Showing posts from April, 2009

The Big Day.

Tomorrow (Thurs., April 30th) is the big day. Michael will be getting his cleft palate repaired and tubes in his ears. We leave at 6 a.m. to arrive at CHKD at 6:45. Surgery is scheduled for 8:30. Visitors are welcome, especially in the afternoon and on Friday. We would love the support and encouragement.

I can feel the nervous energy I have and feel like I can't sleep. Getting up after 5 a.m. to make sure we have everything and have the schedule for the kids done, etc....

Well, sleep is elusive right now. Thank God for coffee right????!!!!

Look forward to giving a good report!

MRI's and the lack thereof.

Michael was scheduled for an MRI yesterday. We spoke with the nurse at 6:30 in the morning and asked if we should continue to withhold feeding him as we were concerned about him being hydrated. We had turned off his feed at 11. We explained he was on a feeding tube and received formula by g-tube. She said to go ahead and turn on his feed until 9:30. I stopped the feed (it was only for 2 hours) at 9... just to be on the safe side.

Well, we got checked in, registered, etc. He was weighed. He had the hospital band on. The anasthesiologist asked questions about his cleft. Right before he got his IV they asked about feeding/drinking...

Well, the nurse told Mike WRONG. He's not supposed to have formula for 6 hours prior the MRI. She meant to say he could have Pedialyte until 9:30. So we had to cancel and reschedule. It was very frustrating. It's hard to secure child care for a lengthy appt. like this one and in addition to drive from here to CHKD... drop off kids, etc.…

Loving Jesus.

As I write this I'm aware that it's far too late and I'm far too tired to be completely coherent. So bear with me.

I've been thinking lately about Jesus. How sweet and precious He is to me. How radical a man. A servant of all. The King of Kings. God and human. A man who cared for the poor, the sick, the broken, for women and outcasts. Jesus was not afraid to tell it like it is. He was not afraid to destroy the religious people of His day.

It made me wonder... who am I? Am I more religious or am I more like Christ? I get caught up with how efficient and productive I am. I get caught up in thinking that my worth is based on what I've done (praying, reading Scripture, serving others, etc.) rather than what He has done. What He has finished. If only I could truly come to terms with the fact that He won't love me more or less because of what I have or haven't done. He truly loves me. That amazes me. How can someone completely know me... my heart, …

Thoughts by the grave.

I went to my sister's grave today. I was finished with the IEP meeting and had a little time before the next and I went there. I didn't know I was going to go. It was a little impulsive. But I found myself driving on Cedar and I pulled in. The sky was blue and there were gorgeous clouds in the sky. There was warmth all around me and a slight breeze. I stood at her grave and just thought. I know she is not there. She's in Heaven. She's with Jesus.

But being where the remains of Libby's body was provoked some thoughts. I was glad that she was buried where there were horses close by. I could see them running and hear them whinnying. The sound of laughter was close. I could look up and see children playing at a nearby school.

I miss her. I miss the sound of her laughter and the way she would snort when she was tickled by something. The way she would crinkle her nose in amusement. I miss her advice and encouragement and wisdom. I miss her telling me what…


Nibble. Random title for a random post.

I'm sitting at my table just having finished my eggs and toast and assessing the day. I have finally come to terms with that I just need to do things that need to be done and not try to live up to some random ideal that I just pulled out of nowhere. For example, I make myself breakfast but I tend to think hmmm, I shouldn't eat breakfast until the table is clear or the dishes are done, etc. And then I find I don't eat breakfast, I get more tired than ever, and I have no energy to accomplish what needs to be done in the day. But today... I pushed aside the cheerios and the crayons and coloring books, the trucks, etc. and sat down with my meal.

I'm waiting for my tea to cool a bit so I can take a sip.

My e-mail is too busy right now. Literally, I tried to check my mail for the day and it said the server was processing too many requests. I laughed out loud. How ironic. If the computer is too busy.... what does that say for the r…

Libby's work.

