Some Thoughts On Motherhood.

Today is Mother's Day. My first Mother's Day with four children. wow- my children doubled since last year :)

One of the beautiful things about being a mom is how I'm learning more and more about humility, about dying to my desires, about relinquishing control and letting God work. He's showing up more and more... I'm lessening. It's a good thing.

I've never understood sacrificial love, self-denial, or giving when you think you couldn't give anymore until I became a mom. I've learned more than just how to change diapers, clean up throw up endless times or nurse sick children. I've learned about love, about joy, about sin, about confessing my dependence on God and surrendering myself to Him again and again. He is showing me that what I do unto the "least of these" I do unto Him.

Now, with that being said I won't pretend that it's easy or always fun. It is true labor. it is a work that tires. It is a work where you have to run to God to give up your fear and anxiety. But it is a blessed work. It is a sweet work. It is a pleasure to feel little hands around my neck and the words of "I love you Mommy!" in my ear.

I am a failure. I mess up. I sin. i yell at my kids. I get frustrated. I want to give up. I get angry. But the Lord sustains me. He keeps me going when I feel like I can't go any longer. He shows me that He hasn't given up on me. He helps me to be a better mother. He helps me to love more than I thought possible. I thank God that with Him all things are possible, including mothering four under four. I look to Him for comfort. I look to Him for reassurance and peace. I look to Him for my all in all.

I had hoped to go to church today. The kids were dressed and ready... but Libby and Samuel are sick. Both coughing, sneezing, runny noses, watery eyes, etc. So we drove and picked up a rose bush for my mom, went through the drive-thru at Starbucks, and headed out to my parents where we are spending the afternoon in the garden. Planting. Watching new life grow and form.

My mom just called to say she's picking up steaks and potatoes... yum! I'm looking forward to the peace and coolness of this place. Swing in a hammock. Hold my children. Bask in the love God has shown me this day.

I hope your Mother's Day is special... whether you are a mother or are enjoying your mother. And for those who have lost their mothers or want to be a mother but are not able, I ask God's comfort for your heart and for His healing balm for your spirit. Blessings on your day.