So, here I am eating banana nut cheerios. They're really good. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the last time i posted and think of what needs updating on. I'm covered in some kind of bug bite.... fleas, mosquito, chigger, spider? I don't know. But they itch and hurt like mad.

Yesterday I was at the clinic with Samuel and he was watching movie previews. One came on with this band... kids singing and drumming, etc. Samuel turns to me and says, "Mom, I wish I could be a rocket star." I loved it. Today he told me while jumping up and down on me that he wants to be a cowboy.

Samuel's been having a lot of headaches recently. In fact he asked me to get a cloth and get it wet and put it on his head to help his "Heck-aches" as he calls them. Poor babe.

Ian has been telling everyone that he has a big head. I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. He has then proceeded to tell me, my Mom, and our friend Kelli, that we have big heads. So if he tells you, "You have a big 'het'." Don't take it personally. I think it's some sort of compliment.

Ian was "interviewed" today for Reverse Mainstreaming at Grassfield Elementary. I don't think he showed his brilliance. Which is sad and frustrating for me but I have asked for God's will to be done and I need to trust Him. I really would love for all the kids to be in the same school this upcoming Fall. I really think Ian would benefit from structure and from interacting with other children, etc. We will see what happens.

I've been reading several good books lately. In particular I've been enjoying the children's series, "100 Cupboards" by N.D. Wilson, son of Douglas Wilson (author of Classical Christian Education, etc.) The story line is imaginative and a little creepy. I wouldn't just toss this series at anyone, it really might scare some. I love the classic good vs. evil theme and I like the Christ themes I see in the stories. Plus it's just really fun. I'm on the third book now called the "Chestnut King".

I'm also reading "Gotta Have It!: Freedom from wanting everything RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW" by Gregory Jantz.
"The point of this book is to learn to distinguish between true needs and wants. We'll talk about life's excessities- a made up word for a very real situation for many people, when excesses become necessities. This book is about the compulsion to overindulge in any number of everyday behaviors, including the bizarre, comical and the not so funny. Excessity is the impulse that throws caution to the wind and demands immediate satisfaction. It is the blindness that occurs when comfort becomes more important than consequences. Excessity is about feeding our wants and desires, while at the same time starving our true needs. The more we starve what we really need, the greater our hunger grows, causing us to stuff ourselves with more and more of our wants. After stuffing ourselves full of wants, we find that we're still starving, empty, and desperate- and the mad cycle repeats."

Some of the excessities are kind of no brainers.... drugs, alcohol, etc. And some I kind of already knew like shopping, gambling, work. But some kind of surprised me... caffeine, exercise, relationships, money, anger, guilt. It's not an all encompassing list nor is it limited to those things. But we each have our own brand and sometimes very particular brand of "never enough".

I was surprised to find one of my particular excessities to be guilt. Jantz explains that, "Guilt, when worn by the person, however, is generally quiet, like a shroud. Whereas anger is retaliatory, guilt is preemptive. Guilt says, You don't need to hurt me; I'll do it myself. By administering a self-inflicted blow, guilt seeks to control the level-if not the presence-of pain. Guilt is a way to make yourself responsible for and thus in control of the pain in your life. The guiltier you feel, the more pain you expereince. The more pain you experience, the more apt you are to attempt to control it through guilt." Ironically, I'm guilty of that....

He also gets into the topic of comfort/discomfort. "Sometimes, excessities are used to produce comfort-while at other times they are used to distract from discomfort. So it's not enough to just look at what you do to provide yourself comfort. You also need to examine what you do ot distract yourself from feeling uncomfortable."

Anyway, really enjoying the book.

I also am enjoying "Organizing your day: time management techniques that will work for you" by Sandra Felton (the Organzier lady) and Marsha Sims (from Sort-it-Out Inc.).''

It's helping me learn how to change and what needs to change. It's also helping me to identify what's important, what's priority, and eliminating the rest... but not giving in to the tyranny of the urgent. The breakdown is in the 10 management choices:
Dream Big, Focus: keep the main thing the main thing, Do It Now, Take Control of your projects, Delegate, delegate, delegate, manage interruptions, distractions and time wasters, make and use an effective schedule, use the right tools, hang on to a few powerful habits, and finally organize your space.

Although they don't tell me how to manage five children 6 and under I am hoping to glean what I can from this book. It cuts the chase and gets right to the point.

Anyway, long loop de loop there... back to Samuel. He had a CT scan earlier than we thought, they did it last week and yesterday we received the results. Things are looking good. He has a lot of scar tissue but that is all that seems to remain. Nothing cancerous seems to be growing! So yay! Good news.

And now to bed. Exhaustion is kicking my butt.


Sarah said…
So thrilled to hear the good news about Samuel! We loved Nate Wilson's book series too. :)

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