After the OR
I'm eating popcorn and drinking a juice box and am about to go to bed.
I must confess I'm glad the procedures are over but there's a new type of nervousness in the center of my gut... what will they say tomorrow? Will the bone marrow be normal? What type of treatment will he have? How long will he be in the hospital? The list goes on and on.
But you know what's comforting? God already knows the answer to all these questions. And He's not afraid. He knew Samuel had this before we did.
We've been so blessed with love and support... with meals and coffee and gift cards and hugs and tears and to you anonymous people who have given money... thank you! And to those who have treated me to breakfast, and lunch and dinner... thank you! And for those of you who have brought gifts for Samuel and Libby- thank you.
I'm realizing I have to be careful not to leave Libby out. She's very aware and sensitive and discerning and all she sees is Samuel is in pain and he's getting gifts... and he gets to watch tv and movies all day and pretty much eat what he wants. So thankful for those who are giving her some special attention. The child life specialist help talk to her today about Samuel's owie in his body which is called a mass or tumor. Libby said she preferred "tumor". The specialist also told her about Samuel's central line and what to expect with Samuel. The child life specialist is a Christian and is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!! I think she might become a best bud pretty quick.
If you're wondering how I'm doing so well (as so many of you have been saying to me) it's two things:
One- It's God holding and sustaining and carrying me and Mike and Samuel.
Two- I'm in shock. My body still hasn't caught up with all that's going on. My head is reeling but I just feel like I'm going to throw-up or pass out. Sometimes shock is such a gift. It helps you cope and get through. The grief comes in waves. Sometimes I cry sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want to be touched (hugged, etc). Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want to eat. Sometimes I don't.
But now it's time for bed. I need the sleep and rest. We get the "big news" tomorrow. So pray.
And like Dorey in Little Nemo we'll "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming..."
Translate it to "just keep praying." or "just keep breathing".
Know that God is holding us and sustaining us.
I must confess I'm glad the procedures are over but there's a new type of nervousness in the center of my gut... what will they say tomorrow? Will the bone marrow be normal? What type of treatment will he have? How long will he be in the hospital? The list goes on and on.
But you know what's comforting? God already knows the answer to all these questions. And He's not afraid. He knew Samuel had this before we did.
We've been so blessed with love and support... with meals and coffee and gift cards and hugs and tears and to you anonymous people who have given money... thank you! And to those who have treated me to breakfast, and lunch and dinner... thank you! And for those of you who have brought gifts for Samuel and Libby- thank you.
I'm realizing I have to be careful not to leave Libby out. She's very aware and sensitive and discerning and all she sees is Samuel is in pain and he's getting gifts... and he gets to watch tv and movies all day and pretty much eat what he wants. So thankful for those who are giving her some special attention. The child life specialist help talk to her today about Samuel's owie in his body which is called a mass or tumor. Libby said she preferred "tumor". The specialist also told her about Samuel's central line and what to expect with Samuel. The child life specialist is a Christian and is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!! I think she might become a best bud pretty quick.
If you're wondering how I'm doing so well (as so many of you have been saying to me) it's two things:
One- It's God holding and sustaining and carrying me and Mike and Samuel.
Two- I'm in shock. My body still hasn't caught up with all that's going on. My head is reeling but I just feel like I'm going to throw-up or pass out. Sometimes shock is such a gift. It helps you cope and get through. The grief comes in waves. Sometimes I cry sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want to be touched (hugged, etc). Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want to eat. Sometimes I don't.
But now it's time for bed. I need the sleep and rest. We get the "big news" tomorrow. So pray.
And like Dorey in Little Nemo we'll "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming..."
Translate it to "just keep praying." or "just keep breathing".
Know that God is holding us and sustaining us.
Comments
Jen, you are so articulate, honest, and faithful. I am continuing to pray for you all, and yes, sometimes it's good to be in shock! I'm also glad people are making you drink! :-)
I'll be in touch with Laurie. I know there are so many people who are so much closer to you and i don't want to crowd you with extras, but if there is anything we can do we would love to do it. Thanks for allowing us to serve you. Blessings on Mike, Libby, your folks, and the twins as well as Samuel!