"It's a lot of work to take care of your babies." - Libby Anne Hope

Libby & Michael

Time together.


Okay, so I feel like there are a million things I can post on... Easter. Our friend's wedding. My Grandma in the hospital. My Aunt Jo getting sick again. Samuel and schooling... and the IEP coming up. Therapy stuff. Surgery Prep stuff. ENT for Michael tomorrow. The zoo this past week-end and the twins birthday (Friday) and party (Sunday)... okay, whew... so there is no time for all of that anytime soon...

So I will randomly at times post on what's going on and try to play catch-up. How does that sound?

Our van has passed inspection and is ready to be picked up. (miracle) Mike has substitute teaching tomorrow (which he loves, loves, loves) and I have Michael's ENT appointment in the afternoon!

I'm trying to take a little time to focus on my needs. Things like not skipping meals. Getting more exercise in. And just trying to take better care of myself in general.

Mike has been really sick with a head cold/sinus/headache/achey body thing. Poor babe. He's be…

Broken Down.

Mike's car is kaput. It has also broken down... but it's gone bye-bye. We are now looking for a small, reliable vehicle. We're not talking fancy or pretty even, just something that works and isn't a gas hog.

There are days where we all break down. Days where we try to give and there's nothing left. I feel like a car trying to run on empty. All that's left are remainders of gas fumes... but no substance. I can get so caught up in how I feel that I can start to believe that there is NO hope. But there is. This feeling too will pass. I will be encouraged and refreshed again. But for today I'm broken. I want to cry and curl up into a shell and not come out. I want to soak in the bath for an hour until my skin is more wrinkled than a pug. I want to cry until my salty tears burn my cheeks. And then sleep knowing that tomorrow is a new day with new grace... with new hope and new promises. This won't last. It's a feeling. But My God... My B…
I was looking through some "old" pictures (taken last month)... thought they'd be fun to post.

Rub-a-dub-dub. Two Bubs in the tub.

Sleeping Boy.

Baby Photo Book. Finally put pictures in it!


I love making things. It brings me much joy. I've made bunches of flower arrangements throughout the house. I just recently made my mom and mom-in-law's mother's day gifts- whew, I know I'm early but it feels good to get it done. I made cookies recently... and yesterday for the first time I made home made play dough....

which my kids won't touch.

Gotta laugh. The things I "invest" time and energy into they don't really seem to care for. Well, Libby and I at least had fun making it. I'm going to try seeing if they'll use it tomorrow... or maybe I'll slip it in a play-doh container and see if they notice the difference...

Do a little dance.

I don't know how it happened but it was just as I looked at my photos that I realized Libby didn't get a picture with her ballet teacher, Miss Jessica. Shame. Shame. Good thing Jessica and I are friends and we can make up the picture another time!

Thought it would be fun to give you a little "taste" of her ballet performance. She did a great job! It was so fun to watch all these little mu

What does a mom do?

Ashleigh- I hope you don't mind but I had to use this here. I saw it on your blog and it actually helped me so much!

I have some friends who do wonder what I do with my days and with my time. I thought this was a great insight... and a little validation for why I can feel overwhelmed being a "mom"... it's hard work and a huge responsibility. It's also a joy and a pleasure. Thought this might encourage some new moms with single friends who might not "get it".

Cookie time.

Well, we were supposed to make oatmeal raisin cookies. It was supposed to be a replacement for some delicious chocolate chip cookies a friend had brought (thanks Tambra) but the last of the batch were consumed by my dad or brother- after I already promised Libby cookies...

So in effort to redeem the situation we have decided to make cookies. Well, I'm going for a healthier version (using applesauce and less sugar)... but there were no raisins to be found. So we added craisins, dried cherries, pecans, and a few white chocolate chips.

.......Later that day....

Yummy, hearty cookies! Delish. Well, off to console a constipated baby (Michael)... feed a never satisfied baby (Ian) and tell Samuel and Libby to come inside!