's been screaming on and off for a few hours now. I'm tired and just want to go to bed. He has other plans. He doesn't seem gassy anymore but he's still agitated. He's "talked" a few times now. Making those sweet cooing sounds. He then launches into a full on roar. He's fed. He's clean. Sigh.

I actually burst a blood vessel in my eye. Due to crying or lack of sleep or stress... it's hard to tell which.

Man, its so easy to overlook the importance of sleep until you're not getting enough.

The other day Peter murmured, "agooo." Libby freaked out. "Mommy, did you hear that? He said his first words... "Agoo". Can you believe it?!"

She gets thrilled over his every little move. I love it. She's been such a big helper. She's quick to give him his passy when he's fussy. She talks to him in sweet tones. She helps me gather the shoes for the twins. She fetches a new shirt when oatmeal is adhere…
Okay, I want to post this on caring bridge... but the site has been spazzing out on me... so until I can post on it...

"Samuel had his old CVL taken out. He came home in the afternoon on Christmas Eve. We enjoyed Christmas at home as a family. It was a good day.

Samuel went to the Clinic on Tuesday. It was a much longer day than normal. It wasn't a lot to be done but there were a lot of people so it took longer than usual.

Samuels back in the hospital. He had surgery today and had a new CVL put in. Mike said Samuel was really unhappy after surgery but bounced back later and ate 3 bags of chips tonight! Yay!

He is able to get chemo so he will start tonight. he will be in through the week-end and on Monday they will do a CT scan and do a radiation simulation as well. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out."
Most days I think, Hm, that would be good to post on my blog... but I never get a moment to do it. Maybe it's a philosophical thought on life or a great quote from a book I'm reading or something cute the kids said. Or maybe it's major like surgery or whatever... the point is I can't keep up. I'm trying... and failing miserably.

even now i'm interrupted... peter has been crying most of the night...

i barely have a moment to think, much less express my thoughts.

“A Chinese proverb i like is, The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

There are so many what ifs and if onlys I struggle with. I beat myself up over things I have done or didn't do in my past. But the point is the moment. The moment is now. How am I choosing to live my life right now. Instead of beating myself up over things I've not been able to do I want to focus on the good changes that are happening and I see.

Things have been tense between Mike and I. We&…
The clot has resolved itself. Samuel had his CVL taken out and has a medport temporarily installed in his arm. We're hoping to get him home tomorrow... Mike warned me that the doctors would prefer to keep him in because he needs a lot of stuff done medically but they understand that it's Christmas.

We'd rather be busy at home with him though than separated and in the hospital. Pray that God will help us. We'll be giving him multiple shots daily in his "love handles"... the kids has no fat... Oh I hate shots! Poor baby.

Libby and I frosted cookies with my grandmother today. It was a fun tradition.

I was blessed to have friends from church come clean the house... thank you Lori and Elaine. What a blessing.

My Dad's staying at the hospital tonight so Mike can come home! Yay. So much we need to talk about but we're both too exhausted.... so a movie perhaps instead. Sometimes you just need to relax and unwind....

Took some cute pics of Peter today... will post …

Samuel's OR experience today.

Samuel's CVL was supposed to come out today. Unfortunately when he was in the O.R. they did an EKG and saw that he had a clot at the end of his line (which is near his heart). So they stopped everything. He's going to be on anti-coagulants for a couple days and then they will try and do a repeat of the procedure. So he will be in until at least Christmas Eve. This is scary and also disappointing. We had hoped he would be home tomorrow...

So God willing this will work on Thursday and he'll come home on Friday. Next week he will get a new CVL line put in. We will see. So much going on.

Radiation is supposed to start Jan. 12th but it might get delayed if we can't get this 5 day chemo treatment done and then all his evaluation work: CT scan, MRI, bone scan, etc.

So there's the latest on Samuel
Television and internet capabilities are dangerous things.

When I was in the hospital, oh, one of my many occasions for pre-term labor with Peter, I was watching tv. Sounds innocent enough. Well, when it's 3 in the morning... scary things are on. Like ads for Body Shapers. Sunglasses with cool tints.... and YUDU's. What is a Yudu... you might be asking... let me tell you... it's something I totally want... but don't need. It's this really cool personal screen printing system. I'm into it. So anyway... I didn't do anything crazy last night... I just looked it up online and stared at it and got lost in all my potential amazing designs of crafting that would come about from this amazing invention....

Libby's been learning the differences between wants and needs. For homework the other night she had to fill in these blanks:

I need ______________________.

I want ______________________.

Hmmm. She filled in the following:

I need shelter.

I want lollipops.

Oh the sweet…
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Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne
Um, is anyone reading my blog? Just wondering....

My personal night owl.

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So they think the infection Samuel has came from his CVL. This means that they are monitoring it. If it hasn't cleared in the next 48 hours we will have to replace it.... surgery. Yuck.

Samuel's oncologist still hopes to start chemo on Monday... which means he will be until Christmas Eve and possibly Christmas. That's the plan if his CVL doesn't have to be replaced. Crazy.

Mike just called and said Samuels been moved back to the cancer floor. He's out of the ICU. His fever broke this morning.
So today starts a five day admission for Samuel... so we thought.

I took Samuel in to the clinic. His blood levels looked good so he was getting admitted. In the afternoon he started throwing up. He started crying a lot. He felt warm. Then he felt hot. He spiked a fever. He started shivering and his teeth began to chatter. He was getting chills. His fever was 104.

Turns out he has tested positive for "negative gram infection." The problem is it gets worse before it gets better. Samuel was on the 8th floor (oncology) but now is being transferred to the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit). He needs his blood pressure stabilized.

He is NOT getting chemo right now. The problem? When will he be able to start? He might need to stay in the hospital past Christmas. It's disappointing. On top of which, I'm struggling with anxiety. I hate ICU's. so many bad memories.

So please pray for his body to fight this infection. We are tired and weary but our faithful God is sustain…
Tuesday was a typical day... a day of pure madness :)

Trying to get out the door on time I was up at 5:45 a.m. I had very little sleep that night. It's funny how you can't rush a nursing baby... I can't tell Peter... "Hey, get a move on. Eat faster." That's a good thing about babies is they slow you down. That's the hard thing about babies....they slow you down :)

Samuel had to go to radiology for an ultrasound at 8 a.m. We got there on time. He proceeded to throw up all over the waiting room. I caught some in his bucket but he needed a change of clothes... which I happened to forget on the kitchen counter. I set the bucket down because Peter was crying. Samuel then managed to trip on my purse and fall into his puke bucket. Yes, you can imagine the mess.

I cleaned him up and changed his clothes. We were called back to another waiting area and then finally to the room. He screamed during the ultrasound, of course. I finally distracted him with stickers. Then …
Wow. It's been a while since I've posted. I took Michael to the doctors almost two weeks ago. They put him on oral steroids and antibiotics. It's seemed to help a little bit. Samuel had surgery on December 3rd. It went well and was very smooth. He was then kept inpatient for chemo for a couple days. I was able to take him to clinic this past Friday for the first time. I had Peter with me as well and I think things went rather well all in all.

My sister's birthday was the 7th. She would have been 28. I had a good day. Well, it started off with major tooth pain so I ended up at the dentists and found out I needed a root canal. I was given a prescription for antibiotics and vicatin. I got to have time with my Mom that day as well as time with my dear cousin Sharon. I also had a few friends over that evening. Sometimes it's hard on special anniversary dates to not feel pressure to make it super special and significant somehow.

(BTW- if this isn't making sense it'…