Wednesday, March 15, 2017

When all you see is failure...

When all I could see was my failure.

The panic sets in. The crushing waves pour over me. Failure. Failure. Failure. This vague condemnation drowning me.

This morning I see so many shortcomings. I should have worked more on this. I am failing my kids in that. The laundry hasn't been done. Which means the kids are wearing dirty clothes to therapy.  I didn't help one of them do the homework this week for therapy and so was given  the disapproving look. I forgot the thing I was supposed to return. And my list of to-dos exceed the confines of time. And I feel paralyzed.

And the fear that haunts me most whispers in my ear... "I'm not enough"

And I'm not.
In and of myself I'm not enough.

My hope must come from something better, something bigger and something greater than me.

I need Jesus.

I need someone who is perfect and sinless to rescue me. Jesus who knows what it is to be human. Jesus who knows what it is to be broken, exhausted and overextended. Jesus who holds me close and never lets me go.

I do fail. But He never fails.
I am not enough. But He is more than enough.
I am imperfect and flawed... but He robes me in His perfection.

And so I breathe. I cry out to the Lord, "HELP!"

Help me believe you are who you say you are. Help me to trust you. Help me lean on you. In my weakness let me know your strength. In my anxiety let me feel your peace. Thank you that you are more than enough!

I move forward. Not because my circumstances are fixed but because my heart is re-centered. He will get me through this moment, this hour, this day.

Do you feel like a failure? Are you drowning in your not enough-ness? 

Cry out to Jesus. He alone can meet you. He knows you and understands you perfectly and He loves you! In Him you are more than enough. I know it's not easy. It's not easy bearing with ourselves, bearing with the brokenness of others and the brokenness of this world.

I can promise this He won't leave or forsake you. And like Paul*, we can boast in our weakness. His (Jesus Christ's) grace is sufficient for us and his power is made perfect in our weakness.

So let's press forward, forward in hope. forward in the knowledge that in our failings, in our weaknesses He is strong. And as we abide in Him we are being made to me more and more like Him.

Let's find joy in that we are accepted by Him who knows us full well and loves us and calls us His beloved. You are not alone. You are loved. You are known. You are more than enough.


*2 Corinthians 12:9

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