I think I'm doing okay. I'm feeling more confident... feeling more able and then wham. Reality hits. Aaaagggh. Retreat. Run for cover. What on earth was I thinking? It's all to much. Run away. Run away.
Okay. So it's a little theatrical... but it's how I feel. If I have to tell my kids "NO!" one more time I might truly need to be committed. So when they ask why the men in the white coats came to get Mommy... tell them it was from saying No to much :) Okay, so now I'm just being loopy.
The expectations I have for myself are staggering. I want to do it all and be it all. I want perfection. I want to STRIVE for everything. I think sometimes God gives me days like this to remind me, "Hey, Jennifer.... SLOW down! Don't try and do it all. You can't. You're a creature. You're limited. I'm in control, remember?"
"Oh Yeah! Thanks God!"
Feelings are powerful, aren't they? Imagine if I told you tomorrow you would be given $10,000 dollars. Now how would you feel? Wouldn't you be happy and excited? Planning on how to use the money? Investing? A new wardrobe? A fun shopping trip at Target? Or hey, maybe you'd be thinking, "yeah, I can pay the bills now... or get out of some debt, etc." There's some relief. Some happiness.
Now what if i told you tomorrow you owed someone $10,000. Do you feel some anxiety, stress, fear, anger?
Funny how our feelings tend to correspond with our perspective on our circumstances. What I want is to align my actions with truth... not with how I feel.
My hormones are going crazy... the mood swings are driving me nuts... this post-partum thing is still happening... So, instead of beating myself up and freaking out I'm going to be kind. "Hey, self. It's okay. This will pass. This feeling will pass. You feel moody and flighty and cagey... It will go away. Take it easy and recognize that you can't do it all."
Jesus, Thank you for holding me close to you. Thank you for redeeming me and calling me Yours! Thank you that you have not left me to myself. Help me to walk by faith into what you have planned for me. I love you sweet Jesus. Amen.
Okay. So it's a little theatrical... but it's how I feel. If I have to tell my kids "NO!" one more time I might truly need to be committed. So when they ask why the men in the white coats came to get Mommy... tell them it was from saying No to much :) Okay, so now I'm just being loopy.
The expectations I have for myself are staggering. I want to do it all and be it all. I want perfection. I want to STRIVE for everything. I think sometimes God gives me days like this to remind me, "Hey, Jennifer.... SLOW down! Don't try and do it all. You can't. You're a creature. You're limited. I'm in control, remember?"
"Oh Yeah! Thanks God!"
Feelings are powerful, aren't they? Imagine if I told you tomorrow you would be given $10,000 dollars. Now how would you feel? Wouldn't you be happy and excited? Planning on how to use the money? Investing? A new wardrobe? A fun shopping trip at Target? Or hey, maybe you'd be thinking, "yeah, I can pay the bills now... or get out of some debt, etc." There's some relief. Some happiness.
Now what if i told you tomorrow you owed someone $10,000. Do you feel some anxiety, stress, fear, anger?
Funny how our feelings tend to correspond with our perspective on our circumstances. What I want is to align my actions with truth... not with how I feel.
My hormones are going crazy... the mood swings are driving me nuts... this post-partum thing is still happening... So, instead of beating myself up and freaking out I'm going to be kind. "Hey, self. It's okay. This will pass. This feeling will pass. You feel moody and flighty and cagey... It will go away. Take it easy and recognize that you can't do it all."
Jesus, Thank you for holding me close to you. Thank you for redeeming me and calling me Yours! Thank you that you have not left me to myself. Help me to walk by faith into what you have planned for me. I love you sweet Jesus. Amen.
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