What do I really own?

"You can't receive if your fist is clenched closed."

This was what I felt God whisper to me. I was driving on the highway and this thought jumped in my head.

I realize I need to open my hand. It's the only way I can receive. True it means that things can be taken from me. But my ownership of those things are the illusion. I don't really have anything. Not really anyway.

I was listening to a song by Dido called "Life for Rent." Now mind you I'm taking these lyrics out of context but they struck me. The song is about love and allowing someone to really have your heart. But these particular lyrics made me think....

"I haven't ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it"

"But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine"

I haven't found a place I call home because I'm not home yet. It's not til I'm with Jesus that I'll be home.

And nothing I have is truly mine. 

My kids aren't mine, my husband isn't mine, my clothes, my house, my car, my computer, my camera- none of it is really mine. It's all the Lord's! The sooner I can get that through my thick head the better. 

So I'm continuing to surrender and say, Okay God this is yours. This child. This relationship. This dream. This brokeness. This hope. This home. This book I'm writing. This friendship. 

Trying to keep my hands open....