Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Life: When Stuff (*X@#!) Hits the Fan & Taking Leaps of Faith

Okay, so the break was nice. Refreshing. Much needed. But here's the thing... things are far from perfect.

Mike wants me to go to the doctor's. I asked why. He asks if I'm serious.
I've been sick for three weeks: cough/cold/sinus issues/sore throat. So maybe he has a point.

I was taking the kids to go see a dollar movie at Regal this morning (Summer Express). The kids were whining and upset the whole way to the movies in the car. I was tempted to cancel the whole trip but a friend was meeting us there with her kids. So I had everything: snacks, water bottles, diapers, etc. I was there on time. And then Libby gets sick. As we were walking to stand in line Libby starts throwing up on the sidewalk for about five minutes. A stupid kid from some day camp yells "Gross! Oh, yuck!" And I yell, "Thank you for stating the obvious. You're not helping!" I was mad. Steamed. Here's my poor sick little girl. And I'm ready to start crying.

So I drop off the three oldest boys with my helper, Thank YOU NATASHA so at least they get to enjoy the movie. I proceed to take Libby and Peter home.

I get a call from Mike- sad news... We are looking to move to Norfolk and the house we had our hearts set on renting fell through. I'm pretty bummed. We know it's in the Lord hands but this house seemed perfect. The right amount of bedrooms in the right area at the right price. It seemed like a miracle for us. And then it falls through. Trusting God to provide. Trusting that we are in His hands and that He has the right thing for us. He knows what's best for us.

I keep driving and then the bridge goes up. Sigh.

So I pull quickly into the thrift store. 25% off on Tuesdays at CHKD Thrift store on battlefield. Libby is feeling ok enough to go inside the store. We find a scooter and she had been in need of a new one. Yay. I find a cute pair of crocs for my niece.

We leave and drive home.

Libby: Do you remember when we were watching Kit Kittridge?
Me: Yep.
Libby:  Do you remember when you said, "Oh Look! The baby hobo is kissing the dog!"
Me: Yes.
(We both laugh)

I laugh at the utterly ridiculous. I laugh because I'm really about to cry and I'm sad that the house didn't work out. I laugh because I'm sick and I just don't seem to be getting better. I laugh because I'm frustrated with myself for getting mad at the kids for whining and being ungrateful and unappreciative of a fun movie event. I laugh because I try to make something work out and it fails miserably in a pile of puke on the sidewalk.

This is life. Ups and Downs. Good, bad and the ugly. It's us trying to hang on when we don't see a clear way. It's believing God at His word that He won't leave or forsake or abandon us when THE STUFF is hitting the fan.

It's hoping in what we don't see.

It's about being really messed up inside but still choosing to acknowledge that God is good and He is faithful and He is going to make a way.

So we're trying to find a new place to live. Trying to find a new car for Mike. And so much more than what I've shared.....

I asked Mike, "hey next time you preach. Let's not do the book of Job. Let's talk about blessing and provision and stuff." I was jesting... mostly. But mainly feeling sorry for myself and wanting things to work out. Mike did preach on Job two Sundays ago and it was excellent... and I'm reminded of my need for God. My need for a Savior and a Redeemer. This stuff is pretty messed up. But that's okay. God isn't done yet!

Samuel's hearing is getting worse. The last two weeks has been a significant decline. I'm yelling at him so he can hear me. I called audiology and they were able to schedule us to this FRIDAY! They're getting us in a whole month early. See that's good! God is moving mountains for us!

Libby and I are in bed. We're going to watch a Barbie movie. Trying to get her to keep down saltines and small sips of water.

Jesus, we need you. We need you to rescue us. From our broken world, our broken hearts, our broken lives, our broken bodies. Please redeem me. Please reconcile the relationships that are broken. Please heal our sick bodies. Please help me to believe. I am trusting you at your Word. You are faithful. You are able. You will not forsake us. My hope is in you Lord. You are good!!!
Amen.

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