Confession.

I get totally overwhelmed and guilted out by all the ways I want to catch up with people and don't.

What do I mean you might say?

Well, I haven't checked people's blogs in like 3 months... I only check facebook every few weeks and have no idea what I'm doing there... and I get scared to check people's blogs now because I'm afraid someone else is pregnant or already had their baby or something major is going on that I've missed and I don't have the time to go through 60+ blogs for the past 20+ entries and see what's happening.

My cell phone feels like a joke. I miss calls all the time because my phone doesn't ring. Or the phone rings and I can't answer because it will drop the call. Or I don't answer because I'm changing a diaper... solving a fight between toddlers, feeding someone, cleaning something... am upstairs and the phone is downstairs or downstairs and the phone is upstairs (Mike recommends that I tape it to my butt), or cooking, or not at home, or whatever... I think you get the point.

I feel so out of touch in others lives. I want people to know that I do care... I do want to know what's going on in their worlds... I do wish I could read every blog post and comment or respond to every FaceBook Message and write back... but it just doesn't happen. It's not very realistic. But it's not because I don't love you or care.

I can't text because my phone won't let me push the letters d, e, f, m, n, o, w, x, y, z. I don't have time to breathe most days. Literally I make myself stop several times a day and just take deep breaths.

so anyway, if you thought I don't care it's not true. I'm just not able to communicate these days. Please don't take it personally.

The stack of letters I want to write have gone unwritten. The pile of magazines go unread.


I will return to the planet again someday. Maybe even in the next year or so. Wink. Wink.

Comments

wendy said…
Sounds to me like God is hemming you in right where you need to be...a wife and mother. No guilt, just trust that God will not let you miss anything you shouldn't.

You are a great mom!!

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