Friday, October 09, 2015

Keep Running

I was so emotionally exhausted after Samuel's appointments this afternoon that I crawled into bed and took a 3 hour nap! What a blessing my husband is to offer respite to me; he came home from a long day of work and took over.

 I'm so proud of Samuel. I know he was nervous but he did a great job handling his EKG, echocardiogram, blood draws, IV and CT Scan. We follow up with his oncologist, Dr. Lowe, tomorrow. Praying for good news. We want to hear N.E.D. (No Evidence of Disease!)

Ian started throwing up this afternoon while I was taking Samuel to his appointment. He has continued through the evening.

Michael and Peter puppy piled on the bed with me while I napped this evening.

Laundry awaits me and schooling and more organizing and eliminating.

I'm wide awake at 1 a.m. and thinking.

Trying to quiet my heart and still my thoughts. Asking the Lord to direct my gaze on Him and deep breathe while asking Him to be my center.

Asking the Lord to direct my day and show me what to take on and what to defer. What needs doing and what needs waiting. What is my priority that He has for me.

I'm still learning how to move from surviving to thriving. From not just making it to successfully meeting goals and soaring.

How do you simplify life when you have children? Special needs? Lots of appointments? Teaching? A business? Changing your health?

I'm taking it one step, one moment, one day at a time and giving myself to the Lord. Asking Him to transform me more into His likeness and to help me surrender my perfectionism, my anxiety, my fears and my shame-based thinking.

I know there will be a beautiful outcome of all this. I'm not there yet. But I'm embracing what the Lord has given me. I choose to pick myself up out of bed in the morning and put on my running shoes, literally and figuratively, and to follow hard after Him.

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