Waiting out the storm.

Sitting in a Starbucks sipping slowly on a soy chai latte and laughing at the rain outside. This is the third time in a week that I've been caught in an absolute downpour... I mean I look as though someone's thrown a bucket of water on me. The lightning and thunder go on outside but I'm tucked in a corner- cozy couch, sitting barefoot Indian style and reflecting on life.

Some times I can get really hung up on doing the "right" thing. I don't mean morally right. I mean what I imagine to be the "best, most-efficient, most-responsible, best-appearing" thing to do. So instead of doing what I feel like the Spirit is directing me to do I think of all the things I "should-be" doing. I feel guilty when I take a break or a rest. I mean I could be doing another load of laundry or making another administrative call or wash the dishes again... but let's be honest... at least for my life, my "to-do's" won't end. They just won't. There's always plenty to-do. And even if I've cleaned out my purse, the diaper bag and the car it's not "enough".

Oh creature that I am. Have you forgotten that you are a mere creature? In need of rest, respite, refreshment.

I forget that.

I've been surrounded by an unnatural peace even in the midst of stress and change. I'm handling things better than I would have a year ago. Mike reminded me that I've grown. I think I need to be reminded of that because so often I see how far I need to come.

I feel like it's wrong to do things I like. But it's not true. I'm chewing on the quote from John Piper, "God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in HIm." So true. When I'm satisfied in Him and realize my standing with Him. Realizing I am loved, chosen, accepted, forgiven, and redeemed... well, it changes how I live. And I'm okay with enjoying my parenting, enjoying quiet moments, reading a book, cooking dinner, and changing diapers.

so my circumstances aren't different but my perspective on myself, God and circumstances are different... and well, it changes everything.

The power has gone on and off. The storm rages on around me... but this cafe is like my heart right now: warm, toasty, peaceful and safe.

John 14:27- "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

Thank you Jesus for your peace that surpasses all understanding.


AmyB said…
I always forget and barely remember! You are so right, rest is from the Lord! Yay for naps and yay for seeing you tomorrow!
Anonymous said…
so helpful. thank you.

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