Yes friends, the sky is falling.
Well we moved. It happened. We are finished with Penrose and the place was sparkling when we left. I am exhausted and sick and the kids have the croup. Saturday night there was literally only space to walk to our bedroom and to the kids room. a small narrow path...kind of what I imagine the path of righteousness to look like. That narrow. The gap has expanded now and it is more manageable due to a little help by me and a lot by my beloved. The stress is on. Mike has finals this week and next. I took the kids to the doctors yesterday and I head to my OBGYN tomorrow. So yes, finally I will be at the doctors...I must confess a temptation to fear. I'm worried that something is wrong... a very normal fear I am sure. Yet, I'm also worried they won't even know if anything is wrong for another 4 weeks or so (the next appointment) when I actually get an ultrasound.
I'm tired and feel like crap, crap, crap. My throat is sore. I'm sniffly and all I want is to be waited on hand and foot... okay, I'd settle for just being allowed to take a nap. Instead I get to wait hand and foot on my two bambinos... not that its' not a joy but when you feel like throwing up and your head's pounding and you can barely breathe you start to become afraid that you'll snap at the next, "Mommy!" or "Waaaaaahhhhh!"
This too shall pass.
Christmas is coming up and I'm feeling a sense of sadness... Why you might be asking... Well, it's hard when everywhwere you turn people are shopping or talking about gifts or buying trees. The bills have piled. I'm hoping that we'll be able to pay them and rent. I'm hoping that we can just make it. It's been so tough to always be BARELY getting by. To hope that there will be enough for gas or food or rent. Can't I just wave a wand? I am reminded though continuously that my provision comes from the Lord and that I am dependent on His faithfulness and goodness and mercy and that He WILL come through.
Seminary is not for forever but that doesn't mean that the trials and stresses and struggles go away when it's over. There is also the struggle of having plenty... right now that is not are burden... but I am thankful though that God has continued to provide... continued to sustain us and provide more than enough...
So fatigue, hormones, and downright yucky sickness are mine to bear for today. But not for always. This too shall pass. someday I'll be at the end of my life, looking back, and smile with fondness at these times, these years. So, I'll just enjoy where I am, surely my boundaries have fallen in pleasant places. So here's a smile for you and while you're at it can you pass me a tissue? We're all out :)