Samuel asked me a question the other day...
"Mommy why did I have bad guys?* Where did they come from?"
So I had to explain to my seven year old that I don't know why He had cancer. I know it's a part of God's plan but I don't know why. I also explained that some cancer comes from known causes (smoking, etc)... but a lot of times, it happens without explanation.
I wrestle with this as well.
Yes, my son, why cancer? Why did it grow in your body while your were being knit within my womb? How could someone so small (a four year old) have a tumor the size of a softball? And how does it work that I believe God is good and sovereign and yet God allowed this and yet hates sin and the consequences of sin (sickness and death) all at the same time.
It's beyond me. But not beyond God.
Samuel's getting to an age where he can start wrestling with these deeper things. These deeper questions. He doesn't wrestle alone.
Scan is set for June 11th. Praying for all to be well. Knowing ultimately, all will be.
*Samuel refers to cancer as "bad guys".