Time Away.

Mike and I are enjoying some time away. We just had two nights by ourselves. We pick up the kids this afternoon. In the past we would come to the Outerbanks and not go once to the beach. We've enjoyed walking on the beach twice. I know. Don't pass out from shock.  It's funny how I tend to marvel at the quiet, the order, the peace of just being able to drink a cup of tea... the whole cup, while it's still hot. I've been a bit sick. Sinus infection/head cold managed to catch up with me. But yet, with the help of a netti pot, emergen-c, ibuprofen, etc. we've been able to enjoy a dinner out, a movie, a lot of laughter and tears as we've processed our life together thus far. It's been a mix of beauty and painful heartache. As if there was any other kind of heartache. Life is not always a beach, as the saying goes. But there's no one else I'd rather live it with than Mike.

Me & Mike

I love you Babe. Thanks for walking this crazy road with me. Thanks for being there. For being present in the midst of so much pain. From not walking away from the pain. Not turning away from the buckets of vomit. From all the shots that we were forced to give Samuel. From the hair falling out. From the exhausting nights of little to no sleep. From holding me when I cried myself to sleep. For playing with the kids, just as if it was business as usual. For Starbucks on dark days. For laughter that came after weeping. For your commitment to me and our five precious children. You have made the difference in this journey. You have helped me hold onto sanity when I wanted to give up. You pulled me out of the darkened room of my mind and prayed for me and comforted me... and asked Jesus to intercede when all hope seemed lost. 

       I am the woman I am because you are the man you are. I would never have asked God to give Samuel cancer... but I am thankful that even in the midst of it we have been able to see His hand at work. We have seen His provision and tender love and faithfulness in the midst of hardship.

       And even now, we don't have the answers to our future but our faith is in the One who not only knows the answers but plans our purposes and directs our steps. He will be faithful to us til the end. Jesus even now intercedes on the throne on our behalf.

       And with Jesus for us... who can be against us?! Can anything separate us from His love? Nope.

I love you more than words can say!