Sunday, March 21, 2010


I have an abcessed tooth. I was in agony... now I'm on antibitotics and vicatin... I feel better. Tomorrow I will find what awaits? Root canal or other? We shall see...

my new favorite song...

Your Hands by JJ Heller

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands

Thursday, March 18, 2010


The afternoon sun has warmed my heart and my spirits. I see buds on trees. People are out running or biking.

I took the kids to the park today. It was so nice to be void of cumbersome jackets. I think I need to plan at least once a week to go to the park. The sunshine on my face was a luxurious treat. The kids ran, slid, swung.

Mmmm.... spring.... fresh asparagus.

Spring... the smell of daffodils... their cheery yellow adorn my kitchen.

Spring... the reminder of Christ's resurrection.

My heart was so full that I spilled tears when I thought of Jesus taking my place on the Cross. To realize that though I'm fragile, broken, imperfect, weak, sinful, and shattered... In Him I am strong, whole, perfect, sinless, victorious, forgiven, redeemed, and am being made into His likeness. So sweet. And so much more than I can express in words...

I look forward to decorating eggs with the kids and doing spring-time crafts... but it's all overshadowed by Christ.

I've been reading a fun book on organizing "Organizing for Dummies..." I love all the tips, hints, suggestions, etc. I love organizing... if only I wasn't a perfectionist who demands it all to be done right NOW perfectly. I need to laugh at myself more...

Mike and I are taking turns reading Dune (by Frank Herbert) out loud. We did this book when we were courting... it's fun to do it again.

A spring poem... by me.

Hum. Sun. Dream. Skip.
Dizzy. spinning under skies of blue.
Lie in the hammock of my open arms
barefoot in springs sprung grass
glass of lemonade to refresh parched tongues
Springs siren has sung
it's song calls me to wander and wonder
to hum under my breath
to dream of warm basking sun
to skip along on my tasks
once mundane
now alive
like glistening jewels on black velvet
to smell the fresh alive outdoors
that touches your nose
and leaves its fragrance on the tip of your tongue.
The slight wind lets you shudder
in the comfort of your sweater
toes warmed and sunkissed in flip-flops
and life lingers as days stretch
like a newborn waking from his nap.
Mouth pinked and slight yawn
gripping your finger tight
love swelling your heart
and flowers long dormant
show their sleeping heads.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Much of the Same...

I am sorry friends. I want this post, my 600th post to be a matter of fact, to be cheery and upbeat full of flowers and rainbows and butterflies. Instead it's a little more of what's happening in my life.

Samuel was taken by ambulance to the ER this week. Another not so fun adventure. His asthma is rearing its ugly head and we're trying to keep him stable.

I've been sick with a sinus infection or something which has now turned into a tummy bug. Ian has thrown up the past several days. Samuel started throwing up today. He hasn't been able to go to school for almost 2 weeks due to illness.

Thankfully my 7th was spent in relative peace. We went down to Nags Head (Outerbanks,N.C.) and chilled. It was a little respite from all this crazy bush-na-na we've been experiencing. My mom and I actually got to get out. We took Libby to her favorite store and got her some St.Patrick's Day themed items: a green and white tutu and an adorable pixie hairband with Shamrock themes.That's a must for a picture.

I feel like my computer has arthritis as the spacebar is still broken and it makes my typing very slow as I have to bang the bar very hard twice so I can create a space. Otherwisemytypinglookslikethis. See my point.

My mom and I also got pedicures... a first for us in a longtime...

Well, I'm taking a break right now. I'll write more later... as we do now have internet back home. This too shall pass....

Wednesday, March 03, 2010


My last few days have been unbelievable.

Monday was spent cleaning up throw-up. Libby had gotten sick in the night and threw up all over her doorway area and then my doorway area. So I was cleaning carpet and doors that were stained with puke.

Samuel got sick yesterday morning and threw up all over his bed and my bed. There's a theme.

Yesterday I almost had a heart attack when for 45 minutes Samuel was missing. I had to have the therapist call 911 as I frantically searched the house and the outside for Samuel. I kept yelling Samuel's name over and over as visions of finding him dead in the pond or kidnapped or lost in the woods played through my mind. I had to keep giving Christ control of my thoughts. I felt more than just slightly hysterical. He was nowhere to be found. I found myself begging God, "please God not another disaster. Not another tragedy. I'm still not over the first."

Laura, our therapist, found him later in my bed. He was wearing his pull-up and had taken off his PJ's. I was so overhwelmed with emotion at the sight of my little boy warm with fever in my bed. I gave him a dozen kisses and ran my trembling hand through his hair. What mercy to be spared. I'm so glad he's okay.

An officer still came out and asked what happened. He was kind and also relieved that Samuel was safe.

today I was put in a crazy situation as I got the car stuck in a mud pit. It's long too explain. Let's just say I had another learning experience and was thankful when my brother used the tractor to rescue me out of the mud.

I'm tired and bedraggled. My adrenal glands are shot. I'm dreading the 7th. My plans have been shot through. What a time this has been.

I'm ready for it to be over. What is it? It's sadness, heartbreak, anger, confusion, depression.

So I sit and wait quietly for the Lord....