Finding Rhythm.

I'm having a moment to breathe.

Spring is approaching but instead of the binding sadness that usually accompanies the vernal equinox I find my heart lift and warm. A little sunshine today was quite intoxicating.

I think I was actually happy (gasp) today. Happy. Like bouncing on your feet and drumming your fingers to a beat happy. I feel alive and excited. I've forgotten what this feeling was like so it's quite done me in.

I enjoyed a free lunch at McD's with a friend. The kids played and I felt myself just sit and be satisfied. Were the kids perfect today? No. Did I accomplish a ton today? No. But I just felt like I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. AND I was content.

I'm nibbling on strawberries and enjoying some Greek yogurt with honey. I just finished a hard work-out and I feel myself relaxing as I sit in Starbucks with my venti iced water and peace with myself.

The past several weeks I've slept in lately. An extra 45 minutes or so. At first I felt guilty but I got over it when I realized how hard this season is for me. The draining grief. Exhaustion from chasing four munchkins day in and day out. The boys just talk a little longer in their cribs but do great. We then get up together and have oatmeal. I've also been enjoying eggs with an english muffin.

I'm finding the rhythm to my days and life. I'm beginning to know what to expect.

Mike has been working hard and long lately... Praise God for work!

I've been enjoying the kids and also having fun with my new business with Pampered Chef.

Exercise is a normal routine of my life.

Kids have school, therapy, doctors appointments, etc.

I'm taking all four kids to the dentist tomorrow. And Aleya is going with us. It will be a mini-adventure.

Things still happen. We ended up in the ER last Friday with Michael. He pulled out his feeding tube and the hole had closed. We spent hours trying to reopen the site and it was a long, drawn-out, and very painful affair. They didn't even numb the area poor baby! They were unsuccessful getting his g-tube back in. On Sunday Mike and I were able to do it ourselves so we didn't have to go to the hospital on Monday!

But even with events and life and down-times there is hope. I don't feel like I'm drowning everyday. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And so today I'm here. I'm alive. And I'm happy.

Comments

Anonymous said…
**grin**

K
Mimi said…
Continuing to uplift you in pray friend :-) Love ya!

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