Sunday, February 08, 2009

Blah!




So Mike and I are both sick, exhausted and miserable. Nothing like having two parents down for the count when you have 4 kids. I'm feeling grumpy and unstable and an emotional wreck. The calm I had been feeling is gone down the drain. But that's the good thing about not trusting in your feelings. Feelings are fickle. Thankfully truth stays the same. It doesn't change. It doesn't waiver. And that's my hope.. it's in the Lord- in His unfailing love, grace, and mercy. And that He will keep me mindful of His truth even on the days I don't "feel it".

Michael's surgery has been scheduled for March 12th and we're trying to figure out if we should reschedule it or not... it was the day my sister was buried. I'm not really feeling up for it on that day... but we'll see. We're also working through some concerns regarding hearing, seeing and movement. The temptation is to become fearful and think the worst but we'll see. Even if it is "the worst" being anxious is not going to help. So right now I'm looking to the moment... sometimes the minute... if I look further beyond that I'm prone to despair. I just need to focus on what I need to do right now. So I took some vitamin C & some Nyquil, ate one too many cookies and am preparing to cry myself to sleep. I'm agitated and frustrated. I'm hoping a good night's sleep will set me straight.

Off to hook-up Michael's monitor and feeds.

Jesus- help me. you know what I mean. Thank you that I don't even have to explain it to you. Help this broken heart. In your Precious Name I pray, Amen.

2 comments:

Sara of Sweden said...

My dear dear friend,
My thoughts and prayers are with you constantly!
Sara

Les said...

Thanks for always sharing and being real about your feelings. I am going to get the book you suggested a few posts down. I have been in a pit of despair lately too; know you are not alone :)