Thursday, September 25, 2008

What? Me? Crazy? Of course.

I'm learning to laugh at myself.  I feel so AAAAAGGGGH! Is that a feeling?  I want to order something absolutely delicious and soothing like a Chicaco Uno's pizza and not eat this healthy Kashi pizza.  I don't want to deal with screaming children.  But I do.  I want to hit a pause on the "mom" button but I can't.  Sometimes you just have to let your hair down.  And so as I'm sitting in the office, nibbling my healthy dinner and longing for something super cheesy and delicious I think, wow, my life could be worse.  

I am thankful for God sparing the lives of my children.  I am thankful for God saving me.  I am thankful for having a roof over my head.  The day is gloomy and depressing but I am thankful for the rain- watering the earth.  And yes, though there is healthy food there is also a strawberry and blueberry "cobbler" to anticipate at the end.

I am tired.  But I am not without hope.  I am discouraged by the kids' racking coughs, the slight wheezing, the watery eyes, dripping noses, and sneezing... a combo of asthma and allergies, but I am thankful for medicine, for inhalers, for doctors, for medical care.  

I laugh at myself.  I am so funny.  I get crazy thoughts in my head.  My imagination runs wild.  I have to grab hold of myself and say, "hey, self, wait a second here.  What is the truth."  I stop and think of who God is and His promises and I am reminded that it's okay.  He's God and I'm not.  He is in control and I am not.  He is changing me... left to myself I would remain a lump of cold clay.  But under His hands, His care, and His refining fire He is making me something grander than I could have imagined- His instrument.  

So stick out your tongue at the day and praise the Lord.  Rejoice even when it's raining and gloomy.  Give thanks even when your life sucks.  Know that He is faithful even when you screw up really, really bad... He won't forsake you.  He's not finished with you or me yet.  Sigh.  And blaaaaaagggggh.  Just shake your sillies out... it will get better.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Jen,

You express your feelings so well and honestly. I am sitting here thinking..."Spot on" I have been in a nice little self made hole myself and had to laugh my out.....it is the best thing ever to laugh at yourself and not take ourselves too seriously........Laughter is the BEST MEDICINE and God is our Great Physcian....

LOve
mom