Mango Moments.

I love when I make myself try something new.

I was walking in the produce section of the grocery store and saw it. The beautiful green and red glow of fresh mangoes. My last experience of mangoes was in East Timor 9 years ago... but they were rotten... and I didn't know it... made me throw up... so I decide to give it a whirl.

Delicious, fresh and sweet. It was like peach inside but more firm and more tropical. Hmmmm. I love it when new things go well.

Today has been a low day. I woke up to the rain. And the tears have been rolling all day. I have missed my sister so bad. I dreamt about her last night. I dreamt she was alive. It felt so real. And when I woke she was gone. The ache is ripping my guts out.

I yelled out loud at the kids and I actually swore "Damn It!!!" I was so exasperated trying to get the kids in the car and I finally had them buckled in. It took 20 minutes to get them all in and then Libby told me as I was backing out that she had to go potty. That's when I swore. Pulled back in the driveway. Unbuckled Michael. Unbuckled her. Moved the seat to let her out. What a day. Brokenness. Weakness. My heart ripping and my tears flowing. And me repenting and asking forgiveness from God and my daughter... who told me I was very mean. I'm glad it's not a normal occurence but these things do happen. It had been a hard day with them earlier today.

At the end of myself. At the end of my wisdom. At the end of my strength. At the end of my reserves. Mike reminded me on the phone of a very important verse.

1 Cornthians 1:26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, [2] not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being [3] might boast in the presence of God. 30 And because of him [4] you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

So I am boasting in the Lord. He is all I have. He is all I need. He is more than enough for me.

2 Cornthians 12:9- But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

My precious mother-in-law is giving me a respite. I'm going to go surrender to the Lord.


Anonymous said…
I love you. I'm sorry you had a rough day...

Praying for you. Wish I could give you a hug. Keep holding fast to Jesus. He will not let you go.


Thanks for the honesty. We've all been there - the bottom, the pit, the darkness, the ugliness of sin. But most of all thankfully Jesus as been there too and goes with us. He is the way out. Thank YOU for reminding me.

I laughed when I read "who told me I was very mean." I don't want to be a mean Mommy - Oh for MORE grace, each day, for each one of us very mean people in my crazy home!

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