Adventure girl... strikes again.
One thing I can say about my life, without hesitation, is that it is not boring. It is not dull. It is adventurous. The question I face in my daily life is "Will I choose to embrace today's adventure?"
The other option is to fight it. To try and ignore my life's "un-normalcies". To get angry or bitter. To be put into an institution. To run away or try to escape. To numb myself from pain or discomfort. To overeat. To over indulge. To read to escape. To sit down and cry without hope (self-pity). So instead I will choose to embrace.
Wednesday Ian was covered in a rash from head to toe... on his belly, face, neck, back.... pretty much everywhere. I had to take him to the doctor's in the evening and Mike and I couldn't go to caregroup. He seems to have been having an allergic reaction to amoxicilin. That's what the guess was at any rate. So we changed anti-biotics. It took over an hour just to see the doctor. I then went to Target to get the prescription.
I decided to go to caregroup late... well, pretty much at the very end, because I knew I needed prayer. We already had a vehicle die earlier that week. And with Mike looking for steady work and the complexities of our life I knew I was in need of encouragement.
One of the things I needed prayer for is grief. My sister's birthday is on Monday (December 7th). She would have been 27. I miss her so much. Even as I type there's an ache all the way in the core of my gut that just screams sadness and longing. She was my best friend and that's not something you let go of lightly. I miss calling her anytime I want. I miss shopping with her. Talking to her. Worshipping with her. Laughing and joking around. Baking or cooking. Drinking coffee. I miss reminiscing about past times. I miss watching her get ready for the day and seeing how much time she took on fixing her make-up and hair.... something I don't spend any time doing... guess I can learn from her in that dept. Talking about our husbands and laughing about the differences between women and men. I miss getting to talk to her about my children... and about raising children in general. I miss holidays and birthdays with her. I miss catching her eat ice-cream with a spoon right out of the container... early in the morning. I miss hearing her sing and play guitar. The way her nose would crinkle when she'd laugh. The sharp intake of breath that would always scare me witless... especially when I was driving... but she had just remembered or seen something exciting.
It's challenging dealing with Michael's cerebral palsy and all that it entails. working with him in his therapies. Watching him grow and change and get stronger... but comparatively being very delayed. Important appointments are coming up. His torticollis (head tilt) is getting worse.... and a new surgery looms in the horizon. I wasn't expecting that.
And being tired. Dealing with four very active children. Two of whom are now mobile and getting into the kitchen and tearing it apart or into the books.... or ripping up things... It's hard to manage.
So for all those reasons and more I went and asked for prayer. And I was blessed. I was encouraged. I needed those reminders of hope... and the opportunity it gave me to preach the Gospel to myself even as I was sharing with them. I am reminded of God's goodness and faithfulness. His steadfast love and mercy that never ceases. It's new every morning.
I am learning in my crying out to Him... that He is always there. always near. So close to the brokenhearted. He is eager to bind up my wounds... even the gaping holes of my heart and at times soul.
All that said.... The Next Day....
as I was driving Michael on Thursday to CHKD for a very important appointment (VIA- hee hee). The car broke down. Yep, the one working vehicle we had... broke down. And not just anywhere but on Dominion at the intersection of Cedar/Moses Grandy. It was a dangerous position. Top it off with people yelling and shouting and honking at me and you've got a full picture. The car wouldn't work. It wouldn't re-start.
I put my flashers on and jumped out of the car yelling an explanation to the angry people behind me. I popped my hood... (always a good show of distress) and pretended to look like I knew what I was doing. I pulled out the jumper cables from the back of the van. I then called Mike.
He was on his way but told me to call AAA.
In the meantime I'm trying not to panic as I pray for cars to not hit us and am concerned about Michaels' safety... but I'm in the middle lane... second car from the front... People are whizzing by us on either side.
God sends us Kent. He's a Pop-A-Lock, fix-your-tire, bring-you-gas, charge-your-battery guy. That's his business. So he comes up behind me and offers to help. First way he does help is protecting us with his vehicle. He uses his lights on top of the vehicle to give us a little space from other vehicles that our hounding us. He tries to jump the car but that wasn't the problem he quickly realizes. But he stayed til Mike came.... and he stayed until the tow truck came... again giving us protection from the onslaught of cars.
The tow truck came over 40 minutes later... but at this time Mike was with me. We took Libby to school after a quick stop for a chocolate donut for her (she was incredibly patient waiting).
So now I go home thinking we have 0 cars. How are we going to survive? What is going to happen to us? And God encouraged my heart to wait patiently... and I felt peace.
Here are the blessings:
The Day Before:
-I was given a $10 gift card for Target for ian's prescription. I used it to get Libby's main Christmas present- Training wheels!
-I received prayer at caregroup. Plus the benefit of seeing friends and people I loved.
-We were able to get into the doctor's the same day as his rash broke out!
-I was wearing rain boots that day. What a good thing... I was outside in huge puddles of water and mud and was completely protected.
-We were able to reschedule with CHKD easily.
-my father-in-law has provided AAA for us. So that aspect didn't cost a dime!
-I was driving a way I never would have gone to CHKD.... but a way that meant I didn't break down on the highway... and Mike was only a few minutes away from me! If I had gone the other way he wouldn't be able to get to me for 30+ minutes!
-God provided Kent for extra protection.
-We went to Starbucks for Lib's donut... they gave us free coffee! Thank you Rebekah!
-Libby was on time to school.
-Mike's mom picked Libby up from school!
-The car was fixed the same day. Thank you Mom & Dad Napier for taking care of it!!!
-I was still able to meet my friend that night and pick up our car.... and share a banana split from Brusters- thanks Michelle!
So in spite of bad/negative things happening I still see God's hand at work. His amazing protection, blessing and love from so many different people and from God directing my path.
I know my days won't be "easy".... by that I mean I'm not going to be laying around watching soaps and eating bon-bons.... but I know my faithful God is there... always present... always able... always sufficient. He is my provider. I know He cares for me!