Surrendering Success.

Fear has held me back. Fear of failing. Fear of winning. My drive towards perfectionism has led me down a terrible path and choices at times. 

So, here is the thing. I'm choosing right now to take all my future successes that God gives me and point them right back at Him. I'm choosing that every victory is because of Him. So whatever the Lord brings my way, whether success at weight loss or writing a NYTimes bestseller, I will acknowledge the Lord. 

Here's another thing. Even when I lose all the weight I need to lose... even when I get an Agatha Award someday... I know achieving these goals won't truly satisfy me. Even when my child is truly potty-trained. Even when I'm in my larger home someday. Even when it will all "comes together", I will not be fully content.

My contentment must come from the Lord and Him ALONE. Whether in want or in plenty. Whether I'm at my optimal weight or at my largest. The Lord only will satisfy my heart. He is the only thing that will bring contentment. My writing is for Him. My body is for Him. I am an instrument in His hands! He is so faithful and good. 

I've given Him my failures. 

The Lord knows all my mistakes, errors, and screw-ups... but now I'm giving Him my wins as well.