Weary, Teary and Bleary.
These are three words I would use to describe myself.
Weary. Well, what mother isn't tired. But it feels more than just tired. It feels more like burdened. Burdens dragging like heavy weights on my shoulders. The burden of Michael going into the hospital... yes, I think he is going to CHKD for the dyysphagia clinic (4-6 weeks). The burden of getting the kids school stuff situated. We're trying to get Samuel into the appropriate school (more hoop jumping-applications, forms, transferred records, etc.) and find a pre-school for Libby. I need to get dental work done and Mike and I both should see an optometrist. And there are many administrative calls that need to be made. And there are many e-mails to respond to. Mike's been working like crazy lately. Which is good. It's just been exhausting not having him around most nights. Having the kids for days and nights has been intense. He's working for my dad for the next 3 days. He just finished his "crunch week" with his other job.
Teary. I've been crying a lot lately. And now I can't cry and I wish I could. I'm annoyed at slight things. Like right now, I'm frustrated that Michael is chewing on his cord. He's managed to set his feeding tube off more than 30 times in a day. He's opened the medical port and drained his food out all over himself and wherever he's at... and then I have no idea how much food he's actually gotten into him. and he's been doing that daily. And then there's the whole trying to feed him by mouth... which leads me to another daily breakdown. I feel like I'm pulling my hair out trying to get him to eat. The therapist keeps telling me to relax and be calm when I feed him but I feel so much tension...
Bleary. Exhausted. I feel exhausted. The laundry is piling up around me and I just don't care. I'm too tired to care at the moment. The dishes are done and that's something. Laundry can wait. People are fed and diapered and clean.
So I guess it's time to lower my expectations. Maybe just have the kids crawl in bed with me and eat graham crackers and watch a movie. To let go of not having it together. Of not being in control. But trusting the Lord that the important things will be accomplished...in His time.
Oh may the peace which surpasses all understanding be with us... and guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. May we cast ALL our cares upon Him for He cares for us!!! And may we never tire and grow weary of doing good... even when we want to give up. May we find rest and joy in our Salvation. And may we know Christ more and love Him more. This is my prayer for each of us.
So I might be weary, teary and bleary... but my life is never dreary, Dearie!
Weary. Well, what mother isn't tired. But it feels more than just tired. It feels more like burdened. Burdens dragging like heavy weights on my shoulders. The burden of Michael going into the hospital... yes, I think he is going to CHKD for the dyysphagia clinic (4-6 weeks). The burden of getting the kids school stuff situated. We're trying to get Samuel into the appropriate school (more hoop jumping-applications, forms, transferred records, etc.) and find a pre-school for Libby. I need to get dental work done and Mike and I both should see an optometrist. And there are many administrative calls that need to be made. And there are many e-mails to respond to. Mike's been working like crazy lately. Which is good. It's just been exhausting not having him around most nights. Having the kids for days and nights has been intense. He's working for my dad for the next 3 days. He just finished his "crunch week" with his other job.
Teary. I've been crying a lot lately. And now I can't cry and I wish I could. I'm annoyed at slight things. Like right now, I'm frustrated that Michael is chewing on his cord. He's managed to set his feeding tube off more than 30 times in a day. He's opened the medical port and drained his food out all over himself and wherever he's at... and then I have no idea how much food he's actually gotten into him. and he's been doing that daily. And then there's the whole trying to feed him by mouth... which leads me to another daily breakdown. I feel like I'm pulling my hair out trying to get him to eat. The therapist keeps telling me to relax and be calm when I feed him but I feel so much tension...
Bleary. Exhausted. I feel exhausted. The laundry is piling up around me and I just don't care. I'm too tired to care at the moment. The dishes are done and that's something. Laundry can wait. People are fed and diapered and clean.
So I guess it's time to lower my expectations. Maybe just have the kids crawl in bed with me and eat graham crackers and watch a movie. To let go of not having it together. Of not being in control. But trusting the Lord that the important things will be accomplished...in His time.
Oh may the peace which surpasses all understanding be with us... and guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. May we cast ALL our cares upon Him for He cares for us!!! And may we never tire and grow weary of doing good... even when we want to give up. May we find rest and joy in our Salvation. And may we know Christ more and love Him more. This is my prayer for each of us.
So I might be weary, teary and bleary... but my life is never dreary, Dearie!
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