Tuesday, June 02, 2015

The day before my birthday, Birthday Blues, A poem.

Birthday Blues, Birthday Blues.

Shake them off but they stick like glue.

Wrestle them down into a tiny box

Put on the lid, sit on the top

But they Spring forward like a jack in the box.


Some moments time passes achingly slow

with more diapers to change, more noses to blow

And other moments it slips through my hands

like trying to catch water from my shower or hold grains of sand.


My story is still being written, it's not done, it's not the end

But I struggle to see the passing time as a friend.

He's written all my days, and hey I'm still alive

This isn't the end. I'm just turning 35.


Sorry I get like this,  philosophical and so crazy contemplative

It's just a by-product of being overly numerative.

Breathe, take a breath, and then exhale

Tomorrow is just like any other day, yes, I will prevail.


So I take all these feelings and emotions and I give them to God

And say I surrender, please help me to turn off

My brain that won't stop thinking and processing

That tells me how much I'm failing and all I'm doing wrong

Please help me to trust in the work of your Son.


More like Him, less like me,

Every year your changing me,

Into Your Likeness I want to be

more like you, less like me.


So tomorrow might suck, my husband is out of town

The kids might freak out and have total melt downs

Or perhaps it might be a rosy day that has unexpected good

With lots of little surprises and some very tasty food.



But I'm resting in the fact that it's okay either way

Whether it's awesome and amazing or a really horrible day.

I am held by One who knows and loves me and created the stars

So I can trust Him with my birthday, with my thoughts, with my heart.


And I know that in Him, I am free of myself,

Of the selfish, and the petty, of the obsession with me

And tomorrow I can choose how I respond

With joy or with anger, I can choose to be happy

With whatever I'm given, it's more than I need

It's better than I deserve, I have been set FREE!

1 comment:

Sarah said...

However tomorrow goes, I am glad that thirty-five years ago tomorrow God brought you into the world! And I hope you have some great birthday moments tomorrow. Happy Birthday friend xxx