Drudge. Trudge. Drudge.

Pushing through every day feels like climbing a mountain. Go to bed. Wake up. Repeat.

I don't mean to sound joyless. I just feel discouraged and overwhelmed a lot of the time. Most days I feel like doing nothing. I'm nauseous most all the time and utterly exhausted. And yet the demands of meal making, diaper changing, baby cleaning, clothes washing continue.

Every day I pray for grace to make it through the day.

I struggle with panic attacks.

AND YET MY FAITHFUL GOD IS HOLDING ME.

I worked out at the Y today. Zumba really gets me going. I fed my children. I gave them their meds. I played with them. I read from the Psalms today. I feel like David constantly crying out to God out of desperation. What a great reminder to hear from a man who was literally being pursued by enemies that God is our refuge, our strength, our very present help in times of trouble.

So while my steps feel like lead I cling to my NEVER changing, ever good, just God. He is the same today, tomorrow and forever. He is my hope and my song in sorrow.

He is transforming me into His likeness. May I bring Him glory in the midst of the mundane. And while I drudge, trudge, drudge may my feet lighten as He carries my burdens.

Comments

Libbie's Mommy said…
Oh My sweet friend Jenn. I am praying for you always. I am so happy for you and your family, congrats on the baby to be soon. Please let me know if you need anything and If I am able I will gladly help you out in anyway. Please call me or e-mail me if you need anything even just to chat. Love you Jenn and praying for you too. Tiffani
Anonymous said…
My dear granddaughter, I think I can understand much of what you are saying. As my child #5 was on the way, feeling my lack and inability and overwhelmed, I found, "He maketh the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children." Knowing I was not that, I admitted to God what He already knew and asked him to make me that....HE DID! Alone, family over 400 miles away, widowed, no church family helping....God WAS my very present help and strength. Known by Him, "Faithful is He who has called....who WILL enable us". Easy? Absolutely not! A moment by moment walk....all of me seeking all of Him. And now, ....well, once I was young and now I am old and I can say....God is faithful! May His grace and His love sustain you as you walk in closer and closer intimacy with Him each day calling on the One who said, "I will never leave you or forsake you". I love you precious one.
Jennifer, as I was resting today (and feeling the yuck of pregnancy also) you popped into my head. I'm praying for daily grace for your daily needs and trials. Being sick on top of everything is SO HARD! I don't know how you do it but God is sure keeping you going. Love you
Anonymous said…
read my facebook message about layla

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