The graham crackers are scattered, broken and half-nibbled all over the table. and underfoot in the cracks of my slippers. The dishes are piled in the sink. Samuel's last poopy diaper remains in too close of vicinity.

The only neat thing around here is the goldfish crackers in a bowl too precariosly close to my left elbow. Discarded milk cups litter the table, the kids room, and underneath random couches and beds.

The older two are fighting and arguing about whether or not the door to their room should be shut. I hear Ian crying in the distance. My husband is exhausted from probably getting no sleep as child after child woke up last night with need after need.

If I'm lucky I might be able to swallow some tea through my overly swollen throat.

And yet, in the midst of this madness God is near. The patience He gives me to hug a child and wipe the tears off their faces. and to go fix breakfast. and to change another diaper. and clean up, yet again. and to rest in the fact that He doesn't love me more or less based on what I do or don't do. It's already been done.

I need rescuing. And He has rescued. Jesus has come and saved me from myself. From all my broken humanness and sin. and he restores.

our phones arent working because we cant pay the bill- but i dont need a phone to call out to my heavenly father. abba, help me. i am weak,tired and dispirited-fill me afresh with your spirit. i am surrounded by little ones-your little ones. help me care for them. give me your word to bring life. help as little ones are on my lap and underfoot, constantly needy, just like me.

those goldfish are everywhere. ian knocked them over and is trying to shove them into his mouth...


Anonymous said…
Dearest, I've been praying for you. I was wondering about your phones. How much do you need for your bill?
Email me if you feel up to it...

I love you,


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