Sunday, May 11, 2008

Some Thoughts On Motherhood.

Today is Mother's Day. My first Mother's Day with four children. wow- my children doubled since last year :)

One of the beautiful things about being a mom is how I'm learning more and more about humility, about dying to my desires, about relinquishing control and letting God work. He's showing up more and more... I'm lessening. It's a good thing.

I've never understood sacrificial love, self-denial, or giving when you think you couldn't give anymore until I became a mom. I've learned more than just how to change diapers, clean up throw up endless times or nurse sick children. I've learned about love, about joy, about sin, about confessing my dependence on God and surrendering myself to Him again and again. He is showing me that what I do unto the "least of these" I do unto Him.

Now, with that being said I won't pretend that it's easy or always fun. It is true labor. it is a work that tires. It is a work where you have to run to God to give up your fear and anxiety. But it is a blessed work. It is a sweet work. It is a pleasure to feel little hands around my neck and the words of "I love you Mommy!" in my ear.

I am a failure. I mess up. I sin. i yell at my kids. I get frustrated. I want to give up. I get angry. But the Lord sustains me. He keeps me going when I feel like I can't go any longer. He shows me that He hasn't given up on me. He helps me to be a better mother. He helps me to love more than I thought possible. I thank God that with Him all things are possible, including mothering four under four. I look to Him for comfort. I look to Him for reassurance and peace. I look to Him for my all in all.

I had hoped to go to church today. The kids were dressed and ready... but Libby and Samuel are sick. Both coughing, sneezing, runny noses, watery eyes, etc. So we drove and picked up a rose bush for my mom, went through the drive-thru at Starbucks, and headed out to my parents where we are spending the afternoon in the garden. Planting. Watching new life grow and form.

My mom just called to say she's picking up steaks and potatoes... yum! I'm looking forward to the peace and coolness of this place. Swing in a hammock. Hold my children. Bask in the love God has shown me this day.

I hope your Mother's Day is special... whether you are a mother or are enjoying your mother. And for those who have lost their mothers or want to be a mother but are not able, I ask God's comfort for your heart and for His healing balm for your spirit. Blessings on your day.

10 comments:

Caren said...

Jen, as always, its a beautiful post. I love your writing! thanks for bringing me back to what my focus should be on...Jesus. He is the one that all this (life, mothering, etc.) should be about! I hope you have a wonderful day today. Happy Mother's Day!

the Mosers said...

thanks too for the words of wisdom... healing and helpful

Sarah said...

Hey Jennifer - great post and one I expect I'll come back to for reminders! We had our mother's day in March over here but I am glad you had a good day with your mom and your little ones. Take care and big blessings on you too... xx

wendy said...

Happy Mother's Day! Sounds like you are in for a treat. Any relaxing is a treat I am sure. How is Michael?

Anonymous said...

The Lord is working in the hearts of His little ones. US.

He is the Master of our fate.......the Lover of our souls and the Creator of our lives and destiny. It is such a comfort to know that we are not left to ourselves as mothers. It is so hard, the nursing sick babies, disciplining and correctings. To you, Jen and your friends who are mothers of smaller children, these days may be your hardest. Lack of sleep, lack of $, lack of time to do what you want. Just know that as you give yourself to Him and His littles ones, you will experience great rewards.......He loves you and knows each and every need, desire and request....... TRUST. In Him alone. To all of you mothers of young children, Just LOVE each day because your days of teens and adults will be here before you know it. You are such a good Mommy and I am so proud of you Jen.
loving you, PS You will also worry and pray alot when they are older, too.
I love and respect and honor you as a woman, mother, my son's beloved wife.......and my friend and daughter by marriage.
I love you
faf
faf

anne said...

Happy (belated) Mother's Day!
Thank you for your words, they were beautiful and encouraging to me.

AmyB said...

Happy belated mothers day to you Jennifer! You are doing an amazing job with those kiddos and your story about having your oven mit still on your hand (last post) made me laugh out loud. Ah yes, I can relate! I love you!

LiAnn said...

Jennifer...where is Mayala these days? I guess she doesn't come out much, huh? We will have those careless silly days back...when we can embarrass our kids and then teach them to be silly and laugh at themselves too.

Well, you are such a thoughtful friend and I am so grateful you have called me in the midst of sick kids and trips to the hospital. Your boys are beautiful. I can't wait to see them in person. You just so amaze me Jen. What an example of a weak vessel allowing God's strength to uphold and work through! Amazing...

And I can SO understand the "oven mitt" fatigue...and I laughed like Amy did! :) If it makes you feel any better, I once did my makeup only on one eye...and had the opposite earring in. I must have looked like a punk rock pirate...

Trying to call you soon...this time to hear how YOU'RE doing! :)Until then, XOXO!

LiYY

LiAnn said...

Jennifer...where is Mayala these days? I guess she doesn't come out much, huh? We will have those careless silly days back...when we can embarrass our kids and then teach them to be silly and laugh at themselves too.

Well, you are such a thoughtful friend and I am so grateful you have called me in the midst of sick kids and trips to the hospital. Your boys are beautiful. I can't wait to see them in person. You just so amaze me Jen. What an example of a weak vessel allowing God's strength to uphold and work through! Amazing...

And I can SO understand the "oven mitt" fatigue...and I laughed like Amy did! :) If it makes you feel any better, I once did my makeup only on one eye...and had the opposite earring in. I must have looked like a punk rock pirate...

Trying to call you soon...this time to hear how YOU'RE doing! :)Until then, XOXO!

LiYY

LiAnn said...

Ooops...speaking of fatigue...sorry for the double comment there. :)

Love ya...