Heard by God.

"Mom, my name means God hears me... but what if I can't hear God? What if I lose my hearing completely? How will I hear him?"

I sat in the car and choked back tears as I drove. I tried to eye Samuel when we came to a stop at a red light. His eyes were big and vulnerable.

I took a deep breath and spoke. "Samuel, we can always hear God. It doesn't require us to have physical hearing to hear God. He speaks in our inner selves. In our minds and deep in our hearts. He guides and directs us whether we can hear or not."

Do I believe that? Do I truly believe that? Yes.

But it's hard. As his hearing has declined and the questions rise I wonder... what's next? Will he lose it all together? Will he not? Blessed be His name. He who gives and takes away.

The storm is hard. It's rough. The winds are whipping and the rain is pouring and I'm tousled like a feather in the wind... but I'm also firm in His hand. Gripped by the One who loves me and knows me and more importantly knows and loves Samuel. I don't know what will happen next but I know God does. And I know He loves us and is for us.

These are challenging times. With the bone tumor... legs different lengths. Random pain. Migraines and headaches. Scoliosis that we are trying to figure out how to treat naturally.

There are other new factors coming to surface in our family that bring great trouble and pain and dissonance and heartache.

Hurricane is at work. But God is greater. He holds us. And He never lets go. Eyes on Jesus. I'm not pretending there is no storm.... but that He's bigger than it.